'rik's page-quotes

These are quotes that I've either heard from friends or have said myself (most of the time in a drunken stupor). They may be stupid, insightful, or just completely random but never the less they are here. I realize that many of these will have no meaning to anybody but my group of friends but I don't care.
UPDATE: From time to time everybody says something either really weird or maybe just dumb. Mad props to my buddy Kyle for writting down most interesting quotes he's heard. It's time now to share with the entire world, the insanity that is the lives of me and my friends. I'll try to get the backgrounds of these sayings but don't press your luck. Oh, buy the way. Some of these people are my friends, others I don't know, and still others I can't stand. - Feb. 4, 1999

December 19, 1998 3:28 p.m.
"My penis is not a car battery!" - David Henderson
December 20, 1998 11:26 p.m.
"Take Your Pants!" - From the summer of '98
December 30, 1998 10:08 p.m.
Kyle got a DATE!!!! Congrates.
December 30, 1998 10:09 p.m.
It's no fun when you have to wake up at five in the morning to go to work when your sick. At Least, I get paid tomorrow. Yeah, gas money to get back to school!
January 8, 1999 12:21 a.m.
"I can't believe I got an evil glare from someone wearing suspenders." - Jared Largen
January 8, 1999 12:29 a.m.
"You're a fool, whether you're dancing or not, so you might as well be dancing." - David Henderson
January 11, 1999 10:59 a.m.
"All roads lead to porn."
January 12, 1999 9:36 p.m.
"Religion isn't so bad, it's just the people that follow it."
January 27, 1999 11:22 a.m.
"My car is like a $10 hooker, its not pretty but it does the job."
February 4, 1999 5:55 p.m.
"No swim trophies are going up my butt." - David H.
"So, sex drive is sex drive." - Ed Dale or David H.?
"I never get bored with MY penis." - Ed Dale
"I think she's pretty, but I just don't find women attractive" - Sarah (yes, that Sarah)
"I'm not a thirteen year-old Jewish boy" - Lindsey (Lindsey at the time of this saying was drunk off her ass. Of course since she weighs about 50 ibs. it only took a half of a Kamikaze)
"The only problem I have with that area is not being there" - Dan
"All right boys, it's penis time" - Lindsey
"I like dick." - April
"It's a bad month for cleavage." - Ben the Pharmacist (who only Kyle knows)
"Don't fuck the luck." - Bryan Graves
"All I want is to show my dick to a girl" - Conan
"Shimmies are when you shake your tits" - Sarah Joy
"Titty-sucking" - Sarah Joy
"Fingers don't ejaculate" - Lindsey
"You can't get pregnant through your butt" - Tim
"TOOOOOOOOOOTIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" - Ricky
"When your half-asleep, a hole is a hole." - Unknown
"How do you kick yourself in the chode?" - Ricky
"We can be the sleep-chode-kickers!" - Ricky, Kyle and Tim
"Cause they never check" - Lil' Ed and Kyle
February 22, 1999 5:55 p.m.
"I can't help it. All the girls I like turn out to be strippers." - Jared Largen

March 8, 1999 8:13p.m.
"I'm only into Christianity for the women." - David Henderson
May 3, 1999 8:13p.m.
"I am now a man." - Jared Largen
"Frogs don't have a penis." - random quote
"Because of my religion beliefs I can't have sex till I'm married so I can't wait till I'm married." - some random Christian girl

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