What the hell are predictions doing on WacKeD©? The answer quite simply, is that these are definately wacked predicitons. Some aren't so bad... But some... well I'll just let you read them for yourself....

These predicitons were made in May of 1998.

Knowledge is in the Eye of the Beholder
Can you imagine the day when computers become obsolete. I can. At least for people. Let me explain. Computers are a tool for us. However they are EXTREMELY tedious to use. You may not think so but consider this. How fast can you THINK compared to your typing speed. You have to TELL the computer everything you know. That’s not the best way.

I predict that sometime in the next 10 years technology will become so advanced that we will be able to create a computer the size of an eyeball. An eyeball? Yes, and that’s what it’s going to replace. Don’t worry you will still see fine(it will actually improve your sight). But it will do much more. The artificial eye will become an extension of you, recording everything you see and hear. But that’s only the beginning…

The artificial eye will also accept commands. Want to see yesterday’s movie again? It is done through a direct connection to your brain. What’s more, you will be able to create computer programs or other computer related tasks by thinking. It will happen.

Auto-drive...Better Late than Never
I hate driving. I think we’ll probably discover how to dematerialize a person and rematerialize them before we get this down. But alas, it will probably come along. I think this feature should already be available to the consumer. I strongly believe we have the technology available today to create a car that drives and reacts automatically… with little additional cost to the vehicle. If anyone (like , or ) wants to hear my ideas… please contact me. But you’ve probably locked that one away with the cars that run on water.

Aliens Visit the Earth
Close Encounters. E.T. X Files. Star Wars. Battlestar Galactica. Independence Day. Lost in Space. All this fiction is creating some pretty high expectations. Well here’s the scoop. Our solar system is definitely in the suburbs. In the Downtown area, malls have been around for some time and if you think were the only one’s out here… well I think Hee Haw is coming on now. I think the boys from the hood will probably make their debut by 2005.

New Star Wars fails miserably at the Box Office
Speaking of little green men. Some of you are getting your ropes and screaming INFIDEL. Now hold up. I think Lucas is a STUD. I saw Star Wars back when I was a wee lad. It rocked then and it rocked now. All three of them. The special editions were O.K. but I like the originals much better. But think about it. Lucas has so much to live up to. The expectations are way up there. Nah, the odds are definitely against him. This isn’t really a prediction, its just gonna happen.

Nuclear Explosion in United States linked to Saddam Hussein
With all the Uranium floating around in the former Soviet Union and with the U.N. pussyfooting around (what else can they do when we live in a bureaucratic world order) that bad boy that we love to hate will put something together (in the next 2 years) and earn more disciples. I just hope it’s a tactical bomb and only wipes out a few blocks. Hey, can I suggest the Jerry Springer set as the target?

Scientists say Inbreeding key to Darwin’s theory of Evolution
Okay, if I haven’t got your blood boiling I expect you will become pretty angry now. If you don’t believe in evolution… (See Hee Haw above). I’m not saying I don’t believe in God. I do. But I don’t think God "just added water".

Although we will continue to evolve, our population so large and so mixed that we have come to a virtual standstill.

I think evolution is a mutation. What causes the most mutations… uhh… uhh… yah, you guessed it. The fact is that some mutations are good and some (well most) are bad. However it’s that small percentage that makes us what we are. So thank your great cousins. Otherwise you might not be as smart as you are today. But don’t go grab your sister just yet. Incest is extremely immoral in our society.

I know this isn't a prediction... but the next time you see an endangered species, do some research into how much they’ve changed from the original species. They have no choice but to inbreed.

The Next TITANIC... CHALLENGER
Someone has definitely thought of this already. Look for it in theaters by 2000.

Waterworld? Will it become a reality?
I can’t take credit for this. El Nino (did you know it meant Christ Child) is the winner here. Expect the shorelines to be on the rise and so will the scientists stress levels.

Outbreak!
Do you get the feeling I watch too many movies? Well you’re probably right. But I expect that something huge will come around in the next 10 years. I’m not talking AIDS (although that’s an awful virus). I mean something that will wipe out at least 50% of the human population. Nature has a way of keeping things in balance. As the population grows, viruses will continue to become more resistant and imagine an airborne virus that kills. Hope you have insurance.

Cloning Bodyparts
Since we’re talking about medicine, lets talk about something big. Well they cloned a sheep, didn’t they? Not really. A clone is an exact duplicate of an adult. Scientists injected an adult sheep’s DNA into an embryo that had it’s own DNA stripped off. Close but no cigar.

But I don’t think we’re that far off. Skip the sheep and get me that new heart would ya? Unfortunately it’s going to happen a lot later than sooner. Not because we CAN’T do it but because the medical industry is more concerned with profit than progress. Give it 15 years.

Aging is Out
But once the medical community gets their act together, expect some real breakthroughs. Aging is directly related to endocrine function. When you get old, its because your body doesn’t produce this hormone or that hormone. One day in the next 7 years, a really smart endocrinologist will pinpoint what those hormones are and either find a way to continue your own natural production or create synthetics. Don’t worry, people will still die. They just won’t get OLD. You can still be hit by a bus, get shot, get prostate cancer, overdose, etc.

Numero Uno
One. That’s right. One. Right now you have a TV cable wire, Voice Phone wire, Data Phone wire, and who knows what other kind of data mediums entering your home. In the next 3 years you will see new utility companies who’s purpose is to provide data to the home user. From their utility center, phone companies, cable companies, and Internet providers can get a piece of the bandwidth. Sure makes it easier, doesn’t it?

Update: Thursday June 5, 1998
Today, AT&T purchased TCI. AT&T stated that in 2 years, they will have one service for cable, phone, internet, etc. You heard it here!

Sleep is Obsolete
We waste at least half our lives sleeping. I tried to stay awake once and felt like I had to take a dump for 3 days (I felt like shit). This is a good brain teaser for the guy who solves the aging problem. Give it 5 years.

Population Control
This isn’t really a prediction. This is a reality. If we don’t have some sort of cataclysmic disaster we will definitely be overpopulated (I think we are 10 times over our limit now). Limit people to 1 child per family (given they can pass an objective parental proficiency exam). If every couple has only 1 child, then the next generation should be half as large as the previous one, and so on until we get to a happy medium. I think the Earth is screaming "can’t we just get along".

Crime? We don’t need no stinking crime!
This is a simple idea. When everyone is born, implant a piece of technology that will allow a world global tracking system to track that person at all times. In about 15 years, everyone will have a tracking device implanted somewhere where it can’t be taken out (without causing death). Then if your wife gets raped, you have a special security group (probably the evolution of the police) check the data records of who was with your wife at that time. Boomastic… got the fucker! I can’t imagine creating a major crime where, if you can be linked to the scene, you don’t get caught. Some will argue that this takes away from some of our freedoms. Well don’t do the crime then dummy!