Well, so here it is. Many of you were no doubt unsatisfied finding out that JOE TORRE was really the only person on the robot list. Please be assured that this is not because he is the only noun on Earth we loathe. Torre just happens to be the only one who directly cheesed us off as robots, per se. Other nouns, the hard or soft determiners of which follow, have a more general vileness that it just happens to be our lot to "take care of." We have recently unencrypted a telex from HQ delimiting the preliminary objectives for robogeddon day one. Here, reproduced in lies and slander, is that file. We may get periodic updates.

1. Churches
2. Banks
3. Highways
4. Weather-as-News
5. When my little sister ganks my eggo brand breakfast waffle
6. Artistic Rubber Stamps
7. Novelty T-Shirts
8. Public Outrage and Shock
9. GM
10. Teachers who act like they don't remember what it was like to be a screwed-up screw-up kid
11. Reagan
12. People who laughed at Rico Suave but love Ricky Martin
13. Rico Suave
14. That concert scene in "Play Misty for Me"
15. Pepsico
16. Cops who act like they don't remember what it was like to be a goofy kid whacked out on paint fumes and angel dust and in a harvester driving down highway six shooting at the Amish
17. People who write "pomo" in fonts that make it look like "porno" (this means you, Village Voice)
18. All others who write "pomo"
19. Miracle earthquake survivors
20. Hippies, Yuppies, Preppies, Hipsters, Scenesters, Beatniks, Young People, the Kids, Boomers, Busters, Slackers, Foreigners, Skin Heads, Religious Types Mostly, Septic Yanks, Geeks, Nerds, Jocks, Feebs, Dweebs, and Frat Boys. Basically anyone who isn't a robot or an avowed, certified, sanctified, bona fide and tan my hidey robot booster.
21. Everything you hate, and you, too
22. Analytic Philosophers (especially Kantians, Logicians, and my little sister)
23. Buddhists
24. Judgmental People
25. Europe
    
    

    Check out these exciting links!

    NEW!!! See pix of the 'bots and their pals!
    Back to Front
    Do you like to eat? Who doesn't!? But do you really understand what you are getting into?
    "A past, immeasurable and glorious, is the finest judge of man and 'bot alike"-William Tecumseh Shakespeare
    What are you?
    Stop these damned robots!
    So much anger, where is the beauty?
    God these things are creepy
    Dustin, no!!!!
    Cursed flying menace
    How we made our fortune
    Report discrepancies
    
    

    We just want to help you help yourselves, Earth scum!
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    Entities forewarned of the coming hellstorm since 26 August 1999.

    

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