Conversations With Jack & Diane

                         Rainy Contemplation

	Rain poured down like a rush of natural sorrow.  Clouds
rolled and roiled like angry mists of thought, the wind howling like
a wounded beast.  And all of this in the splendid paradise of Hawaii.
	Jack huddled himself deep inside the dug-out.  He’d made
his way to the park for a softball game, and as usual he was early. 
No one else had arrived yet, and if the weather was any indication,
no one else would.  But still he waited.  Partly because he liked to
play so much, and partly because the run back to the car would
surely soak him to the bone.  So he sat, all alone with his thoughts.
	With inevitable grace those thoughts turned to Diane.  He
couldn’t help it.  She was something akin to winning the lottery. 
He cherished her.  But wasn’t he a married man?  Why was it that
Diane was the one who captured his thoughts and not Jan?
	The guilt of it all had been building up for quite some time. 
He loved Jan.  He was certain of that.  But when it came to Diane,
there were always these waves of emotion that he felt compelled to
quell as he wrested with the commitment he had made to another. 
And that "other" was a wonderful, beautiful woman in her own
right.  Every bit as grand as Diane.  But still...there was something
special about Diane that he could not deny.  She held a very warm 
place in his heart.  A place so deep and silent that until she came
along he didn’t realize the depth to which he could love.  A place
of no little passion.  A place reserved for a single soul which could
meld with his.
	Was he in love with Diane?  Truly and completely in love
with her?
	Of course, he already knew the answer to that question.  He
was her’s for the asking.  But he knew her well enough to know
she never would.  Another reason he loved her so.
	Oh but the conflicting loyalties that tore at him were
becoming harder and harder to live with.  And what was the
answer to this dilemma?  He dared not even think of it...
	“Hey mister...” called a sweet voice from above.  Was it an
angel?  “Penny for your thoughts,” Diane smiled tenderly.  Indeed
it was an angel.
	Jack looked up into the bluest pair of eyes he’d ever
seen.  He knew these eyes so well.  They were the eyes of love to
him.  The pools of color he dreamt of.  The softly lit doorways to a
very special soul.
	“My thoughts aren’t worth paying for,” he chuckled softly,
taking her delicate hand into his as he helped her down the stairs
into the tiny, dim dugout.  She propped the dripping umbrella against
the waist-high hollow tile retaining wall.
	“Are you alright Jack?” she asked.
	“Sure.  Why do you ask?” he shrugged.
	“You had a strange look on your face a moment ago...”
	He smiled slowly.  “I’m fine sweeti.  Just doing a little soul
searching is all.”
	“And did you find anything?” she probed gently.
	“Huh?”
	“Was the search successful?” she elaborated.  “Did your
soul searching turn up anything worthwhile?”
	They sat down next to each other on the low wooden
bench.
	“Well...” Diane persisted, her intuition pushing her on.
	“I learned one irrefutable truth,” he assured her.
	“And what was that Jack?” she pressed, her soft lips parting
slightly as she waited.
	He turned to face her.  He paused for a moment, letting her
beauty wash over him.  “That I love you,” he answered softly.  “I
mean...I’m In Love with you Diane.  And I don’t know what to do
with this love.  Where to go with it, you know?”
	“Funny you should have reached such a conclusion,” she
uttered, turning away silently.  “As I was driving here, in this
downpour, my thoughts were of you Jack.  And I reached the same
conclusion.”
	“Really?” he pressed.
	“Yes Jack.  I’m In Love with you as well.  Of course, I
think we both knew as much a long time ago.”
	“Indeed,” he agreed.  They sat for a few minutes, no words
passing between them until Jack offered...
	“So what do we do now?” he asked, his gaze drifting to the
sandy dugout floor.
	“Nothing Jack.  We do absolutely nothing about it.”  She
demanded his gaze.  His eyes rose.  “And do you want me to tell
you why?” she probed.
	“I wish you would Diane,” he frowned, his gaze focussing
on her lovely face.
	“Because we are both commited to other people.  And if
we, either of us, try to walk away from those commitments, a lot of
people are gonna get hurt.  People that we love Jack.  People that
we care about...”  She held his wrinkled gaze.
	“But what about us?” he pursued.  “Don’t we deserve to
share the love we feel?”
	“Oh but we do Jack.  As friends...”
	“But I feel as if I need more Diane.  You’re in my thoughts
constantly.  I see your face in everything I do.  In every cloud that
drifts in the sky.  In every breeze that touches me.  In every sunset
that falls at dusk.  How can I deny these feelings without destroying the
friendship?”
	“I don’t know Jack,” she admitted.  “But we’ve got to try or
we’ll lose each other completely.”
	He took her hand in his, feeling the love that was there.
	“It’s not going to be easy,” he acknowledged softly.
	“Nothing worth having ever is,” she replied.
	“Indeed...” he echoed, their thoughts of love drifting out
amongst the lonely raindrops.


                                  The End



Unpublished Works © 1997 GJB


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