Title: Until It Sleeps (13/?)
 

I woke up to the smell of bacon frying.  I rolled over, realizing I was
alone in bed but there was a nice warm patch next to me.  Not really wanting
to move, I laid there for long minutes until suddenly, I had the wind
knocked out of me by a heavy impact to my chest.  "What the hell?"  I
half-mumbled.

Dennis grinned evilly from where he was sitting on top of me.  "Breakfast is
ready."

I dragged myself out to the kitchen, where I found eggs, bacon
toast...basically all the ingredients for me to have a heart attack.  I
loved it.  Me and Dennis sat and ate in comfortable silence.  We cleared the
dishes (we actually do know how to clean, we just choose not to most of the
time) and had loaded everything into the dishwasher, when Dennis spoke up.
"So."

I raised an eyebrow.  That's never the start of a good conversation.  "So."

Dennis took a deep breath, let it out, and met my eyes.  "I called someone."

"It's your phone too.  You are allowed to use it," I said, leaning back on
the counter.

He rolled his eyes.  "No, I mean....I called a therapist.  You know, like we
talked about..."

Oh yeah, I had forgotten about that.  "Did you just close your eyes and
point to find one?"

A slight blush crept over his cheeks.  "No, I got her name from your
brother."

Well damn.  My brother had been seeing a shrink?  "So what did this person
say when you called her?"

Dennis seemed to relax a little.  "She said she could talk to us tomorrow,
and we could work out just how we're gonna do this."  His hand slipped into
mine.  "You're still with me on this, right?"

I sighed, squeezing his hand slightly.  "Yeah, I'm with you."

***Three Weeks Later***

Fuck.  Why did I let myself get talked into this?  We've spent the longest
time talking and talking and talking, and it's like every topic is another
way I screwed up.  Which I guess is the point, but that doesn't mean I have
to like it.  And that damn doctor is good too.  She can tell if you're lying
even before you can.  I don't like that.

She's got me and Dennis coming separately for some appointments, and right
now I'm waiting for mine.  Finally, the office door opens as the previous
patient walks out.  She's tall for a woman, pretty...damn she looks
familiar....

"Maria?"  The voice of Dr. Feld comes from inside the office.  "You forgot
your keys..."

That's who it is!  That girl who grew up across the street from me...what
the hell is she doing here?  "Maria Hopkins?"

The woman turned to face me.  "Yeah...oh my God....MARK??"

Dr. Feld poked her head out of her office.  "You two know each other?"

"From a long time ago."  Maria turned to look at me.  "Look, I really have
to run right now, but I'd love to talk to you...I thought you were dead..."
She scribbled some numbers on a piece of paper and gave it to me.  "Here,
why don't you call me sometime?"

I stood there watching her as she walked out the door.  Damn girl never
changed.  Still does things in a whirlwind of motion that leaves us ordinary
folks lost.

And so I talked to Dr. Feld about my feelings on not being your typical
straight white male and why I apparently am taking my guilt about my life
out on everyone else.  But whatever.  I head home and call up Maria.  We
chat for a bit, about how no I'm not dead, no, Kane, or Glennie as she calls
him, is not dead either, that we're wrestlers, yeah I said wrestlers...yes
those big sweaty guys, and that I'm with someone.  That last part was the
hardest.

"You're significant other's name is Dennis?  Like, as in, he's a guy?"
Maria' voice was flat with shock on the other end of the phone line.

"Yeah, he's a guy.  I was a little surprised myself."  I won't mention that
I've been screwing guys since I was 13 and that the "surprise" that I could
actually like them too came about ten years back.  I thought for a moment.
"You know what?  I bet he'd like to meet you.  You wanna come over for some
food sometime?"  Oh Christ, I sound either female or very flamboyantly gay.

She sounded pleased.  "Sure, I'd love to."  We agreed on a date and then
hung up.  I looked around the house, trying to find Dennis to tell him about
the plans, but he was still at the grocery store.  So, I just sat there, for
the first time in years thinking back to the past, back before fires or
street corners.  A part of me...a very large part...still misses that.