Introduction

Below you'll find my Korea journal. I originally intended to make this a sort of static page, but as in my life, nothing can be truly static or fixed. I wanted, though to present this page as a sort of sequential kind of thing because I think that to view the changes over a nearly two year period will make for an interesting read (at least it has been for me). Therefore, most of the information that was on this page has not been changed much, other than to give some idea where it fell in the history of my stay in Korea. Note, also, that the entries are worded in the present tense, they were after all written as I was experiencing life in Korea. Enjoy your tour of my Korea (as opposed to one seen through someone else's eyes) and as always comments, advice, corrections, whatever, are greatly appreciated.

Korea

In 1997, late December to be exact, I came to South Korea to teach conversational English. I had been to Korea in 1989 and enjoyed it so much that I decided to come back for a year or two. This move was probably one of the smartest things I have done in a long time, as my stay here has been even better than I expected it to be.

This picture is actually from the last time I was here and is of Itaewon, or the tourist area in Seoul. It is near the U.S. Army post at Yongsan and is very popular among the soldiers. This street is where most of the shops are clustered and about six blocks down from this point is a cross street that leads to the many bars (hence its popularity with the soldiers). I have visited the area twice since returning to Korea, but have found the once irresistible pull of Itaewon easier to ignore. At the time I thought Itaewon was typical main street Korea; I have since discovered its more like main street America than Korea.

Interestingly, the last time I was in Korea we, as soldiers, often joked how the Korean soldiers we worked with smelled like Kimche when we exercised together. On visiting Itaewon after having lived in Korea for a year or so and eating like a Korean I couldn't help but notice that all of the Americans around me in Itaewon smelled like hamburger grease. Not only that, but I found myself avoiding groups of American soldiers because they seemed threatening and noisy. It's amazing how perceptions change, isn't it?

This time around I am farther South and am about an hour from two major cities, Taejon and Chongju. These two cities have given me more of a taste of the true spirit of Korea than Itaewon could. Though these two cities are still very commercial, with more neon than I have seen in my whole life often clustered on one street, the way business is conducted is very different. As in any other major cities I have been to, the merchants here simply want to separate you from your money, however this is done with a degree of courtesy I have rarely seen in America. What impresses me most are the little things people do that let you know that they really do appreciate your business. For example when giving a merchant money, and when change is received, the money is held in both hands by both people, a gesture that means that you have each others undivided attention and therefore each other's respect. This gesture is just the most obvious one, but this sense of respect carries throughout a visit to a restaraunt or store.

In my adventure I have had to take some bad with the good, of course. For instance, South Korea has a very severe pollution problem. I expected the smog in Seoul when I arrived; but what I did not expect was to see it nearly as thick in the farm community where I now live. The picture on the right is one I took on a trip to the coast and the smog seen in this picture is actually a bit less than I see daily. It is not unusual to see just the outline of a mountain in the distance, kind of a ghost of a mountain. That smog is, for the most part, caused by a steady stream of traffic on every available road space in Korea. When I was here in 1989 I became accustomed to driving a large truck on the freeway at high rates of speed with cars dangerously close behind and in front of me. Its worse now (they're usually buses). Probably the most amazing is that the flow of traffic outside my bedroom window never ceases, and I live on a side street.

I also didn't expect to end up in Korea during a time of economic crisis. Since just about a month before my arrival the Korean Government has been fighting to keep their economy from crashing. Prices for most things have doubled, in some cases tripled. Teaching is a fairly high paying job in Korea, so I'm not starving, but I'm not as rich as I expected to be either.

My Home Away from Home

Fortunately, When I first arrived here I had a nice place to live with good people here in Korea. My employer's family owns a restaurant in nearby Wannam, and I lived in an upstairs apartment (far right, second floor in the picture) until getting married here (more on that later). Koreans often combine their workplace with their living space and it is not uncommon to see children milling around the apartment door adjacent to the business. In my case, there are seven others who also live at the restaurant, consisting of three generations of the Park family. It is also common for families to share a living/sleeping area in a single apartment (I have a western style room with its own bathroom). One of the things I have always liked about living abroad is learning to live in new ways, and my accommodations here were no different. As I said, my room was western style, but it was not exactly what you would expect in an apartment in America. It is a basic room with a bed, wardrobe, and a small dresser that is set low to the ground, as most furniture is in Korea. Many westerners complain about how low everything is here, that they have to stoop over to get to anything. The secret is that you must learn to live more like your hosts; Koreans squat down, sitting on their heels, when they wish to get something or even just to rest. This squatting position wasn't difficult for me once my legs limbered up a bit (of course a few years of practicing yoga didn't hurt either).

My hosts were very gracious, despite the fact that I came to live in their home speaking very little Korean and that they had idea what kind of person I was. This is very significant here, as many Koreans think of Chicago gangsters and L.A. drug dealers when they think of America. It took a large leap of faith for me to come here, and an even larger one for them to welcome me into their home. Of course one of Hisuk's (Mom) main concerns was what to feed a large American like me, and she has been very concerned about my drastic weight loss since my arrival. She seemed very relieved when I explained that I was used to eating Korean food and that I would prefer to eat what they eat. I have yet to be able to convince her that the ten Kilograms (about 20 pounds) that I have lost is a good thing, because here a well fed man is a successful man, and "are you hungry?" rates second only to "are you married?"

Having Fun

Part of coming to Korea was to explore the country more than I had on my previous visit. I am definitely doing that. I have been to quite a few very impressive temples, the beach in Kangnung a couple of times, more museums than I can count, and to a few really interesting cities. I've only been here a short time though, I figure within a year or two more I can have the whole peninsula mapped. To see pictures of some of these places check out the Temples and Monuments page. Also, many of the banners and menus on this site spotlight some of the artifacts from these sites.

In addition to traveling I spent a lot of quality time with my girlfriend. Shortly after arriving I began dating Bong Sun (Sunny), who just happens to be my boss (yeah, I know, its supposed to be a bad thing). Not only is Sunny beautiful, but she is also very intelligent and we share a lot of the same interests. She attended a year of college in Australia to learn English, then returned to Korea to obtain her art degree. Now she owns SEL Foreign Language Institute and we teach conversational English to children and adults. I think what I like most about her though is that she is one of the few people I have met that thinks like me and understands me. I am quite an eclectic person, and easily adapted to new situations, mostly because I like a bit of randomness in my life. In naming the institute, Sunny picked the name SEL for no real reason, in other words the letters mean nothing, and when she told me that I was absolutely thrilled. Not everything in life has to have a meaning, right?

I jokingly threatened to put a page on my web site dedicated to Sunny. The funny thing is that she likes the idea; yes, she knows she's beautiful. I bought a digital camera shortly after arriving here and though it has taken a lot of pictures around Korea, there have been just as many taken of Sunny. The camera lens is embedded in a swivelling head so that the person using the camera can take a picture of themselves, which Sunny has done on many occasions yielding some of the best photos of her.

Our relationship has been fairly relaxed and very fun. I, for one, have not had the best relationships in the past, and this one has been a very healing experience for me. I must say that this is the first time that I have had a relationship approaching what I would consider normal.

Dating a Korean has not been without its cultural complications, though, and I would not recommend it for people who do not like change. This is a very patriarchal society and what the family thinks of you is very important. Mixed relationships are nearly impossible here and prejudices are high. One of two things have to happen, either the American has to become so enculturated that Koreans forget he or she is American, or the couple has to find somewhere else to live. The first option takes years, and few have mastered it, as our cultures are very different. What this does is add a sort of non permanent feeling to the relationship, knowing that culture can be what ends it, which does make me feel a bit uncomfortable. I am thankful that Sunny has lived in the west, and that she is considering a change of venue, but this does not make it a sure thing by any stretch of the imagination. Not to mention that prejudice of Asians abounds in certain places in America as well. So what do you do in this situation? You wait and see what transpires, watch guardedly and hope.

Are those wedding bells?

After nearly two years together, Sunny and I finally won the blessing of her family to get married. Her grandmother, who is a Shaman, and thus the one to dictate what happens when according to the stars and a number of other factors, announced that we must marry this fall in order for our life together to be lucky and productive. This was quite a load off of our minds, as we had discussed an October wedding between ourselves, but didn't know how the family would react. I am quite thankful for Shamanism at this point.

I must admit that we have come a long way since our first announcement that we wanted to marry, where her parents were less than impressed. Since then, I have learned enough Korean to carry on a suitable conversation (though not always in correct form and a source for many good laughs) and have had a chance to get a bit closer to Sunny's parents. It's really kind of nice to hear the relatives biding their time discussing details for our wedding, rather than consoling her parents, as they were in the beginning.

My lovely bride and I did get to walk down the aisle on September 18th, even earlier than we had hoped, though the license for it wasn't actually official until October first, so I guess we were right about the date. Her parents went from shocked embarassment over our wedding plans a year ago to giving us one of the best weddings we could have hoped for. Invitations were sent out to over five hundred people, and though my family was unable to attend it was still one of the proudest days of my life. I honestly nearly cried when I saw this angel begin walking down the aisle on her fathers arm, knowing that I had at least partially won the hearts of all assembled there, and that her father was proud to be giving her away.

For our honeymoon we spent a week on the beautiful island of Bali, Indonesia. Our vacation was all I had ever hoped it would be. We stayed in the Bali Cliff Hotel, overlooking a garden and ponds that seemed to be on the edge of heaven, and definitely was on the edge of a cliff with the pool running right up to the edge of it where you could look over the far lip of the pool and right down onto the beach quite a distance below.

I jokingly refer to Sunny's newfound friends in Bali. We encountered these monkeys in a temple there and I nearly had to tear her away, partially because she liked them, but also because one of the larger females refused to let her go (literally holding fast to her pant leg) until Sunny had given up all of her peanuts. Sunny couldn't believe how much like little people they were. Shortly after our return to Korea Sunny saw a monkey in the pet store and wanted it badly. Hmmm, how to avoid this situation?

We didn't know until we arrived in Bali that Indonesia was involved in a little dispute (okay, war) with their neighbors in East Timor. I have since taught students from East Timor and gotten some of the other side of the story, the side that was left untold in Indonesia. In fact around the resort areas it was as if nothing was really going on at all.

It's a pity too that much of what we saw in our stay has changed as the climate in Indonesia has decayed a bit, with terrorist bombings and partisan fighting changing the face of things there. I don't know if it's true, but I heard somewhere that the lobby the hotel we stayed in was remodeled by a well placed car bomb less than a year after we stayed there.

The Bad News

Unfortunately in front of every silver lining is a cloud. Our cloud comes in the form of government opposition and longs lists of can'ts, i.e. you can't marry a Korean citizen and expect to get away with it. The problem lies in visas,and our rights here in Korea. To get married in the first place we had to apply for an international marriage license because as a foreign male marrying a Korean female I was not entitled to obtain the Korean license, though the opposite is true for Korean males. Further, once our marriage was official, Sunny's name was automatically removed from her father's family census registry, or official family tree, to be transferred to mine, except that foreigners aren't entitled to one. This registry is your identification and citizenship proof in this country. So, now neither of us has the right to own land, recieve government benefits or assistance, or in short to sign anything official. Pretty much every piece of paperwork we have had to deal with has had that underlying implication that we were cordially invited to leave now. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, we must wait at least two months, possibly up to six, for Sunny to receive a visa to go to America. Never mind that we had hoped to remain near her parents for a while. My current visa runs out in December, with little or no prospect of gaining a new one at that time. How are we dealing with it? As the Koreans say, "Chal," or easily. what else can we do?

More on Korea as I experience more of it.