* * *
‘This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. My time on this earth is almost over. I can feel the end drawing dangerously near. I was never going to tell you, ok maybe not never, but I wasn’t going to do it in this way. I was going to, I don’t know wine and dine you or just wait until the right moment. But I don’t think that moment will ever come. You see my cancer is getting worse and soon it will consume me, so I must confess what I have to say before it’s too late.

First I must say thank you. Thank you for a wonderful, heartwarming and at times frustrating 4-year partnership. At first you suspected me. I was sent to debunk your crazy theories and you knew it, but yet you began to open up and to trust me. And for that I thank you. Because in this short time we’ve been together, you have been the only one I ever trusted. I may have lost a father and a sister and may never find my answers, but I hope some day you do. For your loss and pain is much greater than mine, because now you are losing me. I can no longer deny it anymore-I am dying. We are losing each other; no more casual innuendoes, no more heartfelt touches, no more knowing looks, no more connected thoughts, and no more X-files. Sad to say, but you will have to carry on your search for the truth without me. My body can no longer deal with the strain. It’s similar to Evita, where her body finally gave out but her spirit never did. And my spirit won’t ever give out either. I will always be with you, helping you fight side by side, maybe not physically, but emotionally and mentally. The bond we’ve forged over 4 years can never be broken, not even by my death.

But what is this bond? Is it truth? Or is it something more? I believe it’s something more. I’ve been putting up walls for 4 years, pushing you away when I wanted to run to you and shutting you out when I most needed you. I feel you’ve been doing the same -- ditching me when you think I can’t handle it and putting on that mask, so I can never see the truth that lies deep in your heart. I’ve suppressed my feelings for long enough. It is time for them to surface, before my end comes, which is soon. I can feel it. I wish I had more time with you. I wish I had told you sooner. Then maybe we could have shared ‘that’ kind of life. But now, I will no longer deny it. I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I first walked into the basement and shook your hand. Once I saw that handsome face behind those lenses with the beautiful hazel eyes that speak volumes, I knew I was gone. I love feeling your hand at the small of my back when you guide me through a door, or the gentle touch of your hand on my arm as a way of saying “I’m here.” The kiss on the forehead after I found out my horrible secret gave me hope, but yet my stubborn will and strong mind forced me to push my feelings away. ‘Stay professional,’ they said. So I listened.

But I’m tired of listening. I want you to know that I can’t leave this world without telling you the truth, that I have loved you and wanted to be loved by you since the moment I saw you. And I know that you feel the same way. I can see it in your eyes when you think I’m not looking. Or when we look at each other and read one another’s minds or seal it with a look, I know what you’re thinking. That’s because of the special bond we have. A special bond that ties us together-one soul forever bound for eternity, always. It can never be broken, not even by this obstacle.

My time is drawing near, I must finish what I have started. I know that one day we will be together again, and I look forward to that day. Please don’t mourn for me, I couldn’t bear to see you cry. I know how much pain you’ve gone through and that’s why this is so hard. But never give up -- continue your search -- THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE -- and soon you will find it. I wish with all my heart that I could be with you to aid in your search but alas I cannot. So my heart and my spirit are with you and they always will be.

I am giving you my gold cross. It protected you when I was taken, and it will protect you now after I am gone. Please wear it in good health and when you touch it, think of me. Because you know, ‘when you think of the dead, the dead can hear your thoughts.’ I know what you’re thinking, me, the skeptic, saying something like that. But it’s true and I do believe it. So think of me often and always remember that I loved you always, even though I never said it. Now I wish I had. Continue on your journey to seek the truth and always remember that you are loved and you were loved by me, Dana Katherine Scully. Now, I will not say goodbye, because I know we’ll meet again someday.’

Fresh tears shattered the paper, joining the ones left by Dana, as Fox Mulder read and reread Dana’s last words. Rather than screaming or crying out, he calmly opened the small white box and took out the gold cross she had left. He held it to his heart and said,“I love you too Dana. I always have and I always will.” With that he closed the letter and hung the cross around his neck. It would protect him just like she had said, because it was as if she was his guardian angel watching over him, even in death, just as she had done in life. A beautiful, young, fragile angel.“We’ll be together again, someday, my dear Dana. I know it in my heart.” And with that, Mulder fell into a peaceful sleep, oddly enough without any nightmares.

Dana smiled. She knew her Mulder was protected and that nothing could ever break their bond. She’d see to it, no matter what the cost. She had promised him, she’d be there and she would, maybe not ‘her’ physical but ‘her’ spirit and ‘her’ heart would always be with him. He was a part of her and she was a part of him, always. And that could never be shattered.

Well? Send all feedback to dlphnfan@hotmail.com. Hope it didn’t tug at too many heartstrings! No flames, please, I’m not akin to them! TB