@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@ Monday, June 23rd, 1997 @==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@ A RATPACKER SQUEAKS (1/1) By Michelle David, invaluable assistance by Julia Kocich Time: After 'Family Values Preserved', before 'An Explosive Ratsie Interlude'. Toronto. The city of crime, scum, and a spankin' good souvlaki. Where men were men, women were women, and vampires were vampires, except for one blond 800 year old vampire, who really wanted to be only a man again. And of course out of all of the glamorous places, Michelle was in the sewers. Sighing, she applied some of the wintergreen gel she had palmed off of a Natpacker to under her nose and raised the collar of her blouse to her nose. Ugh. The first sign that Tracy had no instinct for suvival, she decided, was that she had come down here in Fever, even after complaining about the totally valid safety hazards in Black Buddha. Ugh. And what did this trip say about her own survival instincts, she wondered. A light in the distance cheered her up. She had spoken to Libby earlier, and the woman had gladly agreed to meet her. Michelle adjusted the bag of chocolate she carried on her arm and plunged onward. "'ey there, 'shelly-welly!" cried out a hearty voice, heavy with a Cockney accent. Crying out, Michelle spun around and stared at Libby with surprise. The bag fell open and the chocolate coins, wrapped in gold foil, rained like manna from another TV show onto the ground. Libby cried out happily and began to pick them up. "Falafel, you scared me," Michelle breathed, panting heavily and trying to ignore the stench. She picked the bag back off the ground, and picked some of the coins off the ground, jumping slightly as beady eyes peered at her from the shadows. "All of those rats around here and all." "Well, 'shelly girl, consider it a fava'. You types are awful scared of them ratsies. Don' know why, they're as good as you 'n me, but whatever." The coins safely secure in her arms and apron of her oversized shirt, Libby marched over to the Merc basement through a door. Michelle ran after Libby, panting to keep up. She was a fast runner, but the smells from the sewer didn't exactly enhance her athletic ability. "Yo, Libby, wait up." She followed Libby into Ratpack HQ. "'ere now, have a seat," Libby invited her, setting the hundreds of chocolate coins down into a neat pile. She sat down cross-legged on the floor and meticulously began to open the first coin. "Issa good thin' Johnny-boy is gone, e'd 'ave snapped 'ese up like nothin," she said, popping the unwrapped coin into her mouth. Cheered by the sugar, she turned to Michelle, who was warily sitting on the cot, eyeing the many symbols of Ratpackerdom in the room which was, excepting the cache of chocolates on the floor, strangely tidy. Most likely, she decided, the Ratpacker's posessions were safely secure in various nooks and crannies of the room. "So, wasso important, 'shelly-girl?" "Well," Michelle began hesitantly, "one of the UFers, Kelly, was set up by someone. They posted 81 pages of *bad* porn all about Toronto. Since you're always walking around, I figured you might know something about it. And since you're also a Merc, that's why I brought all those chocolates." She looked at Libby expectantly. "Did you see anything?" Libby concentrated for a moment. "Can't 'member. Need me in-spi-rat-shun." She lifted up her shirt. Michelle blanched. "Um, Libby, I don't-" She breathed a sigh of relief as Libby painfully removed a large book strapped to her tummy and secured in a plastic bag. "'old on, shelly-girl," she said, opening the book. She carefully perused it for a moment. "'em Nunkies Addict types," she muttered softly. "All addicts, the 'ole lot of 'em. 'cepting me, of course." She carefully replaced the book in the bag and onto her stomach. "Can't 'member," she declared. She then concentrated. "Ooh, wait. 'ere we go. 'ere were some girlies runnin' round 'bout here. Wi' a bunch of papers, and some tape. Didn't get a look at them papers meself." "Did you catch a name?" Michelle asked excitedly. "Yeah. Caught one of 'em. One of 'em who follows the great de-fect, Nicky-boy. Lady Vicsta, that's 'er name." "Lady Vicsta," Michelle muttered to herself. "Lady Vicsta... Vickie?" she asked aloud. She'd have to check the player-by-faction list, she realized. "'ay, that's it. Good one." Libby nodded enthusiastically. "Did you get anything else? There were three of them, right? Do you know any of the others?" Libby shook her head. Michelle sighed. "Thanks anyway. Enjoy your coins." she thought to herself. "Bye. Have fun eating." "Aye!" Libby called, her mouth full, leaving Michelle to brave the Toronto sewers by herself. Where men were men, women were women, and carouches made great spies. @==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@ LACROIX RECONSIDERS (1/1) By Leslie GrantSmith, Unnamed, with thanks to Julia Kocich and April Hackett Set after "Laundry By Any Other Name" "Look, Lacroix, I'm exhausted and-" "If you *ate* properly," Lacroix growled, "you wouldn't-" Nick interrupted in turn. "I *don't* want to talk about it anymore." He took a deep breath. "I know we have to ... resolve this. But I *am* tired. So are you. That doesn't help either of our tempers. "You said..." With an audible sigh, Nick paused then continued with a smile. "You said we had all the time in the world. Surely there's room for a nap in there somewhere." Lacroix studied the backs of his hands a moment, then looked up at Nick, smiling slightly. "All right. It is simply that I do not understand your ... qualms in this matter. I'm not asking you to ... hunt again. Just to sustain yourself the way you should. With human blood. Not that ... slop." He reined back his rising sharpness, and said more lightly, "I'm speaking of simple biology here, Nicholas, not attempting to engage in a debate on ethics." "It *isn't* that simple, Lacroix," Nick replied, feeling his anger trying to rise at the old argument. Taking a firm hold of his irritation and his fatigue, he reached for the doorknob and looked over his shoulder. "And I'm too tired to say what I think and feel clearly. I'm going to sleep. Why don't you get some rest as well? You can use that room you used yesterday." He waved his free hand vaguely. "Or whenever that was." Lacroix rose from his armchair. "Yes. Maybe a shower first. I brought a clean change of clothing from the hotel." "Why don't you just move in, Lacroix?" Nick suggested, opening the door to the library. "You've been spending most of your time here anyway." The sound of laughter rose from the bar at the other end of the house, filled with that wicked timbre of women planning to do something they shouldn't. Lacroix and Nick shared a glance. "It's all that pitter-patter of little mortal feet, Nicholas. And..." He leaned closer to whisper, "...pink shirts." Lacroix smiled with mischief as Nick shuddered, remembering his alarm that he had been tracked by the Evil Pink Shirt. "So I may need a place to which to flee. Although ... I believe more than one of them has designs on my virtue. Not to mention yours." "Oh, like you mind," said Nick, grinning broadly as they walked down the hall to his room. At that point, one of the bedroom doors opened and Sukh and Jennifer emerged, Sukh saying, "I swear, if he *had* been wearing the red serge, I *would* have brought that Mountie home." Jennifer giggled. "Draped unconscious over your saddle, no doubt." "Oh, man, don't give me ide-" At that, Sukh, turning to close the door to the bedroom, spotted the two vampires, who had stopped to avoid running into them. She froze a second, causing Jennifer to turn and see what she was staring at. "Hi, Nick, Lacroix," Sukh managed a bit breathlessly. "Is everything all right? Can we get you anything?" "Everything is fine," replied Nick. "We're taking a break. And you two are looking especially nice. Going out?" Jennifer and Sukh glanced down at themselves, at the outfits they had put together for a night on the town, stylish, sleek, and cut rather low in the bodices. They looked back up into the appreciative gazes of the two vampires and both began to flush. Their blushing flustered them further, and the pink spread from their cheeks, over their throats and lower. The men's eyes followed the glowing rosy tint, down, down... "'Scuse me," squeaked Jennifer, and she pushed the mind-locked Sukh back into the bedroom. Brows lifted, Lacroix turned to gaze at the grinning Nick. "I'll take your suggestion under advisement, Nicholas. It does appear there are ... compensations." His eyes shifted to the door the two women had just vanished behind and his tongue emerged a moment to lightly touch his upper lip. @==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@ Tuesday, June 24th, 1997 @==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@ CONTACT MADE (1/1) by April Hackett, Unnamed, with help from Laurie Schlagel Time: shortly after "Making Contact" "April, there's someone on the phone for you," sang through the house. "Okay, thanks," April yelled back as she hurried to the phone. "Hello?" "April?" "Yeah? How can I help you?" "Meet me outside the Hive in 10 minutes," the low voice stated firmly. "Meet you?! Who *is* this?" April demanded to know. "Can't talk now. Just meet me out by the road." The voice had dropped to a near whisper before hanging up. April thought as she hurried through the kitchen, heading for the pantry. She grabbed a small backpack from one of the back shelves. She had prepared it earlier, realizing that the mercs would demand payment for talking, much less writing anything. April checked inside, insured that the 30 one pound bars of Cadbury's chocolate was still inside as well as the flyers. "I hope that will be enough," she muttered before slinging the shoulder strap over one shoulder. 5 minutes left. "Damn," April muttered as she rushed through the house. She saw Jennifer coming down the stairs. "Jennifer, I have to go out. I'm going to meet my Merc contact now. Let the others know, okay?" April yelled as she stormed through the front door. "April.... wait...!!!" Jen yelled, but by the time she made it to the door, the darkness had swallowed April up. "Leslie!!! Sukh!!" Jen started yelling, worried. Then after a moment of thought, Jen yelled, "Nick!!!" =\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\ April ran down the long drive in front of the house until she arrived, panting, at the curb. She looked up and down the street, but no traffic was visible. Glancing at her watch, she saw that it was the time that the voice had insisted on. Suddenly, a blue, windowless van screeched up next to her, with it's running light out. Stepping back in surprise, April subconsciously noted the van's color was similar to the twinkling blue of Nick's eyes. She leaned over to peer into the passenger window and saw her friend, Laurie. When she saw her motioning toward the gliding door on the side, April reached over and opened it. "Come on, April. We don't have much time!" Laurie declared, glancing in her rear view mirror. "Why, what's going on?" April asked, concerned. "You want to go to Merc Central, don't you?" Laurie asked, getting impatient that she couldn't get her cautious passenger to co-operate. "Yes, but what does..?" "Then get in! We have to hurry," Laurie insisted, looking in the mirror again. "All right," April replied, climbing in and shutting the door behind her. Laurie pulled back onto the road with a hail of pebbles and her tires squalling. "Hey!" April declared as she was thrown to the floor of the van by the sudden motion. "Just stay there, April. It'll be safer," Laurie said, glancing over her shoulder as her friend. "What do you mean, *stay there*. Laurie, I don't want to lay on the floor of your van!! It smells like fish!!" "Have to. I can't let you know where Merc Central is," Laurie replied firmly as she weaved through the light traffic in front of her. Whipping the van into a sharp left turn, she stumped on the brake and quickly threw it into park. "Whoa, Laurie! Where's the fire?" April asked, as she tried to brace against anything available when the van suddenly changed direction. Looking up, April exclaimed, "What??!!!" as a blindfold was swiftly fastened around her head. "Is this really necessary?" "'Fraid so. It's standard procedure for all visitors to Merc Central," Laurie said as she made sure the blindfold was securely in place. Satisfied, she moved back to the driver's seat and threw the transmission into drive with another shower of gravel and screeching tires. "This is what I get for volunteering," April mumbled to herself as she grabbed for any kind of support as the van became a carnival ride. =\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\ "We need to come to an agreement of payment before we get there," Laurie said as she steered around another vehicle on the road. "Yes, I agree," April growled as she bounced against the wall of the van. "I want 20 pounds of chocolate for making all the arrangements, plus 5 pounds per signature," Laurie stated, jerking the van to the right. "Damn slow drivers," she muttered. "Ouch!" April yelled as she bounced against something laying in the van. "Out of the question!" April yelled back. "5 pounds for you and 1/2 pound per signature." "No good enough," Laurie declared, jerking the van to the left again. "15 pounds for me and 3 pounds per signature." "Damn it, Laurie, what are you doing up there? Practicing for the Indy 500?" April exclaimed as she banged her head on the wall of the van again. "8 pounds for you and 2 pound per signature. That's my best offer!" April snarled as she was thrown to the right again. Noticing the empty road in front of her, Laurie grinned wickedly and jerked the van to the left anyway. At the muffled curse that floated up from the back of the van, she grinned, then nodded her head and said, "Agreed, but only if I get the first copy of that flashback tape you're working on. Now, hold on, we're almost there!" "What do you think I've been doing?" shot back to her as she slid the van into a tight corner and slowed down. "And you can have the second copy. I'm keeping the first." Making a careful right turn, Laurie threw the van into park and leaned back to look at her friend, who was braced between the seat and the wall. "You can let go now, April. We're here," Laurie said, moving to help her friend up. "Remind me never to ride on the floor with you driving again," April remarked as she pulled the blindfold off her head. Or tried to anyway. "What did you do? Tie this thing around my ponytail?" she asked, when the blindfold wouldn't come off. "Let me," Laurie replied, and smiled as she walked behind April. "Why do you gals have to have such long hair?!" she asked as she undid the blindfold's knot where it was wrapped in April's long hair. "Short hair is much more convenient." "Convenient, yes. Preferred, ouch, no," April retorted as the blindfold finally came off. "Come on. I'm not sure how many will be here, but you should get at least five signatures from this bargain." "At least the price doesn't include whipped cream," April muttered as she climbed out of the van. @==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@ BAD, BAD CAT (1/1) by Jennifer Brown Thanks to Leslie GrantSmith for her valuable help. This story takes place after "LaCroix Reconsiders." A loud bellow echoed through the Hive. Several people in the kitchen looked up and grinned. "Five bucks your cat got into the shower with someone, Jennifer," Maus said cheerfully, looking up from her computer, cracking her fingers. "Do ya want that in Monopoly or Canadian Tire money?" Jennifer replied good naturedly, looking up from "1001 and 1 Things To Do With Honey. "Hey, how does deep fried honey buttered shrimp sound?" "That stupid cat of yours," muttered Jules, glaring at her. Leslie nodded in agreement, her mouth full of Honey Nut Cornflakes. She almost had a heart attck when Terror jumped in with her. She'd become a little jump since LaCroix had begun spending so much time at the Hive. "Hey listen, I warned you people to make that the bathroom doors are close if you're having a shower. It's not my fault he likes the water," Jennifer said defending her cat. Terror had visited almost every single ULFer since he arrived at the Hive. Some like Sukh thought it was cute while others like Jules had threatened to feed Terror to Perry. They could hear the footsteps getting louder and louder, coming towards the kitchen. "I bet it's Julia," said Susan, grabbing some toast. "No way," countered Laurey. "Listen to the foot falls. Heavy like a man's. It's gotta be Toby." The door flew open. Standing in the door was LaCroix, holding the dangling Terror by the ruff of the neck. Droplets of water from his shower still sparkled across the broad, marble white shoulders, clung to the hair curling gently across his chest, the fuzz that narrowed down the center of his slender torso, disappearing under the towel cinched around his waist... Leslie sprayed cereal everywhere. Maus and Sukh beagn to drool. Jules just stared. Susan and Laurey started to hyperventilate. Jennifer stopped breathing. Ice blue eyes, sparking ominously with gold, stared around the room until they rested on Jennifer. She gave a loud gulp. "Is this your cat?" he hissed, holding Terror. Jennifer swallowed several times, trying to get her lungs to work. "Ye-yes," she gasped, staring at his chest. Susan began to pound Laurey on the back. He leaned over, giving the entire group a spectacular view of his butt. Leslie fainted face first into her cereal, Sukh and Maus drooled harder. Jules still stared. Laurey started to pound Susan on the back. Jennifer stopped breathing. "If he ever gets into the shower with me again, I will have him as a snack. Do you understand?" he hissed, flashing his ivory fangs. Jennifer nodded weakly, accepting her cat. LaCroix marched out of the room, his misapprehension about spending much time around these mortals confirmed. He was completely oblivious to the effect he'd had on the ULfers. Sukh and Maus collasped in a puddle of drool. Jules pulled Leslie out of her cereal. Susan and Laurey were too shocked to move. "Bad, bad cat," Jennifer whispered, stroking Terror's head. "How many times have I told you not to do that?" It took another 30 seconds before she could move. She got up and opened the fridge and took out a package of jumbo shrimp. She gave him one. "Bad, bad cat." Another shrimp. "Bad, bad, *bad* cat, " scolded the rest of the group. @==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@ FOREVER RUBBER DUCKY (1/1) By Michelle David, Unnamed Takes Place: Anytime during the evening (natch!) If you don't get the reason for the gifts... you're lucky "BJ... there's a package for you..." a NNPacker sang, stopping by BJ's room. "Oh... um, here, I'll take it. Who's it from?" she asked, inspecting the plain brown wrapping. The NNPacker shrugged. "I asked a passing Nick, he said he didn't see anything." "Well, thanks." "Okay." BJ set the package down on her desk, examining it warily. , she thought guardedly to herself. She ran a hesitant hand along the sides, listening carefully for any tick tocking. She became worried, visions of cows, Stallone, and gingerbread men in her mind. Warily, she slid one finger into a seam, pulling it up. To her surprise, it was loosely secured, and the edge popped up. BJ opened the other edge, and opened the top fold. Underneath was... Another box. However, this one was vastly different from its outer covering in one respect; it was wrapped in wrapping paper. And the wrapping paper was baby blue. And it had yellow rubber duckies on it. The duckies were wearing little sailors caps, and cartoon bubbles next to each one said 'Quack quack!' Truly, it was a sight only for the most ardent ducky fans. BJ wrinkled her eyebrows, and said aloud, "What is this?" She was of course a serious ducky fan, for reasons obvious to anyone who hung out on the NNP loop. Her collection of stories about Don the Duck had gone past the 25 mark... Her curiosity aroused, she quickly unwrapped the next layer, not thinking of any attacks. Underneath the wrapper was... Another box. Sighing, she opened the lid, and looked in at the wrapping peanuts. She saw a small patch of yellow shining radiantly through, and stuck her hand in, and pulled it out to reveal... A rubber duckie. Incredulous, she squeezed it a few times, hearing the high pitched squeaks. She examined it more closely. Engraved on its beak was 'Donny the Ducky'. A large patch of duct tape was stuck on its left wing. "Weeeiiiirrrddd..." she muttered. Who outside of the 'pack would have sent it to her? Looking back into the packing, she rummaged around some more, to find... A bottle of Offical Sesame Street [tm] Rubber Ducky Bath Bubble Fun. It was shaped like a duck, and the cork was on its tail. On its label, a bubble-covered Ernie and his rubber ducky sang along to the famous song, the notes dancing along the entire length of the Anatidae creature. She noticed a note on the bottom of the peanuts. Inquisitive, she reached in and took it out. It was written on Ducky Stationary; regular paper with light rubber duckies in the watermark. The note read: Dear BJ, With the way the universe is these days... day... evening... whatever, the chances of coming across a SKF-worthy Nick are great. Here's a gift to you from a fan, in hopes that you'll find a use for the rubber ducky and bath bubbles stranger than your fiction. (Can't help you with the Souvlaki Sauce, tho.) Have fun! -A UFfish NNP Lurker @==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@ End Part 6, 23-24. Continued in Part 7, 25-26