THE OTHER SIDE IS I've been seeking a reason for Judy's cancer and all of her suffering, and I've found the knowledge that where she has gone truly is a better place and that she watches over me like a guardian angel. I now strongly believe that we don't die; that our physical form does, but not the essence of who we really are and have been. I believe in reincarnation and past lives, not just in the traditional Christian soul that lives forever, but that we souls [spiritual beings having a human existence] come here to Earth to learn lessons in our development as spiritual entities. I've not fully grasped the extent as to why suffering has to take place to learn, but I do know that lessons learned through suffering are the most profoundly learned and engrained in us.
GOD I'm not sure now how much I believe in GOD now, or that Jesus Christ was his Son; I don't follow many of the Christian fundamentalists in believing that there is only one way to Him. I believe, as do the Sufi's, that God has revealed Himself to each culture in a way that is in synch with their way of life and social orientation; that there is NO ONE single religion, including the belief in Jesus Christ, that has the lock on how to achieve oneness.
I further now believe that God might be the great Creator but does not involve Himself in every aspect of life. He creates and then stops his involvment once his creations are "set in motion". This would explain pain, suffering and the limitations of the "Where was God in this?" question.
Zen even would go as far as teaching that there is no God or even us, because in doing so, you violate the principle that EVERYTHING is ONE; that there is no separation--nothingness is everything.
FINAL ENLIGHTENMENT You have to be able to see that you and God are not separate in order to become One--in fact you can not even think of anything like God being "other" because you are inherently thinking dualistically. Have I gotten "IT" (i.e. Do I think and behave as I've just written it)? No. Would I tell you if I did? No, because it would imply again that I have felt that I had something you didn't. And if I did really get IT, I would be one with you and the Universe. So, telling you that I got IT would be falling back to believing that you and I are separate. Yes, I'm still in a dualistic world thinking separate thoughts about God & you & I.
LIVE IN THE NOW & THE FLOW I've learned that living in the moment is vitally important to be free to enjoy your journey on whatever path you've chosen. Living in the moment also involves relinquishing worry and guilt and expectations about your journey. This is not easy to grasp in our Western oriented thinking where everything is striving and goal-oriented. Surrendering to what simply is/exists without judgement is the key to flowing with the Go. That is flowing with your path, what you feel instinctively, and not others or what you think others want/expect you to do. "Going with the flow" implies that there is some other current that you must surrender to and flow with. Not quite. You have what the Hindu's call your 'dharma': the actions that you are destined to do; just as a scorpion's dharma is to sting, yours is whatever yours is. ¿Comprende? In this life, you may choose to do your dharma or not; it is YOUR choice.
HARMONY & BALANCE ARE VITAL Interestingly enough, once you see the perfection in even "bad" things that happen, you wonder how you could ever let it get you upset. Yes, we slip. Yes, we feel pain and anger. Yes, we cry and feel sadness. That is OK as long as one way does not take over your life and thoughts. Your and my desire to fight what we feel is wrong, is also part of the "perfection"; it is the balance that is important--the Yin to the Yang--the Good to the Evil--and the Right to the Wrong. But it is only when you can live in the center, that you see that neither of them have sway over you; that their harmonies are what is so important and so each are necessary. Hard to imagine or accept? Maybe, but it gets easier the farther away your viewpoint is--when you're right in the thick of it, it's almost impossible to believe.
WELL....I'm NOT SURE If you choose NOT to do your dharma, you will learn from it--the Universe will send you signals (not all will be pleasant) to let you know. You can choose to ignore the signs and suffer/learn, or you can pay attention and choose to get back on your path*. There is a paradox to all this, we have control of our lives (or we think we do), yet there is a Great Way [Chinese Taoists call it the Tao ("Dow")] that is our path to ultimate enlightenment. It's like you have control, but you don't really--that what you do is really destined from the beginning. If you realize that everything that you do is part of the perfection of the Universe, or part of the Tao, then you begin to wonder why all the struggle in resisting or fighting "the current." And eventually, you will begin to surrender and be easier with what simply comes up in your life. You will begin to have less need to judge it because judging it does absolutely nothing to change it; it never has, it never will either. There will be less stress in your life because you have realized that it all is taken care of. This does not mean you become lazy and uncaring about things that matter. This means that most of what drives you and I crazy about life simply need not any longer.
*THE PATH SIMPLY IS And now I think that even when you get "off your path", you are still on it (Ahh! Getting very Zen-like now); that what you are given, even the crap in life, is part of your lesson. Paying attention to just what is the lesson is the key to dealing with the crap.
Maha Sthavira Sangharakshita [try typing that ten times fast] said: "Zen is simply a voice crying, "Wake up! Wake up!"
Enough for now. There's a lot to think about in what I've just written. Let me know how you feel or what you think--differently or similarly.