Some filler material to eat up some of that expanded space on your SPFS
web site. Hey, don't put MY NAME on it. This is anonymous fluff. Maybe
folks can add to the list...


                Top 10 Indicators You've Had Too Much to Drink at a 
                        Class of `68 Reunion


10.  You're having this great half-hour, heart-to-heart conversation with a
shy classmate at your dinner table  -  when your husband suddenly comes up
and asks why you're talking so loud to the centerpiece.

9.  Your wife won't let you dance with anyone unless you agree to hang a
"Do Not Disturb" sign on your pants' zipper.

8. The valet parking attendant says that you're not only too drunk to
drive, by law they've got to ship you home in a UPS crate.

7. You lose a $500 bet with the D.J. after insisting his SAT scores had to
be lower than yours  -  which means you're dumber than a man who plays
"Twist and Shout" for a living.

6.  A classmate says "Gosh, I wish Mr. Dezort could be here"  -  and you're
spotted driving out of the parking lot with three drunk guys from the
football team and a couple of shovels.

5.  As dessert is being served an FBI agent asks if you'd mind stepping
outside so he can ask you a few questions about a plot to assassinate the
class president.

4. Nobody laughs when you carve "BEAT WESTFIELD" into your forehead with
your salad fork.

3. Long about midnight you somehow manage to convince 20 people that it's
time to play Pin the Tail on the Bartender.

2. Your happily married high school sweetheart says that, yes, she'll sleep
with you tonight if you can just name all seven of the Great Lakes  -  and
your first answer is "Sneezy".

1.  You feel flattered that everybody keeps coming up to you and exclaiming
"Boy, you really look GREAT!"  -  and three hours later find out  you took
a wrong turn in the hotel lobby and have been the hit of the Irvington High
School Class of  1938 reunion.