CONTENT WARNING: memories of attempted rape

***Jericho's POV***

Waiting is highly overrated. I've been on edge for days now, and if I thought
I was having concentration problems at Raw last week, that's nothing compared
to the pathetic run-in I do today. I finally stumble into my hotel room, only
to see Hunter standing there. "Hey." he says quietly.

My throat closes. "Hi," I squeak out.

He walks up to me, standing inches away and looking like he wants to hold me
but is unsure if I'll be willing. "Chris..." He takes a deep breath.
"Whatever you have to tell me, whatever it is, I will always love you.
Nothing is gonna change that. So talk."

I sit down on the bed. "I...Hunter...." I can't get the words out, I can't
even think of how to put what happened into words. I look at him in
frustration. "I don't know how to say it." I whisper.

He sits down next to me. "You wanna write it down instead?" I looked at him
skeptically. "Hey, one of my friends used to stutter when he got real excited
or upset. Writing it down used to work with him, so it's worth a try."

He handed me a pad of paper and a pen. I looked down at the empty white sheet
of paper. This was it. Either I told him now or I lived with this inside of
me forever. Slowly, I wrote "When Benoit attacked me, he tried to rape me." I
tore off the sheet of paper, folded it up about a million times, and handed
it to Hunter before I could change my mind.

It seemed like an eternity as he unfolded it. I couldn't stand to look at
him, I kept my eyes locked on the ground. Finally, I saw the note drift
towards the ground and my heart stopped. His silence must mean he's so
humiliated with me, so embarrassed I was this weak, that he can't even speak
to me.

The weight shifts on the other side of the bed...he's getting up...he's
leaving me...after the e-mail, after telling me he wouldn't stop loving
me...he's leaving. Dimly, I hear him say "I'm gonna kill that son-of-a bitch"
but the words don't process. His footsteps echo across the room and I hear
the doorknob turn....the door open...and close. He's gone. I bring my head
down to my knees, shaking so hard that I end up sliding onto the floor,
hugging my knees to my chest. I can't even cry, I'm shivering too hard, I
can't focus on anything but the fact Hunter walked out. I really am
everything I thought....I'm tainted, I'm dirty, I let it happen again.....I
can't get beyond these thoughts.

Until I felt strong arms wrap around me and pull me to the body I've come to
know so well. "Oh God Chris, I'm sorry....I wasn't thinking, I could only
think about how much I wanted to kill Benoit..."

I manage to get my throat muscles working. "You came back," I whispered.
"Hunter..."

"Shhh..." He held me tighter, probably trying to get me to stop shaking. "I'm
so sorry...are you ok?"

I try to tell him I'm fine, to lie as always, but from somewhere inside of me
comes this tiny voice that says "No..."

His chest moves under me and I realize that he's almost in tears. "I should
have been there." he says, voice quiet but strong. "I should have protected
you."

I look up at him. "I shouldn't need you to protect me. I'm not a little kid,
I'm supposed to be able to defend myself...this is my fault, not yours..."

Suddenly, Hunter's arms lift me up and onto the bed. He kneels in front of
me, and although his breathing is shaky, his stare into my eyes is steady.
"Listen to me. What happened was not your fault. Do you understand me?" I
can't break the eye contact and finally, I nod. He closes his eyes for a
moment to collect himself, then sits down next to me. "You look tired." he
said. "You want to get some sleep?"

Actually, I was exhausted, but I knew if I didn't finish what I had to say
tonight, I wouldn't have the courage again. "I have to tell you something
else."

______________
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
-"I'll Stand By You", Pretenders