To those of you who've never heard of them, fat admirers--those with a decided preference for the extremely voluptuous female form--are generally referred to, with great affection, as "FA's."
In the gay (male) community, men who prefer fat men are referred to as "Chubby Chasers."
Unfortunately, there does not yet exist a definitive label for women who prefer fat women, though I've had some interesting suggestions, including: "Wise Warrior Women" and "Women-who-know-a-good-thing-when-they-see-it." ;-)) (Thanks, Jills and Mary!)
There are also women who prefer fat men.
My personal view is that ALL people who exhibit a preference for those of us with decidedly more meat on our bones are ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL, and I thank God/Goddess/Highest Power of Goodness and Light that they exist.
I do not understand fat women who disdain FA's because they think they are "only interested in them for their bodies!" For decades, they've been collectively complaining that no one wants them because they're fat, and when they at last discover a race of higher beings ;-)) who think them lovely in their adiposity, they criticize them for being shallow!
In any relationship, regardless of size, basic chemical and sexual attraction to some aspect of a person's appearance is going to be a factor. This does not mean it is the only reason a particular FA or Chubby Chaser or Wise Warrior Woman is attracted to you. Relationships,obviously, must also balance on emotional, spiritual, and intellectual levels.
Nevertheless, I can tell you from experience that it is virtually impossible to have a fully satisfying relationship with a man or woman who has a preference for a physical type that varies drastically from your own. Getting involved with such a person will only make you--and your partner--miserable, as you inevitably lose self-esteem day-by-day, knowing that you are not your lover's ideal. You may even (God/Goddess forbid) try dieting or plastic surgery in your efforts to please your partner.
Everyone has preferences. Some prefer blondes, some redheads, some brunettes. There are height and weight preferences, racial preferences, and even specific shape preferences (such as "hourglass shape," "pear shape," "apple shape," and/or "extremely buxom!").
Personally, I am grateful for our diversity. What a boring world it would be if we all looked alike!
As Dennis Miller is fond of saying, "Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong."
So, to all of you FA's and Women-who-know-a-good-thing-when-they-see-it, I just wanted to let you know that this BBW totally appreciates you, and is thoroughly grateful for your existence.
This is a very controversial area in the size-acceptance movement, and even serious fat-activists often draw the line at this kind of relationship. For those of you who are unaware of this aspect of BBW/FA relationships, a FEEDER is a person who enjoys encouraging and/or helping another person to gain weight. A FEEDEE is a person who enjoys gaining weight, especially when assisted by a feeder, and in the context of a sensual and/or sexual relationship. Many accusations have been made that feeders are no better than people who insist their mates be thin. Some have claimed they are sadistic people who simply want to take their partner to immobility and then leave them. As a feedee, I feel that I should set the record straight on this issue, or at least present my side of things.
I have fantasized about being very large since childhood (though I conformed to societal pressures and was a size 12 most of my life). The erotic aspect to weight gain has nothing to do with my becoming what any man or woman wants me to be! That is what hardly anyone understands about those of us with this unusual predilection. It is something I, personally, am extremely turned on by. My favortie sexual fantasy is to be grown to such enormous proportions that I am over a thousand pounds and can barely move.
The majority of my life I was a slave to diet pills and dozens of weight loss schemes which only made me fatter, but without it being fun! As someone who is highly intelligent (Mensa member), I am well aware of my limits, and know how much more I can safely gain. Though I may never attain my fantasy weight in "real life," it is exceptionally erotic to contemplate! I have come to the conclusion that I was born this way--with this unusual desire, which probably was encoded somewhere in my genetic memory under the heading "Earth Mother/Goddess. Someone who wasn't born this way--with the desire to either be one or grow one--will NEVER understand. Thank Goodness there ARE a handful of us who were ingrained with the same unusual fantasy--I used to think I was the only one.
I think another thing that is misunderstood is that this practice needs to be consensual on the part of BOTH persons, and most people think it is usually one-sided, which is generally not the case. I would NEVER recommend that a woman attempt to gain weight for her partner if it were not also her deepest desire.
Being a feeder or feedee is not really a CHOICE, any more than one's sexual orientation is a choice. One can deny it or attempt to ignore it, but who one really is doesn't just go away. Being a feedee at heart is simply something I AM and always have been. It does not mean that I'm not happy with my weight where it is currently or that my partner must be into my gaining any more weight, though I wouldn't necessarily object. ;-)) I can be just as content FANTASIZING about being larger if I am with someone who isn't into my getting a fatter.
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Betsy is a member of the Feeding Ring Click for the |
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