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"Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."
~Rev. Pat Robertson~
"Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy."
~George Bernard Shaw~
"An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger."
~Dan Rather~
"I will choose what enters me, what becomes flesh of my flesh. Without choice, no politics, no ethics live."
~Marge Piercy~
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
~Eleanor Roosevelt~
"Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul."
~Mark Twain~
"Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people... it is true that most stupid people are conservatives."
~John Stuart Mill~
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
~A. Whitney Brown~
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny ...'"
~Isaac Asimov~
"If I do not return to the pulpit this weekend, millions of people will go to hell."
~Jimmy Swaggart~
"Of all the varieties of virtues, liberalism is the most beloved."
~Aristotle~
"The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'"
~Roy Blount Jr.~
"God was my co-pilot...But we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him."
~bumper sticker~
"Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense."
~Voltaire~
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
~Vice President Dan Quayle~
"I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of."
~Clarence Darrow~
"A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward."
~Franklin Delano Roosevelt~
"The art of flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
~Douglas Adams~
"In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die
unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that
their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the
record, God has stated that 'if I had wanted to ice the little toad, I
would have done it a long time ago."
~Dennis Miller~
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
~Inigo Montoya~ (The Princess Bride)
"We all eventually become who we pretend to be, so you'd best pretend to be someone you can live with."
~Xena~ (Xena- Warrior Princess)
"Patience is the cornerstone of wisdom."
~Papa Smurf~
"I don't want to have to tell some eight year-old kid that he's got to sleep in the street because we want people to feel better about their cars."
~Dave~ (Dave)
"Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it."
~Chief Seattle~
"I like to think of myself as one of the happy generations."
~Albert~ (Twin Peaks)
"Mother told me never to eat singing food."
~Rizzo~ (The Muppet Christmas Carol)
"Jim Bakker spells his name with 2 k's because 3 would be too obvious."
~Bill Maher~
"Peace is not an absence of war: It is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice."
~Spinoza~
"Love makes you do the wacky."
~Willow~ (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
"God wouldn't be up this late."
~The Plague~ (Hackers)
"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior
moral justification for selfishness."
~John Kenneth Galbraith~
"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated."
~Gandhi~
"The world would be a better place if all the great leaders spent a little more time on the potty."
~Space Ghost's mom~ (Space Ghost)
"No synonym for God is so perfect as beauty."
~John Muir~
"All conservatives are such from personal defects. They have been effeminated by position or nature, born halt and blind,
through luxury of their parents, and can only, like invalids, act on the defensive."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
"While we ourselves are the living graves of murdered beasts, how can we expect any ideal conditions on this earth?"
~George Bernard Shaw~
"Charisma: It's a special quality of leadership that captures the popular imagination, and inspires allegiance and devotion."
~Crawl~ (Son-in Law)
"I didn't want you guys to think I was stuffy. You know, no fun- all brain, no penis."
~Chris Knight~ (Real Genius)
"The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round. For I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church."
~Ferdinand Magellan~
"I gave her my heart, and she gave me a pen."
~Lloyd Dobbler~(Say Anything)
"They FUCK you at the drive-thru!"
~Leo Getz~ (Lethal Weapon 2)
"This is one time when television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather."
~Phil Connors~ (Groundhog Day)
"The more you can increase fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all people."
~Noam Chomsky~
"Mr. President, I'm sure there's an appropriate thing to say at this moment- probably some formal apology for the 'nice ass' remark would be in order."
~Sydney Ellen Wade~ (The American President)
"What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know. It's what we know for sure that just ain't so."
~Yogi Berra~
"I feel much freer now that I am certain the pope is the Antichrist."
~Martin Luther~
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