***Hunter's POV***

I heard the whine with the door to the dressing room still closed.  "Hunterrrrr......let me in...."  I sighed and opened the door, only to have Sean pretty much throw himself at me.  "Hunter!  Kane walked out on me!"

I dragged him over to the couch, making him sit down and then taking a seat next to him.  "What did you do this time?"

Sean scowled at me.  "I don't like you implying that it had to be something that I did."

"Sean," I said flatly.  "I know you too well.  What did you do?"

"Nothing!  Really!  We were just talking and he said when I was through acting childish I would know where to find him."  He sat back angrily.  "I don't see why he has to be so difficult."

I looked up at the clock.  11:30.  Damn, I had hoped to get back to the hotel with a little bit of time for me and Chris to talk, but no such luck.  "Sean, really...I'm sure he's just a little upset right now, maybe if you just give it a day....."

Sean looked at me with teary eyes.  If I didn't know better, I'd swear he was on something with how overly dramatic he's been since he and Kane got back together.  "But...but...I think he's really mad Hunter..."

I use all my self restraint to avoid hitting him or myself.  "If that's so, maybe what you two need is some time apart...some time alone.."

He bit his lower lip and widened his eyes and I was totally lost in the second-best pout ever (the best, of course, belonging to Chris.)  "Hunter, I don't want to be alone tonight.  Will you stay with me in my hotel room?"

I sighed deeply.  "Ok ok ok.  Fine.  Just let me call Chris and tell him."  I picked up the phone.  "Chris?  Hi, I'm sorry....Sean and Kane are having worse problems then I thought...and I'm worried Sean's gonna do something stupid..."

A laugh from the other end.  "Stupider than normal you mean?"

I smiled.  "Be nice.  Anyways, I'm gonna stay with him tonight, alright?   I promise I'll make it up to you tomorrow...."

Chris sighed.  "Oh. alright....have fun...love you."

"I love you too."  We hung up.  "Alright....let's go drown your sorrows or something."

***Jericho's POV***

I couldn't help but smile as I hung up the phone.  Poor Sean , he and Kane were just starting to get things to work out and now they're arguing left and right. Poor Hunter too...it's sweet how he takes care of his friends but I know he gets a little sick of it sometimes.   He's got to be tired too, he had a hard match tonight.  I know I'm tired.

I change into my boxers and curl up in bed, my last thoughts of how nice it was to be with such a nice guy.....

***

A year in a school without Alex and Roger had made Chris almost forget the way it felt to be tormented daily by taunts and shoves.  That all changed when he got to high school.  If he'd thought the difference in power between seventh and eighth graders was large, it was nothing in comparison to the difference in freshman and sophomores.  The hostility was almost officially sanctioned now, teachers and other staff conveniently turned a blind eye towards what was going on.  And it was there Alex and Roger met up with Chris again.

"Awww, willya look at that? Pansy's got himself a boyfriend!"  The sneer echoed across the cafeteria as Chris and his friend Ryan sat there eating lunch.  Chris sighed.  He had thought maybe high school would be different, maybe the people would get more mature, but they hadn't.  They had just changed their taunts from his size to his sexuality.

Ryan got up, smiling apologetically at Chris.  "I..uhm..I gotta study, ok?"

Chris waved him off and he ran, just as Alex and Roger came and sat down at the table.  "Did we interrupt your date?" Roger asked with mock concern.

"Don't you have anything better to do?"  asked Chris, rubbing his forehead to try and drive away the impending headache.

Alex smiled coldly.  "Better than picking on you?  Nope."  He leaned closer.  "Besides, we don't want your kind around here."

"My kind?" Chris was confused.  As far as he knew, he wasn't part of any kind that wasn't wanted.

"Yeah, you're a little fag."  Oh, that.  Chris was almost starting to wonder if they were right...he didn't really find himself looking at girls in a sexual way...and he had caught himself a few times thinking that Ryan was awful cute....

Roger broke him out of his thoughts by getting up.  "Lunch is almost over, let's go."  Alex followed, but not before shoving Chris's chair backward.  The blonde barely had time to react before the chair tipped and the back of his head hit the ground...

***

Well, at least I only woke myself up this time.  Slightly rattled, I run my fingers through my hair and brush past the scar that's still there, underneath my hair, from the impact of the floor.  It hadn't really seemed like a big deal at the time, but now that I look back on it, I can't help but wonder why the hell no one did anything to stop them.  But then again, they were football players who teachers loved because of their talent, and I was the skinny kid who sat in the back of the room.  Whose side did I THINK they were gonna take?

No use going over this again for the trillionth time.  I might as well try and get some more sleep.

***

“Oh look, it’s the pansy!!!”  The shout rang through the rows of empty benches and lockers.  Chris froze from where he had been getting dressed after swimming laps.  He had hoped to sneak out quietly without alerting Alex or Roger's notice, but no such luck it seemed.

His moment of hesitation cost him, as he felt himself being shoved against a locker before he realized anyone was coming.  The knob of the combination lock pushed into his bare back.  It was his own fault, he told himself.  He should have known better than to be in the room alone when he knew his “friends” would be there.  From his position holding Chris, Alex grinned menacingly.  “Did the little fairy want to stay here and check out all the nice, strong men?”

“Fuck you.” Chris tried to put as much confidence into his voice as possible, but at fifteen years old, still too short and wearing nothing but a towel, there wasn’t much.

Alex laughed, low and dark.  “No, I think I have a better idea.  Rog, why don’t you get going, I can catch a ride from someone else…me and the pansy have a few things to talk about.”

Chris knew, at that moment, something very bad was going to happen.  He wasn’t just going to get his stuff stolen, he wasn’t just going to receive a black eye…something worse was going to go on in the locker room.  Alex still had him pressed against the locker and now he leaned in close.  “Today you’re gonna learn what a real man is like.”  He abruptly let go of Chris’s shoulders, only to grab him by the arms and bend him over the bench.  The sudden movement caused Chris’s towel to fall, leaving him naked and exposed.

From behind him, Chris heard the sound of a zipper, and all his false bravery flew away.  “Please…don’t do this Alex…”

“Shut up!”  the older boy yelled.  “You like taking it in the ass?”  Chris violently shook his head.    “Don’t lie to me!” Chris tried to say something, anything that could possibly stop the inevitable, but his throat was closed with fear.  There was a slight rustle of Alex taking off his pants and then…

It was probably the most excruciating pain Chris had ever experienced.  Alex was thrusting into him with no preparation, no concern for the fact Chris was much smaller and had never done this before…all Chris could do was weakly whimper in pain and terror as he was split open…

And then, fluid rushing into him, and Chris would years later realize that he had made a supposedly straight man come, but at the time it was just one more thing that hurt him.  As he lay there and sobbed, Alex zipped up his pants.  “Let’s see how much you like it now.” he said quietly but firmly, and left.

***

I wake up screaming and automatically, I look for Hunter, praying for him to be there, needing him…but then it clicked, he was with Sean, trying to get him acting like a normal person again, and I’m here alone.  For a few long moments, I was powerless to do anything besides cower in the bed, until finally I got a hold on myself and stumbled into the bathroom.  I looked at myself in the mirror and was almost sick.  I haven't changed…fifteen years have gone by and I’m still the same pathetic kid I was then…I’m still a coward, still unable to stand up for myself…look at me, I’m half out of my mind because my boyfriend isn’t here to hold me after a nightmare.
 
I consider punching through the mirror, but I did that before…after it happened…and all it really accomplishes is making a mess and causing you to bleed all over the place…I hate blood on the floor, I always have, ever since I looked down at the floor of the locker room and saw blood running down my legs onto the floor…

I’m going to be sick.  And I am.  And then there’s a voice above me, saying “Did you have too much to drink?”  Before I can answer, a cup of cold water is pressed into my hand and I take a sip, looking up.  Hunter smiles tiredly at me.  “I finally got Sean to go to sleep, and Jesse's with him...and obviously, you decided to have some fun without me.”

Oh God, he just thinks I’m hung over…I don’t have to explain why I’m vomiting at three in the morning…I rest my head against Hunter’s legs, even if I can’t tell him what happened, I just need to touch him, to know he’s there…

I get better than that.  With a sigh of “you’re really out of it, aren’t you?”, Hunter bends down and lifts me up into his arm like a baby.  He carries me over to the bed and lays me down.  He gets in next to me and I curl up against him.  “Are you sure you’re ok?” he asks me.

I nod, my head against his chest, but inside I want to scream that I’m not ok, that to tell the truth I haven’t really been ok since I was twelve and I walked into the middle school, that I don’t know how to forget or move past or do whatever I need to do to make this stop hurting…. but I don’t.  I just go back to sleep, praying that the dream won't come again.
______________________
All you can do now is lay on the floor in a fragile and delicate mess,
Your dream world is no longer full of beauty and elegance.
You're broken, strange how one word can sum up your emotions so well,
For once in your life you didn't do exactly what they wanted and you fell.
-"Washed Out", by Danielle