Conversations with Jack and Diane
Friendship or Possession
Jack sat with his legs dangling from the pier, the smell of
fresh fish in the air. The morning auction would start soon, and
the tranquility of the new day would be lost until dawn came again
tomorrow.
He looked up at the gray cloudy sky, the silver sun behind
the misty clouds still bright enough to make him turn his face from
it’s glow. He closed his eyes and waited for the burn upon their
surface to desolve itself back into focus. When he opened them
again she was standing there beside him, her long tanned legs
sinewy and bare all the way up to her thighs until finally the soft
flow of silken shorts covered her most inviting loins.
“Good morning Jack,” Diane greeted. He just stared up at
her, unwilling to return the morning pleasantry.
“Oh come on Jack. You can’t still be angry at me?” she
frowned, sitting lightly beside him, the same long legs that stood a
moment before now dangling alongside Jack’s as they both sat
upon the eeriely quiet pier.
Jack pouted and turned away, he could not look into her
blue eyes. He just couldn’t if he wanted to keep his indignation
intact.
“Jack, you are being silly,” Diane informed him, her gaze
locked on his strong face. Her own face blushing warm with
frustration. He refused to respond.
The roadside traffic swished by like rain sleek wraiths,
their echoing tires whispering loudly on the wet asphalt.
“This is stupid Jack,” she tried again. “You are angry with
me because for once I wanted to spend time with a friend other
than you.” It was her turn to pout now. “You are being a silly
little boy. In fact,” she pointed out. “You are acting like a spoiled
brat!!” She folded her arms across her chest and settled in for the
long haul.
The rainy morning droned on as the pair of silent sentinels
stared out at the drizzled sea, each determined to out-do the other
in a contest of wills. It was Jack who cracked first.
“I don’t play second fiddle very well,” he offered slowly,
his smooth, crisp voice oddly vacant in the grasp of the quiet pier.
“You are never second fiddle with me Jack,” Diane assured
him.
“Oh come off it Di,” he waved errantly. “I’m merely a
convenience for you. Here when you need me, but entirely
dismissed when there is someone else better to be had.”
Diane looked down at her dangling legs, blue eyes
narrowing as she breathed deeply.
“You sure know how to hurt a friend Jack,” she uttered
softly, her tone strong and angry.
“I could say the very same for you my sweet,” Jack
retaliated.
Diane turned her glare on him. “Do you honestly expect
me to have no other friends in my life except you? Do you really
feel that it is fair for you to get angry at me just because at times I
need to talk and discuss things with someone other than you?”
Jack nodded his head slowly. “I really do think it is fair,
yes,” he replied.
Diane’s lips parted, but words eluded her at that moment.
“What’s the matter,” Jack injected. “What’s his name got
your tongue?”
“You bastard,” Diane whispered, her cerulean eyes mere
slits of anger. “You are really making me angry Jack. For the first
time in our friendship I feel a real dislike for you right now.”
“It’s all part of the process babe,” he assured her.
“What the hell are you talking about?” she exploded, her
high, melodic voice bouncing off the auction block walls.
Jack shrugged. “It’s simple,” he answered. “Before you
broke-off the friendship, you must feign anger with me. You will
want to convince yourself of that dislike as a way to rationalize the
closing of our relationship. It is obvious, wouldn’t you say?” He
smiled tauntingly.
“You are just impossible Jack,” she shook her head. “You
are the most possessive man I have ever known.”
“And the rationalization marches on,” he needled.
“No!” Diane flared. “I don’t need to rationalize anything.
Our friendship is solid. Its been built over years of sharing and
communicating.”
“Only now,” Jack persisted. “You prefer to share with
someone other than me.”
“Not true,” Diane battled.
“Uh huh,” Jack nodded. “It is in fact very true.”
“How can you sit there and say that to me Jack,” she asked.
“You hurt me so deeply you can’t even imagine.”
“I think not as deeply as the lonely dread I felt when you
abandoned me for close contact with another.” He shook his
head slowly, sadly. “The pit of my stomach felt like it would sink
forever. I couldn’t even catch my breath as every fiber within me
trembled for you.” He chuckled softly. “Sounds crazy doesn’t it?”
he asked with a wayward smile.
“I don’t understand Jack,” Diane tried to explain. “I never
abandoned you my love.”
“Oh but you did Di. You took from me the one intimacy
that I thought was mine alone. The intimacy of communication.”
He chuckled sardonically again. “I thought, evidently incorrectly,
that I was the only person that could help you express the feelings
we all need to express; but which usually don’t get divulged
because we never find that one special person to share it with.” He
took a deep breath. “I thought I was that special person for you.”
His gaze dropped to the shimmering surface of the bay.
Diane’s perfect blue eyes held the gloss of tears. She
pursed her lips to keep from crying. But there were words she
needed to speak, and she did.
“You are one manipulative bastard Jack,” she whispered
forcefully. “Full of yourself, and without regard for the feelings of
others.”
“Not true,” Jack injected.
“Yes true!” she shouted. “How dare you question my
comitment to our friendship! I shouldn’t have to prove myself to
you any longer. After all the times we have laughed and cried
together. After the sharing of our deepest fears, our deepest
desires. Our most private thoughts. Thoughts we wouldn’t even
share with god, we shared with each other. And still you have the
god damned balls to look me in the eyes and tell me that I’m trying
to rationalize my way out of this friendship.” She held her hands
up, palms spread open, as she took a deep breath to calm herself.
“You are so fucking full of shit Jack!” she growled softly, her eyes
scanning the still empty auction yard for any sign of life. “I have
no idea what possesses you to think the way you do sometimes.”
Jack scratched his head absently, and blinked as he raised
his gaze to the flawless face of his best friend.
“But what about the pit of my stomach?” he asked, his
fox-brown eyes sincere with expectation.
“What?” Diane frowned.
“No matter how much you conclude my actions as
manipulative. And no matter even that to a degree I agree that I
am. And after all the possessive crap, and all the childish
nonsense. After all of those failings on my part Diane. There is
still the matter of the dread I feel in my gut when you deny me the
confidence of your intimacy.”
“But I have never denied you that Jack.”
“Perhaps not in so many words,” he assured her. “But
when you choose someone else to confide in, I lose the connection
that makes you mine.”
“You are doing it again Jack,” Diane instructed him.
“Doing what?” he asked.
“Manipulating me,” she replied.
“But manipulation is to try and influence by deception. I
have never deceived you when it comes to my feelings for you Di.”
“You do not manipulate me in that sense Jack. But instead
you manipulate your unjustified reactions to my having other
friends. You manipulate the existence of guilt inside of me
because I have friends other than you. And that isn’t fair Jack.
Not to me. And not to you.”
Jack stood up slowly, reaching for Diane’s hand and
helping her to her feet as she accepted. He brushed the silky
golden strands from her cheeks and held her face gently in his
fingertips.
“Sometimes I lose sight of your importance to my life.
Sometimes our friendship becomes something I use to measure my
own worth. Even when I know it isn’t fair to hold you responsible
for my own feelings of inadequacy, I do.” He paused for a moment
and just held her beautiful gaze. “And I’m sorry...”
His fingers slowly traced the soft line of her jaw toward her
delicate chin until they broke their warm contact with her marbled
skin. “Forgive me..?” he pleaded.
“Yes,” Diane assured him. “This time I will.”
Jack absorbed the warning and gripped it’s implications.
“Thank you,” he whispered, his arm gliding around her
waist as they departed the lonesome auction pier...
The End
Unpublished Works © 1997 GJB
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