Title: Who's Screwing Who?
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimers: Hunter and Jericho don't belong to me.  SPOILERS FOR 2/8
SMACKDOWN!!!
 

"Hunter?"  The voice from the doorway was deceptively sweet.

I looked up from the book I had been previously reading.  "Yeah baby?"

Jericho stood, hands on hips.  "I'm not fit to represent you?  I'm
gonna...what was your phrase again, screw you?"

Ooooookay....  "That's what I had to say.  Wouldn't of looked so good for me
to say "Ooo, that Jericho, DAMN when he gets gone with that match tonight,
I'm just gonna kiss him alllll over..."

"Stop it!"  Jericho yelled.  "Stop trying to sweet-talk me, because it won't
work."

I rolled my eyes dramatically.  "Fine!  I'm sorry for dissing you, ok?  I
didn't mean it."  My voice softened.  "I'm sure you'll do fine."

Jericho bent down until he was inches from my face.  "I'll do better than
fine.  But either way, one thing you said is true."

I leaned toward him and pressed a light kiss to his lips.  "What's that?"

He grinned evilly.  "I will screw you tonight."

***

ONE HALF-HOUR LATER

"So..."  I leaned against the doorway.

Jericho grinned up at me.  "Looks like we will get to prove who's better
after all."

 I sat down next to him.  "Well now, this is not a contest of who's better
per se..."

"Oh like hell it's not."  Chris was smiling, but I could tell he was
serious.  "Should be a fun match, don'tcha think?"  He paused.  "What,
you're not afraid of little ole me are you?"

"Of course not."  Ha.  Like he could ever beat me.

He stood.  "Good.  Cuz I'd hate for you to be frightened during that
screwing part later.

***

Whoo.  That was one hell of a match.  I wonder if anyone else could tell our
anticipation, this game of one-ups-man-ship that we both knew would lead to
a whole different kind of wrestling later.  Of course, we never really got a
winner, but it doesn't matter.  We walked backstage to the locker room where
both of us collected our bags.

Chris stood there for a moment, and dammit, he just looked so cute I had the
urge to sweep him up off his feet.  Which I did.  Cradled in my arm, he
grinned and threw his arms around my neck.  "What a gentleman you are," he
giggled.

I carried him out to our rental car and sent him down in the passenger seat.
We drove back to the hotel and flopped out onto the bed.  We lay there,
still for a moment, just resting, until Jericho rolled over to face me.
"You're not too sore after our match, are you?"

I smiled.  "Me?  Sore?  From you?  Nahh..."

He got up onto his knees and crawled over so he was straddling my stomach.
"good, cu I still intend to screw you."

I let myself giggle, twisting my hair around my finger in a way only blondes
know how to do.  "Why, the sexy Chris Jericho wants to screw me?  It must be
my lucky day!"

Jericho rolled his eyes.  "Oh please.  Do NOT go all airhead on me."  He
paused.  "Although it is kinda cute..."

I made myself blush.  Jericho wants to be in control, he wants me cute, by
God I'm gonna be cute.  "You're such a flatterer.  I'm not that cute..."

Jericho leaned forward to kiss the tip of my nose.  "Sure you are."  He
moved off of me.  "Now...I want you to strip for me."

I got up so that I was kneeling and slowly pulled my shirt over my head.  It
had been a long time since I had taken orders from someone else, since I had
let myself submit to someone else's pleasure.  I managed to get my pants off
before there was a knock on the door.

"Why us?  Why always us?"  Chris moaned as I went to open the door.

Two women stood there.  Both were tall with brown hair.  One, slightly
larger built, was wearing a very short, very bright blue dress with a pink
feather boa.  The other was thinner and wore a black blouse with a red
mini-skirt.

Pink boa stared at me.  "Can we use your phone for a moment?"  There was
something very odd about her voice.  I shrugged and let them walk in.  Red
mini-skirt picked up the phone and quickly punched in some numbers.  "Hey.
We're..."

Pink boa grabbed the phone from him.  "Peter!!!!  Our butts got locked out
because of you!  You jerk!!!  We need back into the room."  Now I know what
was so odd about the voice.  She wasn't a woman at all.

Jericho stared at our two guests.  "Kirk Angel, Mitchell Cole, please shut
the hell up and leave us alone.  Go wait for Tazz outside his room and leave
ours before I have to get nasty."  And the scary thing is, he said it
without raising his voice.  And even scarier...they believed him.   They
shuffled out, Kurt flipping his boa and winking at me as he left.  I
shuddered in horror.

But there was Chris, still lying on the bed, smirking slightly.  "Well now
that that is over.."  He pointed at my boxers.  "Those.  Off.  Now."

I happily obliged, tossing them in the pile with the rest of my clothes.
"Now you."

I took my time unbuttoning his shirt and pushing that off.  Next, I managed
to get his shiny pants off, which believe me is a chore.  I moved to slip my
fingers into the waistband of his boxers but he stopped me.  "No no no, not
yet.  Lie down."

Alrighty then.  I stretched out on my back on the bed while he knelt over
me.  "Do you feel all dom now?"  I asked with a laugh.

He tried to keep from smiling.  "You better watch it, or else
I'll...I'll..."

"Tie me up?  Chris, do you even have the slightest idea what you're talking
about?"

Jericho smiled slightly.  "Work with me here."  He moved up to kiss my lips.
The kiss soon deepened and that kept us occupied for quite awhile.

When we finally broke apart, both of us were panting slightly.  "I could
kiss you all night," I murmured.

"Yeah, but that would take time away from all the other fun things for us to
do."  He started to flick his tongue over my nipples, leaving me gasping for
breath.  "You like that, Hunter?"  he said softly.

"Oh fuck yeah..."  I arched my back slightly.  "Chris, please...can we get
to the screwing part soon?"

Jericho looked up at with a very evil smile.  "Ok, ok ok."  He started to
move backwards until he could lean off the bed and reach into his bag.
"Cream Puff?"

I watched him fish around for whatever he was looking for.  "Yeah, Honey
Bun?"

He finally sat up, holding a tube of lube.  "When was the last time someone
fucked you?"

His words sent a shiver down my spine.  Ohhhhh yeah..... "Four years ago,
right before Shawn's last match."  I looked upwards, trying to get my ditz
look going again.  "And that was a realllllly long time ago, so it would
almost be like you were taking my virginity.  Wow, wouldn't that just be
like...so cool?"

Chris shook his head, laughing.  "Sometimes I wonder about you..."

The next thing I knew, there was a cool, slick finger at my entrance, and I
couldn't keep back a small squeal.  Chris worked it in, then added another
finger.  It was almost as if it really were my first time again...I was so
much a different person when I was with Shawn.  Finally, there was the sound
of rustling cloth, and then....

Oh my God....oh wow, I forgot it was like that.  Is this how Jericho felt
when I was in him?  He immediately got my sweet spot and started working it
for all it was worth.  My fingers clenched on his back, sweat making them
slippery.  It just feels so damn good...

Jericho started kissing along my collarbone and I moaned against him.  He
added a slight nip and I was lost, coming into him.  I could feel him too
going over the edge.

Afterwards, we lie next to each other, spent.  Chris was the first one to
speak.  "See?  I did screw you."

"Damn right."  I thought for a moment, then turned over to face him.
"Chris?"

He looked over.  "Yeah, Hunter?"

I swallowed, trying to collect my courage.  "Look, I really wasn't planning
on doing this today so I wasn't ready or anything but...will you marry me?"

There was a moment of silence in which my heart plummeted.  Then, I heard a
tiny whisper.  "Yesyesyesohgodyes..."  He reached out his arms to hold me
and I pulled him close and kissed his forehead.  He snuggled against me.  "I
love you so much."

"I love you too, Jerky."

He glanced up at me through shining eyes.  "What made you pick tonight to
ask?"

I shrugged.  "Well, there was the fact that you just looked so beautiful
lying there, and then.."  I whispered something in his ear.

Jericho's eyes got wider.  "You're kidding....TODAY?  Well, then this calls
for a celebration!"  He whistled and all of a sudden, it was like there was
a stampede.

Mideon in Daisy Duke shorts.  Undertaker dressed like a hooker.  Sean and
Kane wrapped around each other and another Kane, maskless, looking like he
was just watching a football game.  Eddie Gurerro in a big sombrero, Chyna
smiling widely, the Outlaws wearing each other's clothes, and a very
shy-seeming Matt Hardy.  All of them suddenly in our hotel room.  But it was
ok, there were my buddies.

We all looked up and started to sing.

Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday dear Mari...
Happy Birthday to you!!!

We all started to giggle.  "We're getting married, Mari!"  Jericho yelled
out.

There was much celebration and there wasn't even that much confusion when a
short girl walked out of  nowhere to grin up at the ceiling.  "Hey up
there,"  she said, "me and my muses just wanted to wish you a happy
birthday.  We love you!"

In unison, we all blew a big kiss.  Life was good.....but cake was better.
Hey Mari!  You got some left over??????