All Around You Paranoia eating away at my soul. Cradling a fragile psyche. So much left to learn, about someone you hardly know. In so much pain, torn apart. Hard to see what's really there, seeing only the hurt. Hurt in your eyes, burning with fear. Violent storm rages, waiting for the gentle rain. A quiet mist of reflection, a revelation of such truth. Perfect clarity shines through a dark soul. All that was there, an illusion. All that remains, a truth you never knew. More perfection remained than you thought, destruction seeming farther off. The paranoia losing definition. Protecting your heart, doubting the doubt. Opening your eyes to someone new, looking only forward. Frozen So quickly moving, revolving. A cool breeze brushes my cheek, as life passes me by. Soft heart beat, blood running slowly, mind lost somewhere in the past. Dead, speechless, struggling for life. Fighting demons in a haunting past. In desperate need for revival, wishing to freeze time. So it may be possible to cope, and miss not a moment more of life. No longer watching it pass me by. Buried Reflection Long, long, road ahead. Unearthed emotions floating softly to the earth once again, falling to solid ground. Buried once again, forgotten. A past finally put behind, lost in the future. Too much left to be discovered, too much for my eyes. Each step taken in bravery, facing all that you fear. Alone, or side by side, the road will take a turn for the individual. Living for yourself and your dreams, traveling so long for fulfillment. Few chances to find it, not long for this world. Live, and kill the bad memories, bury them in the past. Severed Link I was a mistake, such vital parts of my soul missing. A hole in my heart too big to fill, a life empty and meaningless. So cold, so hollow, so deep a puncture to my heart. Trying so hard to survive without love, hopeless it was. What was missing? Growing more painful with the years, plunging deeper into my existance. Impairing my life, holding me down. All along, needing only love to warm such a cold spot. Finding it at last so unexpectedly. A whole person, my other half within me. Feeding the lonely gap in my heart. Ripped out, taken from me. As fast as it had filled the emptiness it dug in deeper. Less of a being than before, unable to function, lost. Blind and hopeless, trapped in a cold world all alone. So happy at one perfect moment, I wish to freeze in time. How disappointing to see it go. Painful, this new wound runs deep. A permanent scar, the other half of my heart taken away. So empty and alone. I try to survive once again on my own. Vulnerable Isolated and cold, desperate in the night. Crying so loud, no one hears. Choking on the pain. Searching for understanding, begging, reaching out. No comfort, no one holds you. You feel no safety in your heart, so threatened and weak. Hiding in the quiet shadows, suffering alone. No gentle words, no one to soothe you. No one to help you sleep when you're afraid. Cursing yourself for pushing others away, cursing others for such lack of attention, Caring. Only wanting that warmth, your heart frozen. Where is everyone? Why do I always cry alone? If I died tomorrow...would I be missed? Deep in the ground, my loneliness consumes me. Is there more? Or is this it? I'd die to know the answer. Prizm In darkness, this pain is magnified. Inescapable, my mind tortured, anxieties rule my thoughts. My heart and soul revolving around what it cannot heal. In vein so many times before, trying to heal this pain. Tragedy, embedded in my mind, only distant memories remaining. But enough to haunt me, wake me in the night. In self-pity I drown, tears of regret freezing to my skin in cold moonlight. Burned by this memory, hate forcing me to remember. Wanting nothing more than to forget, but unable. I can't escape my own mind, where I am trapped. So I face it every night, my worst enemy is Myself. Vision of Beauty Lush, velvet rose. Deep crimson, so many secrets locked within. Draw back your layers, peel your soul. Reveal this sweet inner core, your precious being. Thorns drawing blood, such strong resistance, pain showers your outer world. Forget this threat, in time all will die. Open up to the world, you have much to give. Each soft petal exposed, so fragile to this light, holds much beauty. Gentle beyond words, quickly withering in the sun. Die, yet die with grace. Revealing what beauty remains in such a harsh world. Misty rains feed the soil of your birth, you return to it. Preparing to spring gentle beauty from the earth once again, what little remains to be seen. Your frailty withered you quickly, you did not die in vein. You were seen, if only a glance, And gave hope to eyes that had yet to behold true beauty. Bargained with Dark Eternity Loneliness consumed, tainted my fragile soul. Refusal of darkness left me paralyzed. Desiring to be desired, dead without love. A presence so meaningless, so unwanted in a harsh world. Tears of grief shed for all that was lost, dissapointed in my pathetic image. The will existing far off, strength buried and forgotten. Dead to the world, desperate for a sign. A figure came in the night, in dreams, images of such beauty rolling off my eyes. Such strength like I had never seen, teasing and testing the faint love I had left. Pale flesh uncovered in the moonlight, revealing my weaknesses, what I was, I was weak. Pain driven into me, scarring a tender psyche. The dark temptation too great to resist, an ideal of perfect ecstacy, perfect love, flawless in the shadows. Tricked imagination, fast working illusion, believing I had found something, love, in a darker form. Taking me, leaving me, alone I am again. With less than I had before, my soul is gone. A gift given unwillingly to the night. Lonely, I am no more, with a new appetite for life. Finnaly realizing I had traded, bargained for my life. This is your life Blood spills the colors of my emotions. A tainted mixture of hate and pain. I release this before my eyes, and watch it flow. Watching a story told of my life. Reflections living for me, too fast to hold. I want to touch, stop time. But the warm blood runs cold now, I cannot stop what has happened. No memories too good to hold me back, no love to keep me company. I'll leave with this hole so deep, an empty spot in my heart. Consuming me. I consume myself, and give up hope. The loneliness swallowed me, I froze in this dark world. The colors so hypnotizing, I lay and watch them whisper to me my ending. Ending this story too bitter to remember. Far off Quiet reflection, time to think spread across an open plain. A canvas of dreams, and realities. Eyes open to a future so distant. Hopes filling a lonely heart, cold and forgotten. Possibilities too far to reach, and something's always holding me down. In dreams so beautiful it comes apparent, I live what I long to feel. This life so hopeful and new. Fighting to claim my life, release it from its pain. And I'll die trying, not wanting to live what I hate. Half Hearted Shadow of a being, lifeless and forgotten. Afraid of who you are, of what you could be. Living in fear, hiding your heart. Shielding yourself from the dangers that lurk around every corner, yet lurking in your own mind as well. This pain eats you alive, the willingness to grow buried deep within. This desire to live, trapped inside a mask of pain. Suffering from the past, these memories stand in your way. Hold you back from the one you must become to survive. The ability to flourish gone in this sea of anger. Facing up to the sun burns you, preferring the safety in shadows. Will you one day remove your mask? Reveal this face to your own eyes, and see. Undead Turn your back on me, love another. This loneliness I've tasted so many times before, lingering in my heart. I won't miss you, feeling sorry for myself. Tears falling for the feelings of inadequacy, what I've done or said wrong. Why I wasn't good enough. The mirrors reflect a pathetic shadow, and I fear them more than death. The disdain in my own eyes for myself, for the one I do not love. I cannot keep what I love, unknowing of the motives behind this pain, such tragic irony. I watch such precious things slip through my fingers, and out of my heart. This cold undead stone reminds me why I cry. Reminds me of the hate I feel for my very soul. And reminds me why I am alone. Empty Existence This cold shadow, cast of my transparent form. Following me around every turn, all the distance, everyday of my life. Not a friend, nor an enemy, but simply a reminder of the loneliness I live. Wandering so aimlessly, so lost and alone. The emptiness swallows me, I drown in my tears. Screams of despair so deafening, shattering the frail glass that shields my eyes. And a reality so harsh I die on the spot. Any motives for life long buried. The accumulation of success, relationships, as frozen as my heart. Trophies lined in a hall I wander, glimmers of shallowness. The numbness in my heart becomes a stabbing pain. And once again my loneliness haunts me. I wonder if the ears of those around me were always turned away, their eyes as well. When I fell to my knees begging, pleading for life. Why didn't they see? Why didn't they hear, or feel. My existence meant nothing to them, yet they pitied me for the life I never lived. And I wonder who is to blame, for this loneliness and shame. Sad Dependency Doubting the only one for which you should truly care. Doubting their abilities, their intelligence, their heart. Living on your own would take of you the fear and anxiety, and crush you with it. Strangle you with your own pain. Shadows frighten you, darkness keeps you cold. And so you live in this strong dependency for another. Their soul becomes your own. No amount of neglect would dismay you, no amount of hurt. As long as their company is a reminder you're not alone, they may be your own worst enemy. Your heart remains unaware that you do not deserve this. If you only loved yourself you could love alone, live alone. Your survival does not depend on someone else. Yet your mind shows you otherwise, and your fear eats you alive. This dark dependency shows your doubt, of your own mind. You do not love yourself, and deny importance of your soul. You are unimportant, without standing in another's shadow.