On Life Teen
I've decided to write this analysis of the Life Teen program as an expression of my opinion, as is stated on my home page. Please note that I've spent my entire life involved in the Catholic Church from being an altar server to producing films - in conjunction with SCP - to working closely with the youth minister himself. I only state my opinion if I am clearly and distinctly knowledgeable of the topic discussed, so do not doubt my standing as to whether or not I've experienced Life Teen's connection with the Holy Spirit or any other aspect thereof. Rest assured that I know what I'm talking about based on, not only my experiences, but the experiences of those whom I've met over the years. Please, read on.
Please keep in mind that this page points out what MAY go awry in life teen and in no way do I claim that all life teen programs or the people involved fall prey to what I've said on this page. This is a page of opinion based on empirical knowledge. It is, admittedly, rather negative and may seem to be disparaging life teen as a program. All negative things that I've said here are rooted in excess, misuse of the life teen program, and a lack of "self." The program itself is extremely strong and a gift to today's MTV-laden generation. Please know that I owe a great deal of my sense of "self" to life teen and feel nothing but gratitude for the program's guidance and help. I will have a page up dealing with the incredible strengths of life teen soon.
What are the roots of Life Teen?
I remember hearing Fr. Dale say that he started LT because he noticed that teens were not as excited about their faith as they should be. He noticed more and more teens falling to sin and looking for a way out. Even though these teens were looking, they couldn't find the Catholic Church to help them through life. This prompted Fr. Dale to start the LT Program, to bring teens to Christ through the Eucharist. With the help of others, Fr. Dale began the LT Program in Mesa, AZ and it's grown from there. Now, because in a logical argument, one's memory may not be admitted as support, you can check the official website for the story right from Mesa.
*** Fr. Dale began Life Teen to bring teens to Christ. Life Teen affords teens the opportunity to spend time with people with strong faiths rather than "hanging out with the wrong crowd."
What makes Life Teen work?
The first element a parish needs for LT to work is a strong priest to lead. Some say, a strong priest isn't even needed, just the power of the Holy Spirit. However, if a priest is not strong in his faith, he may not have the patience needed to direct such a complex program. If a priest does not care how the program is run, then the program will suffer. The Holy Spirit cannot make anyone do anything. This is part of Free Will. Everyone has the option to do God's will or not to do God's will.
The second element a parish needs is a strong youth minister. The youth minister must work directly with the music minister, the priest, and the core team. The youth minister is the mediator between these positions and holds the administrative team together. The youth minister is the most demanding position in Life Teen. He/She must be personable yet respected, entertaining yet disciplined, conservative yet open to opinions, and, in most cases, thrifty while spending as much is needed. I do not envy the youth minister.
The third element is a strong core team. The core team members are the hands and feet of the youth minister - as we are the hands and feet of Christ. They must work for the youth minister. The core team is the creative center of the program with the priest and the youth minister acting as editors. The core team is responsible for the flow of life nights as well as logistics before, during, and after.
The "no dating" rule
No core member may be in a relationship or date another core member unless the relationship or dating period began before becoming a core member. Not abiding by this rule is cause for dismissal.
Why:
1. When two people are in a relationship, whether or not they interact with each other at the Life Nights, their demeanors change. They do not focus as well as they ought which will hurt the quality of the life nights.
2. If dating is allowed, there is a great possibility that the teens may attempt to set two core members up on a date. In this case, the teens are not fully concentrated on learning about God and the LT program is not doing what it's set out to do.
3. New people may want to become core members so as to get a date with another single Christian. Life Teen is not a singles club. Also, new people may join so as to get a date with an existing core member.
4. If the two separate during their tenure as core members, the friction between the two, granted that neither leaves, will be clearly visible to the teens, again taking attention away from the night.
5. There is a great possibility that the relationship may become the reason why one of the two remains a core member. The "I'll go if you go" and "I"ll stay as long as you stay" and "I'm only going because he/she will be there" mindset will destroy the person's willingness to participate effectively and to the best of his/her abilities.
The youth minister and core team relationship
The youth minister must run the program as an administrator and as a friend - to an extent. The core team must respect the youth minister as a superior while maintaining a cordial attitude towards the youth minister. It is necessary to keep in mind why the youth minister is involved in life teen and why the core members are in life teen. This is drawn from why life teen is in existence. As mentioned earlier, life teen was designed to provide a venue through which teens may encounter Christ and come to know Him through the Eucharist's and the Holy Spirit's power. The role of the youth minister is that of an administrator, disciplinarian, spiritual guide, and overall leader. To be a youth minister as well as everyone's friend is not necessary and, as I will address later, has the potential of being one of the destructive forces in a life teen program. Both the youth minister and the core team are in life teen to reach the teens, nothing more, nothing less. The goal of informing the teens about their faith and allowing God to work through the life nights must be the priority of both the youth minister and the core team. Any friendships formed herein may lead to hurting the program.
The friendship between a core member and a youth minister must be based on one another, not the program. To explain, a friendship based on one another is that which would be so, regardless of life teen. A close friendship between the youth minister and a core member must, necessarily, be based on experiences independent of life teen and mutually exclusive from anything having to do with life teen. A friendship based on the program, however, would need life teen in order to exist. In this case, try to remember each friend that you had in grade school, high school, college, and grad school. Now, try to remember each friend you had at your first job, your second, your third, and your carreer now. Now think of how often you talk to each of those people today. Now think of why you talked to each of those people back then. One of the first things needed for a friendship - any kind of friendship - is time spent in the same vicinity (Aristotle mentions "friendship of utility" in his Ethics). When a core member is active and works closely with the youth minister, both of these criteria are fulfilled. The youth minister and the core member grow close, not necessarily because they enjoy each other as people, as individuals, but because they spend so much time together. Moreover, if a night goes extremely well and the teens are touched, this emotional high becomes associated with the people present, drawing them seemingly closer together. This is not a basis upon which anyone should build a friendship. In this case - as it too often is - either the core member or the youth minister oversteps the bounds of acceptability in terms of life teen protocol. This leads to a deterioration of the rules. More importantly, it leads to a loss of focus. Eventually, the friendship may be used as a crutch to survive through stressful times which would lead to a decline in the quality of life nights. When service is no longer the priority in either the youth minister's or the core member's mindset, that person should step down and review his/her priorities.
Core and teen relationship
The core team's purpose is to be the vessel through which the Holy Spirit works. The teens will look up to the core members, naturally, merely because they are older and have more experience. The teens will tend to listen when a core member is serious and play when a core member is not. The teens will react to the tone set by the core team. The core team must remain in control and hold the interest of the teens.
Holding the interest of the teens does not mean that a life night has to be entertaining, it just has to be interesting. The entertainment factor should be seen as something "extra" for the night, not the main goal of the night - unless, of course, it's a social night. For a night to be interesting, it must appeal to the teens' nature. The core team must speak both "at" and "with" them. The teens must know that the core team is in control but the teens must also know that the core team is a group of older individuals from whom they can seek counsel and comfort.
However, the core members are not psychologists, they are not mediators between children and parents, they are not best friends. The core members must not establish a friendship with any teen beyond one similar to a teen's frienship with a "cool" teacher. To develop such a friendship means sacrificing that teen's interest in life teen. This friendship gives the teen an "out" through which they may run if they need. For example, if their interest is not held during a life night, they may, throughout the duration of the night, only look forward to talking to that certain core member after the life night. This shifts the focus of the teens from God to friendship with a core member.
No one can change the teens
The most important fact to keep in mind as an administrator or core member in life teen is that no one, no matter what anyone does, can change the teens. Anything anyone does will be taken into consideration and pondered by the teens, but they ultimately make the decision as to whether or not to change. NO ONE CAN CHANGE THE TEENS. It is not the responsibility of the core member or the youth minister to be the sole confidante of any teen. It is not the responsibility of the core member or the youth minister to attempt to solve all of a teen's problems. It is not the responsibility of the core member or the youth minister to be the most influential person in a teen's life. NO ONE CAN CHANGE THE TEENS. The teens should not attend mass so that they may see their friend who happens to be an administrator in life teen. The teens should not go to life nights so that they may "hang out" with the core team and the youth minister after the night. The teens should have close friends other than those in life teen. The teens should be well adjusted teens, not programmed worshippers. NO ONE CAN CHANGE THE TEENS. NO ONE CAN CHANGE THE TEENS. NO ONE CAN CHANGE THE TEENS. A person can only change one thing in life, the self. People may see, hear, or read influential things, but they have the power to discount it or hold it close. Change in one's life is solely the result of that person's willingness to change given the guidance and example of others. ONLY THE TEEN CAN CHANGE THE TEEN, NOTHING ELSE.
Cliques
The inevitable formation of cliques is the inherent flaw in lifeteen. A clique is a small, exclusive group of people that separates itself from the larger group, leaving a middle ground of superficial, common talk, which is the clique's only connection to the larger group. The most important aspect of the clique is that there is no intent to allow others to be a part of the clique, nor is there any intent to be part of the larger group unconditionally. This mindset is a direct result of "living Life Teen."
When teens experience life teen's social life, friendships develop. When teens experience a deep spiritual communion with God - with others present - their tendency is to connect the feeling felt by being close to God with those people present. This results in the teens' spending more and more time with those who were around them when they felt God's presence, for the purpose of being reminded of the divine feeling. This results in the teens' relationship with God eventually being contingent upon being around those with whom they shared their individual communions with God. The point here is that teens - and core members, for that matter - tend to value the friendships - based mainly on their own individual experiences in the same place, mind you - between fellow "life teen-ers" because they associate the friendship with love from God, making their friends the only door through which they can reach God. This communal relationship with God - which I term "living Life Teen" - is extremely unhealthy and destructive and is, ironically, born out of the initial individual connection with God.
When "living Life Teen," cliques develop - if they've not already developed. Those who "live Life Teen" and are in cliques may be amiable, friendly, and welcoming to new-comers. However, this does not discount that they are in cliques. Cliques will ostracize anyone not a part of the initial clique and judge others who show interest in being part of the clique, deeming them either acceptable or unacceptable. The destructive nature is two-fold.
Firstly, cliques will not fully acknowledge those not in the clique, making new-comers, in the long run, feel ostracized, and rightfully so. Secondly, cliques will - as is their way - begin and carry on conflicts with other cliques. The most destructive aspect of cliques is that teens will soon see life teen as an opportunity to meet with friends rather than an opportunity to encounter Christ. The formation of cliques, in the teens or in the core, destroys the program from inside and completely stops the program from doing what it was meant to do: help teens develop an intimate relationship with God.
The importance of testimonies
A person's testimony is the most powerful key that a person has to reaching the hearts of others. Telling others one's life story, noting every painful and glorious detail, reveals that person's willingness to be vulnerable to a group of people - or one person. Vulnerability comes with telling one's testimony. The speaker knows that the group may laugh or reject him/her. The speaker has no control over how the group will react to his/her testimony and the group knows this.
The group's acknowledgment of the speaker's willingness to be vulnerable in front of them results in the group's sympathy and attention. The group will appreciate the speaker's honesty and "chutzpah." I cannot explain the power of the testimony, especially from those to whom people look for guidance.
The most powerful testimonies come from those who are thought to be on a pedestal in the eyes of most, if not all. The testimony makes a person of relative power "real" and approachable.
NEVER LIVE LIFE TEEN
I wish someone had told me this piece of advice four years ago. I'd always been involved in my parish. I'd been an altar server since fourth grade, worked in the rectory from seventh to twelfth grade, and spent almost all of my time at my parish either working or hanging out with the clergy and the other parish workers. My spiritual life had involved my time spent working and hanging out with those at my parish, and my mother's obligatory family prayer time at night. I knew all the logistics of the Catholic faith, but I never experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit. In my sophomore year of high school, I had the typical immature mindset: I MUST be accepted at all costs. I needed to be accepted because I didn't know who I was as yet and I needed others' opinions about me to tell me who I was and whether or not I was "good." Eventually, I lost myself. I became the person everyone expected me to be, not myself. That summer, my parish priest sent me and four other teens to Discipleship Week - commonly known as D-Week. There, I felt the Holy Spirit. And, I felt the Holy Spirit with many other people around. Right after D-Week, my friend and I started driving an hour away from our homes just to spend time with those who were on the retreat. We went out every weekend, and, for about two or three weeks, we went out every day, with the same people from the retreat. We wrote letters, we spent hours on the phone, we did everything just as they did. Then, Life Teen began at our parish and we were thrilled. We were involved from the beginning. About a year of this way of life went by. Then, around the time of my senior year, I stopped hanging out with these D-Week friends of mine. I just stopped. I prayed more than ever and worked through some of the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises. I developed a "self." Months later, I went to "Mass at the Beach." I was disgusted. As I looked around the congregation, I noticed something I'd never noticed before. A lot of the people there were raising their hands and singing loudly and getting on their knees because that's what was considered socially acceptable in their peer group. LT was a fad to them. Although the "act" seemed valid, the "intent" proved it false. I'd never felt so much emptiness from a group of people putting on the show of praying as I did that day. It's one of my worst memories. After the mass, I asked several friends of mine about what I felt and they said that they felt the same thing from the congregation. However, when I asked a person who I believed was putting on the show of praying, that person felt that it was the best mass ever.
There's a comfort zone in life teen that is deadly. I used to be all about life teen and hanging out and being a holy roller. I didn't know that I was there for the wrong reasons at the time. I didn't know that I'd based my faith on the relationship I had with people in the program. Everything I did and said had to do with God, but in a false way. I would constantly speak of going on NET, but in a false way. I would relate everything that ever happened to a person to some sort of spiritual awakening, but in a false way. To me, at that time, fellowship equalled and was necessary for faith. I didn't believe in God from my heart, I believed in God through other people's hearts, some of whom believed in God through other people's hearts as well.. This comfort zone of life teen is not recognized until the person has left. To live life teen is to live one's life blinded by life teen's temporary relief from reality. To these peole there is no reality in Life Teen as a program. The world is not like it is in the life house or at life mass or at life nights. The world is completely different and, if a person does not know his/her "self," then that person is going to fall into the worst pitfall of life teen: living life teen.
The mass is a prayer between you and God, most often held with others around. The mass is a personal prayer that is shared in community. There can, however, be a mass with just one person and the priest. I think that to make my point clear, I need to validate a life teen catch phrase: "The MASS never ends. IT must be lived. So let us go out to praise and serve the Lord. Alleluia. Alleluia." For the sake of yourselves, live the mass, not life teen.
Source: www.geocities.com/RTAugie777/OnLifeTeen.html
(C) 2000 RighTings(R)