Disclaimer: Associated Campus Entertainment (ACE) disclaims any intentional libel and does not represent the views of its authors. ACE represents only the NNP network of work distribution. Inquiries should be directed to The Editor. Arnel D ("Prince Ali," from Aladdin) ==================================== NAR1: It was around this time that Arnel, never a popular figure, dropped to new abysmal lows on the social ranking of the state. The Dark Ages proved boomtime for Arnel stories, and he would tragically become a popular figure in several ACE parodies. ALL: Make way, it's Arnel D. Say hey, it's Arnel D! SOLO: Hey clear the way, 'cause he's real bizarre. Hey you, let us through! He can spit real far Oh come be the first on your block to wipe his eye Make way 'cause he's dumb, he's gay, how he's glum; How you will avoid this guy! Arnel D, yes it is he. Arnel of Tri-School As you sit, watch for his spit, diligently. Don't give him any respect, he'll just return a reject, His ego montrous and mother will come to see! Arnel D, frightening he, Arnel of Tri-School. Loves those ten muscular men, definitely. He'll beat up guys who make jokes And scratch the ears of those folks. The king of throwing those cokes: It's Arnel D! MEN: He's got seventy-five hats from NASA, (and one from Stanford!) WOMEN: Purple pimples he's got fifty-three. (fabulous, Harry, I love the Reeboks) SOLO: When it comes to exotic expressions, He lives in a zoo, I'm telling you. ALL: It's a third-class menagerie! SOLO: Arnel D Yes it is he Arnel of Tri-School (There's no question that Arnel's annoying) I agree How can we be Weak at the knee (He will go wherever you are going-- Everything about the child just plain disgusts me) Well, hold all the laughs that you can (He's a loser, he's a dopey blunder) I've just developed a plan (How he got this far in life I wonder) On how to make you admire Arnel D! (He will never win at anything, now trust me.) ALL: He's made thousands and thousands of mistakes WOMEN: He is a monkey! Let's see this monkey! ALL: Coca-Colas, he's tossed quite a few WOMEN: He tosses them! He tosses them! CHORUS: So don't ever you dare feed him tacos SOLO: Proud to scream at you ALL: So don't take Arnel to Taco Bell Or anywhere else; he'll be too rude, Arnel D! Arnel D! SOLO: Arnel D! Lonely is he, Arnel of Tri-School. Heard this actress was a sight! Lovely to see! And now I'm sure you're surprised You all just got hypnotized ALL: With six hundred enemies, sodas galore. Drooling saliva, his wet glands, and more. His forty gray hairs, his crazy, wild stares. He'll follow wherever you'll be! Make way for Arnel D! A Whole New World ("A Whole New World," from Aladdin) ===================================================== NAR1: Arnel Dino suffered like no other for throwing a coke on the author of the Thespianbury Tales, an incident that he still has not lived down. It is a recurring theme in ACE works. DINO: I can show you a world, where they find you obnoxious. While you're going hypoxious, princess, wipe away my drool. Wipe the crust from my eyes. How it got there, I wonder. You will also receive it when you fall asleep in school. A whole new world, a frightening place you never knew. And when they call you names, don't play their games. When they throw insults at you... MM: A whole new world. How can I ever break this spell? If I get trapped in here, it's crystal clear. Arnel will make my life a living hell DINO: Now you're in a whole new world with me. MM: Unbelievable sights. Indescribable feelings. Spitting, drooling, and sleeping all on top of my notebook. A whole new world DINO: Wipe the crust off my eyes. MM: How can I ever break this spell? DINO: Smell my breath, it gets wetter. MM: I'll be chased everywhere there's room to spare. Free me from this whole new world with you... DINO: A whole new world MM: Every turn a surprise DINO: How long will he try to pursue? MM: Every moment, red letter DINO: I'll chase her anywhere There's time to spare. Let me share this whole new world with you. [MM: A whole new world Please let me free [DINO: A whole new world Don't let her free {MM: A frightening place with him with me {DINO: A thrilling place for her and me Arnel ("Gaston," from Beauty and the Beast) =========================================== THESP: Gosh it disturbs me to see you Arnel, playing the BMOC. Thespian leader and JSA god? Resume-padding, to me. Everyone knows you're a Loman, Arnel, why do think you're so hot? Stop telling strangers you're wondrous, Arnel, When everyone else knows you're not! No one fails like Arnel, No one quails like Arnel No one likes to chase burly strong males like Arnel You know he's the paragon loser, When he's thwarted he calls on his mom, In a year a demonical bruiser, Rejected no less than eight times for the prom No one spits like Arnel, Has no wit like Arnel No one throws frantic meaningless fits like Arnel. ARNEL: Yes a talk with me's really quite enervating ALL: Oh what a guy, that Arnel! THESP: Despised in theatre, abhorred at school, And everywhere else he's an infamous fool... JSA: No one stalks like Arnel, No one gawks like Arnel, THESP: No one stutters and drools when he talks like Arnel JSA: There's no one who's lost more elections In all of the state J-S-A If knowing that he's a reflection, We hope that he'll soon graduate. No one chokes like Arnel, Can't take jokes like Arnel, No one likes to hit Jozee with cokes like Arnel Oh, Dukakis and Quayle beat him at debating ALL: Boy, what a pity, Arnel. ARNEL: When I was a sophomore I almost flunked out, Ms Barth almost bought me a clue, But thanks to Ms Stewart I'm up there, no doubt, So look out next year L M U...! JSA: No one's dared like Arnel THESP: Is gray haired like Arnel BOTH: No one loses when they are compared with Arnel ARNEL: I think of old Babs while I'm masturbating JSA: Say it once more THESP: Who's that clown in the door? Who's pathetic at stealth JSA: And can't drive by himself BOTH: Whose disorganized days pass with laughter more crazed Mister gossip, bad fashion, a child still unfazed, There's just one guy in town who's got none of it down... ALL: And his name is Arnie-el: Arneeeeel! The JSA Nerd (Arabian Nights, from Aladdin) =========================================== SOLO: Oh, I come from a school, from a Catholic school Where students come to learn the arts (some students have died from strife) Where they cut from the play if they don't like your face It's barbaric-- but it's Ms Barth (hey, it's life) But I heard there's a school that they call Servite High And a boy of whom I've heard Start your car with your key or just come down with me To visit the JSA nerd. The JSA Nerd in Ms Messerle's cage He'll do what she's said so he can be head of the actors backstage The JSA Nerd is the JSA joke A fool off his guard could laugh and laugh hard And die with a choke The First Arnel (The First Noel) ================================ SOLO: The first Arnel the doctors did say "We apologize for his oblivious ways. In school where he gets neither A's nor respect He futilely tried to show he's no defect ALL: Arnel, Arnel, Arnel, Arnel. If you have any merits, to the world do tell. His walk, his voice, that limp in his wrist. God tried to perfect him, but sadly... he missed. The people he knows flee him like the wind. Everyone, gather 'round for his song will begin. ALL: Arnel, Arnel, Arnel, Arnel. If you have any merits, to the world do tell. "Thith mith thith rith thtith": What the hell did he say? Better give it up for no one cares anyway In JSA he acts like a fool How many mercy jobs will you get from Tri-School? ALL: Arnel, Arnel, Arnel, Arnel. If you have any merits, to the world do tell. As the theatre goes, no one cares for Arnel 'Cuz to sing or to act, he does neither well Better give him a part; like Barth and Knowles do Or he'll unleash his mother to come after you ALL: Arnel, Arnel, Arnel, Arnel. If you have any merits, to the world do tell. Arnel Dino (Oklahoma!) ====================== NAR3: Arrrnel Dino, we're so glad you're so easy to be mocked. If we're in a rut, we will have a glut Of material once you start to talk! NAR1: Arrrnel Dino, you have carved your niche upon our world Being such a fool as you speak or drool And especially if you see a girl. NAR2: Yet you know you can be so stuck up In those moments you're life's not messed up. ALL: And so we saaay... (Yech!) just make some friends todaaay (Yech!) We're only sayin' take your gray hair, Arnel, elsewhere-- Arnel Dino, go away Arnel Dino, Arnel Dino, Arnel, Dino Arnel Dino Go home, Arnel Dino! ALL: You know you can be so stuck up, Those brief moments you're life's not fucked up And so we saaayy... (Yech!) just make some friends todaaay (Yech!) You know we're sayin' take your gray hair, Arnel, elsewhere-- Arnel Dino, go away-R-N-E-L-D-I-N-O... Arneeel! SPECIAL INTRODUCTION Favorite Arnel Songs is a collection of the half-dozen most popular songs about Arnel Dino (also referred to as The Loser, the Pyrrophyte, the Dino-flaggellator, etc). Although prepared for release by The Editor around distribution time for "Encore!," the scripts involved underwent several major revisions which led to the scrapping of the original version. ny intentional libel and does not representÄ Please note that events or descriptions made in these songs may be hyperbolized and are included solely because of their humor potential. Unlike the Big Book of Arnel Stories, currently in its third release, Favorite Arnel Songs may contain fictitious incidents or asides. Being a work of smaller scope, Favorite Arnel Songs has been edited less stringently. As noted in the introduction to the special section in Encore!, these songs capitalize on an easy target. The authors are not to be praised for their work, since anyone could write a song equally funny about, say, Michael Dukakis. Indeed, Arnel at once point intercepted a copy of "The JSA Nerd," and the author was saved from ejection from the NNP network merely because he told Arnel the song was about Jason Cho. "The JSA Nerd," although noted as the first Dino-related song in the ACE lore, is actually the first that became widely celebrated. Arnel is mentioned in many incidents in the Manson and, even earlier, in The Adventures of Mr Bob comic strips, both written by the Proud Prince of the Presets during a Saeedy period in the 1990-1991 school year. Please note that in the second release of Encore!, "Oklahoma!" has been replaced by "Gaston." Aladdin has not been extensively revised since its original release in 1993. Disclaimer: Associated Campus Entertainment (ACE) disclaims any intentional libel and does not represent the views of its authors. ACE represents only the NNP network of work distribution. Inquiries should be directed to The Editor. SPECIAL INTRODUCTION Favorite Arnel Songs is a collection of the half-dozen most popular songs about Arnel Dino (also referred to as The Loser, the Pyrrophyte, the Dino-flaggellator, etc). Although prepared for release by The Editor around distribution time for "Encore!," the scripts involved underwent several major revisions which led to the scrapping of the original version. As noted in the introduction to the special section in Encore!, these songs capitalize on an easy target. The authors are not to be praised for their work, since anyone could write songs equally funny about, say, Michael Dukakis. Indeed, Arnel at once point intercepted a copy of "The JSA Nerd," and the author was saved from ejection from the NNP network merely because he told Arnel the song was about Jason Cho and Arnel believed him (cross-reference Big Book of Arnel Stories). "The JSA Nerd," although noted as the first Dino-related song in the ACE lore, is actually the first that became widely celebrated. Arnel is mentioned in many incidents in the Manson and, even earlier, in The Adventures of Mr Bob comic strips, both written by the Proud Prince of the Presets during a Saeedy period in the 1990-1991 school year. Please note that in the second release of Encore!, "Oklahoma!" has been replaced by "Gaston"; Aladdin has not been extensively revised since its original release in 1993. For those who might be unfamiliar with the scope of Arnel's fame-- that is, one who has not memorized all of the incidents from either Tri-School Theatre, JSA, Servite JSA, or Servite High School, a copy of The Big Book of Arnel Stories is recommended. It is available for only 75¢ from The Editor by first class US Post or free over the Internet via electronic mail.