Chapter Two: Getting Saved

I went to their church that Friday night. Although I didnt know the terms at the time, the church was a Charismatic one, with an evangelical commitment to the Bible. A gospel message was given with some mention of how the Bible says that only Christians go to heaven. Then people were invited to the front of the church as part of an ‘alter call.’ I was surprised to hear that you had to do anything in particular to go to heaven and decided to ensure that I made it! With Martin’s prompting I walked forward. A young leader came to council me. He asked why I came forward and I replied that I felt I should make a formal commitment to God. He prayed for me right there. Part of his prayers were that God would reveal himself to me. These prayers went on for quite a while, and the councillor asked me once or twice if I sensed God’s presence. I didnt think that I had, but I was shivering a bit and wondered if it was just cold ...or was it God?

Later the three of us went to a counselling room. The councillor explained what a Christian really was and asked if I wanted to become one. I was determined to ‘join up’ so that I didnt go to hell, and I replied with a definite yes. The councillor then seemed to try to talk me out of it!!!! He warned that being a Christian might be the hardest thing in my life.

But there was no way he could get me to change my mind. I gave my life to God.

When the evening was over and I was leaving the building, I passed the youth pastor at the door. He asked where I was at. Being a little surprised that I didnt sense much change in myself, I told him what I’d done and asked "Should I feel different?" He perhaps felt a bit negative about what he may have seen as a lack of excitement on my part, and replied in a nice way that if having my name written in heaven didnt knock my socks off, nothing would.

Example of Music of the Time In the following weeks and months I continued to go to youth group and then to Sunday night church services as well. I became less sure about my decision, asking myself for a long time whether God really existed. I also questioned myself a lot about whether I was sure enough to make it worthwhile my denying myself the sacrifices that Christians have to make. It was a doublemindedness that went on for perhaps two years, and was difficult to resolve. I mean...how do you ask a youth pastor "How do you know for certain that God exists" without the inherent criticism? I read about discoveries in Biblical archaeology and took an interest in ‘near death experiences’, and these sorts of things boosted my faith, but I still struggled to believe completely. Eventually I decided that I had to make my mind up; if I didnt believe with certainty, I was disobeying the Bible (Heb 11:1, Jas 1:6-8). I thought it through, decided that God was real and I decided that I would no longer let those doubts enter my mind.

Meanwhile, I was finding my church a cool place. The youth pastor was really cool, charismatic, relatable, he spoke my language, and he would give me a really warm "Hello Craig" when I arrived at Church. There was lots of cool music, a God who bombed people every now and again (supernaturally put them to sleep, or made them fall over at a leader’s prayer) and a whole lot of other cool people. The church musicians played electric guitars and drums, some talked of how they’d left drugs and sex behind (wow!), and the people generally didnt fit the nerdy Christian stereotype.

God and Christianity became very real and reasonably serious to me, particularly when I was at Church. The people there spoke in tongues (considered to be speaking a language that’s actually unknown to them, with the words supernaturally chosen by God as they are spoken) and it sounded authentic to me, although I never seemed to be able to do it myself. At home I made a decision to stop losing my temper at my younger brother. When he discovered that I no longer hit back, he knew that something major was going on.

After about a year, Martin was a changed person. He’d become more confident and outgoing and was also doing very well in his studies. I had talked to one of my leaders about my shyness and he said that God had changed him (the leader) to an extrovert and that God could do the same for me. I pondered: was it God who did this to Martin?

After a while the idea that there really is a God, became less of a novelty. This was partly because the reality of the requirements of living a Christian life began to sink in. It could be tough having to always do what I felt God wanted of me, even when I didnt feel like it. The leaders encouraged having daily "quiet times" where you would pray, reflect and ‘listen’ to God. I found these very boring and didnt feel as though they achieved much. Sometimes I didnt look forward to sermons for fear of finding another rule I would have to obey and another thing that would make me feel guilty. These negatives, added to the fact that I was reliant on my parents to transport me to and from church, led me to begin to visit church less frequently.

But that’s not to say I didnt try hard in those early days. I determined that my radio station of choice would be the local Christian one. This was despite its choice of music (it was aimed at the middle aged), and how some of the statements they made almost sounded like bad taste. They made one statement which made me really uncomfortable: "Broadcasting Jesus Christ into the nineties". It was so ... well ... full on. I used to turn the radio down when I heard it coming, so that other people didnt hear it.

My drift away from Christianity came to an abrupt halt when I was approached by some Christians when I was in the city one night. They asked me if I was as committed to God as I could be. I told them that I probably wasnt. They told me that many churches arent really committed, and that their church was. They invited me along, and impressed by their good intensions and friendliness I agreed and went to a service. They basically told me that if I was to continue with my current church’s ‘lack of enthusiasm’, I would go to hell. This news caused me enormous stress, to the point of physical sickness. But when I talked to someone from my first church, I became convinced that these new friends were off track and I decided that they were a cult. But they did shock me into recommitting myself to my God.

A Youth Group Poster. Before too long, church again became my highlight of the week. I became so enthusiastic about my religion that I felt at times like shouting that old line "Broadcasting Jesus Christ into the nineties" from the rooftops. I gave myself completely to following God.

One friend had said to me that it was okay to be religious, but he warned me not to go to far. But both the Bible and my leaders preached that Christianity required a full commitment. Various experiences confirmed to me that having a strong commitment to what I believed was sensible. For example, I witnessed what is sometimes described as an ‘exorcism’. A quiet guy from church started shouting and saying mean things to my youth pastor. I was in another room, but through a window, I could see him walking around completely out of character, as if he was King Kong. I could also hear loud crashes. One of my close friends had also had an exorcism and said that you could see the spirits moving around the room and disturbing the curtains. The one that I was present at was so shocking that it made me tearful to think that it was possible for the devil to do that to someone.

Another experience that reassured me that my Christian commitment was sensible was when a healing evangelist came to my church. A number of people claimed that God healed them of things that night. One girl said that she had never been able to breathe through her nose until she went to that service. Two people each claimed to have had one of their legs lengthened. My pastor and others said that they saw the legs grow before their eyes. I didnt know personally any of those who were healed.

Although I saw Christianity as involving faith (eg you cant see God), I now thought of it as being entirely factual and true.

Chapter Three

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