The robots are out to make some quick bucks. Our landlord, Jova, has threatened to throw us in all our glorious manganese perfection out on our tin ears if we don't pay our back rent. Luckily our processors are so far more advanced than mere brains that as soon as we realise there is a problem we immediately preceive the solution--we need to get rich quick.
Let me put that in people terms so you humans can understand: We need to get a large sum
of cash or credit together in a short time. This is best accomplished through schemes.
Schemes come in many kinds, often and usually involving hilarious antics. As best as
we can tell from old episodes of "What's Happening" Stevie Wonder is also usually involved in schemes.
So here we go!
1. Blair Witch Wear. Wear what the fun-loving young humans of the irrevocably hip fresh new movie
"The Blair Witch Project" wear! Which we understand to be some kind of cinematographic accomplishment.
What pupal human will not want to dress like fratty doomed Mike? Or hard-as-nails doomed Heather? Or scruffily doomed Alexei Lawless?
Best of all? We robots merely purchase clothings at Old Navy! Then we tack on Robo-label (thank god Judy got
me that label gun for Bastille Day) and charge twice the price!
1a. Blair Witch Ware. Some kind of tie-in with Williams Sonoma, maybe a type of olive oil spray can that runs around in the woods at night practicing unlicensed dentistry, $45.
2. The Blair Warner Project. Here we make our own cycloscopic feature. This one tells the true story (or is it?)
of a rich boarding school girl who loses her job and disappears into celebrity oblivion
only to have her life shattered by an encounter with the ghost of a 2000 year old hippy-type jewish boy
who was brutally and ritualistically murdered by provincial types (probably foreigners). Watch in
spooked fascination as the ghost walks on water and looks smashing on velvet! Head for the hills when she takes her kids out of public school! Cringe as she kneels
in twisted blood-drinking worship at some macabre torture altar! Watch her attempt to drown her spawn! It will scare your puny human socks off!
These links are like matter transporter for your eyes
NEW!!! See pix of the 'bots and their pals!
The webbed buzz about Blair is growing, check out this official site!
Back to our Past
How's it all going to go down?
Back to your Future
Give us some feedback. Do It!
See previous creative outlets of robots
Just one reason we are so damned much smarter than you
Area robots make interweb debut
We are your saviours.
Not too late to turn back.
Your myths=Our fears.
Sick of it all? Us too!
Blair isn't the only celeb we care about
Should I buy this guy's air-conditioner? 6000 btus...
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