***Matt’s POV***

The voice on the phone is half-frantic. "Matt! You need to get to the bar right now!"

I paused, confused. "Sean…what’s the rush? Are they having a kareoke contest or something?"

 I heard Sean take a breath to calm himself. "No, just…get down here, ok? I need to talk to you."

So I got ready, headed down to the hotel bar. Sean sat there with…Chris Jericho? Since when is
Sean friends with Jericho? And they both look worried…

 I reach the table right as Jericho is getting up. "I’m gonna go see what’s up, ok?" he says to
Sean. Turning to me, he smiled. "Hi Matt."

I wave shyly, sitting down. Once Jericho was safely out of earshot, I glare at Sean. "What’s going
on?"

Sean shakes his head. "Nothing. I just wanted some company…"

"Is that why you were talking with Jericho?" I ask. I hate head games, I always end up looking
 like a total idiot…

 Sean started to answer, but was distracted by the Radicals walking by. "Assholes…" he
muttered.

"Yeah, you’re telling me," I answer quietly.

We sat in silence for a moment, then Sean stood up. "I’m just gonna run and make a call real
quick, ok?"

I nod, watching him go over to the payphone. He stands there for a moment, just listening, then
he goes pale. Hanging up, he walks back over to the table. He looks uncomfortable, scared…
"Did something happen?" I ask.

He seems unsure how to start. "Matt…Chris just found Eddie in his hotel room, all bloody and
unconscious…it looks like the Radicals might be responsible…"

Oh God, no…. this is all my fault, if he wouldn’t have defended me, this would’ve never
happened…"Is....is he ok?"

Sean’s face was serious. "Chris is taking him to the hospital. He said…there’s really no way of
knowing right now."

For the first time in my life, I make a decision without first agonizing over it. "I want to go see
 him."

Sean looks at me, speechless, but I stand firm. For once in my life, I’m not gonna give in. Finally
he sighs. "Ok…but I’m driving."

***

The antiseptic smell fills the air in the hospital. Sean and I wander the halls until we find Chris.
 He’s slouched in a chair, and his eyes look red and puffy. Sean gives my shoulder a small
squeeze and goes to sit next to Chris, putting an arm around his shoulders. The blonde gratefully
leans back against him, obviously seeking comfort. I don’t have time to analyze the implications
of this though, because I can only focus on the closed door in front of me.

Jericho’s voice from behind me is weak. "You can go in if you want. I just…I can’t…" He
 swallows. "I’m squeamish about hospitals and I couldn’t stay in there any longer."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sean’s arm tighten around him as I push the door open. The
rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor tears through my head and I can’t help but feel a wave of
 fear. I understand why Jericho can’t stand to be in here.

And there’s a hospital bed, and there’s Eddie, and he’s all bandaged up and so STILL…so damn
still…every time I’ve ever seen him, he’s had so much energy, and now this. And then the tears
start. "You can’t do this to me." I whisper. "You can’t. You can’t get hurt for sticking up for me…"
I sink into a chair next to him, and I reach out to take his hand. It’s almost instinct.

Eddie stirs, and I stay very very still for a moment, waiting to see what he would do. But I guess
it’s just a false alarm, because he doesn’t move anymore. I let out a shaky breath. "I don’t even
 know why I’m here. Why should I matter enough for you to defend?"

Of course, there’s no answer.

And I sit there still, waiting, and I hear the radio in the background, soft guitar sounds, and the
words cut through me.

                 I'm desperate for changing
                 Starving for truth
                 I'm closer to where I started
                 I'm chasing after you

 I don’t understand! Does the radio just sit there waiting for the worst time to play the sappy
songs? And yet…it seems so appropriate, the words about chasing…

                 I'm falling even more in love with you
                 Letting go of all I've held onto
                 I'm standing here until you make me move
                 I'm hanging by a moment here with you

And there’s the tears again. I don’t know how much more I can take of this, and it’s only been
 going on for a few days. What does it say about me, that I’m this lost after so short a time?

                 Forgetting all I'm lacking
                 Completely incomplete
                 I'll take your invitation
                 You take all of me now

Well, there goes that. The song’s gone all happy now and I can’t relate anymore. What I’d give to
have the kind of relationship like they sing about….

I can’t take this either. I need to get out of here, to see if Sean will get me drunk off my ass
again…. I turn to leave, until I hear….

"Matt?"