Conversation With Jack & Diane
Suddenly Sunday
The little red brick church sat like a cozy cousin next to the
towering professional building all decked-out in glass and steel. It
was early Sunday morning and the gleaming monstrocity stood
quiet as it’s lesser neighbor began to see it’s weekly allotment of
foot traffic begin to trickle in.
The parishioners were dressed in their sunday best, the
warm hawaiian sunrise serving to paint them all with a golden
glow.
Father Francisco greeted each soul with his usual saintly
smile. He was about to turn toward the chapel when he spotted a
familiar pair approaching. It was Jack and Diane. He wondered
where their respective spouces were? And of course, Diane’s
charming daughter Becky. He shrugged, oh well. At least the both
of them had showed up. The others would surely follow. He
wished them both a glorious good morning, all three disappearing
into the warm, sun dappled chapel.
Once inside the small church, Jack and Diane found space
in one of the middle pews. They knelt and blessed themselves
before shuffling in to the end of the empty bench, Jack against the
cool brick wall.
“Not exactly my idea of a fun morning,” he quipped,
pulling the hymn book from it’s little sleeve on the back of the
forward pew. He pursed his lips and slouched in his seat.
“Sit up straight Jack!” Diane whispered, her deameanor
reminding Jack of the nuns that use to constantly remind him to
sit-up back when cathocism was a wednesday afternoon treat away
from school. Some treat he chuckled quietly. He smiled at Diane.
“Yes Sister,” he obeyed, still frowning as he adjusted
himself to an upright position. “You’d think the Vatican could
spring for some air conditioning,” he grumbled, replacing the
hymn book and draping his right arm across the back of the bench,
his fingertips lightly resting on Diane’s right shoulder.
“Shhhh,” she hushed. “Have a little respect wiil you.” She
scowled playfully, her full lips widening into a smile, her eyes
closing slowly as she admonished him again with her expression.
“Too bad Fred and Jan couldn’t be here,” he offered.
“Then perhaps all three of you could have ganged-up to give
decorum lessons to poor ignorant Jack...” He pinched his smile
back against his cheeks and folded his arms across his chest.
“Your acting like a child,” Diane scolded softly. “What’s
the matter with you?” Her tone was surprizingly serious.
“Churches make me uncomfortable,” he answered, turning
his gaze on the stained glass windows which painted multi-colored
murals on the faces of all the parishioners close enough to be
caught within their pigmented shadows. “All this religion isn’t
good for the soul...”
“Blasphemy will get you an invitation to hell,” Diane
nodded knowingly, her smile returning, but only for a moment as
her gaze drifted again toward the alter and Father Francisco.
“Hell ain’t all that bad,” he assured her. “I might even get
to meet Marilyn.”
“Marilyn?” Diane squinted.
“Monroe,” Jack answered.
“Why in heaven’s name would you think Marilyn Monroe
was in hell?” she probed, her brow wrinkling sweetly.
Jack shrugged. “She committed suicide, didn’t she? And
isn’t it against the holy-roller code to do that? Punishment for
which is certain removal from the UP list with instant transfer
privileges to the dreaded DOWN files?” He paused for a moment,
arching his brow rapidly as he sought to irritate Diane.
“Although,” he offered for effect. “The Kennedy conspiracy
theory does seem to be credible enough.” He shrugged and
winked, totally impressed by the annoyed blush he had put on
Diane’s gorgeous face.
“Oh stop being an asshole Jack,” she reprimanded. “If you
didn’t want to be here you shouldn’t have said yes when I asked
you.”
He gasped in feigned shock. “You swore in church!” he
grinned mockingly, nudging Diane tauntingly. “Looks like I’m not
the only one around here getting an express fare to hell...” He
winked and settled back in satisfaction just as the choir
cranked-up, in perfect pitch, responding too Father Francisco as he
turned away from the huge wooden crucifix that hung,
precariously, behind the alter. He faced his flock of faithful
followers, plus one, raising his hands in praise of the Lord and the
entire congregation rose to their feet. Everyone except Jack that is.
‘Stand up Jack!” Diane whispered demandingly, her blue
eyes flashing with a conviction that instantly brought Jack to his feet.
“Now this is another reason I could do without this
particular sunday outting.” He fixed his jaw tightly. “To damned
much exercise. All this standing, kneeling, sitting. Over and over
again.” He only mumbled these complaints, under a direct glare
from Diane.
After the opening salute to the holy trinity, the
congregation settled back onto the hard benches.
“I could never understand the whole point behind all
this...”
“All of what Jack?” Diane inquiered, her eyes on the
flailing Priest.
Jack did some flailing of his own, although Diane’s frown
stopped him short of take-off.
“All of this organized religious stuff,” he elaborated.
“Religion isn’t stuff Jack,” Diane informed firmly. “My
faith is all I have at times.” She turned her cerulean gaze on Jack.
“And your belittling attitude is not appreciated.”
“Well you know how I am about this religious stuff...I
mean,” he corrected with a smile. “Religious gatherings.” He
smiled evenly. “But you invited me anyway?” He shrugged. “So
you’ll just have too live with it.” He winked, flashing Diane a
boyish grin.
“Oh!” Diane huffed quietly. “You’re impossible.”
“All just part of my charm love...”
“Yeah right,” she chuckled haplessly.
Jack leaned in close again. “If god had meant us all to
follow him around like so many sheep, he’d never of given us
brains to think for ourselves.” He sat back against the unforgiving
bench, quite satisfied with himself.
“God gave us the gift of free thought so we might rise
above the pettiness of self righteous pursuits. So we could
determine for ourselves what love there is within every living soul,
and in so determining we could all come together in worship of his
guidance.”
“What!?” Jack exclaimed, even louder than he himself had
intended. He smiled at the numerous scowls that turned in his
direction. He leaned in toward Diane yet again. “Do you ever
listen to yourself?” he asked. “What in god’s name...Oops, didn’t
mean to do the in-vain thing.” He shrugged. “What in the world
did you just say?” he reinterated. “Sounded like so much
religious-ease if you ask me.” He folded his arms and resumed his
earlier slouching posture.
“Jack,” Diane instructed. “This is neither the time, nor the
place to discuss this...”
Jack couldn’t help laughing outloud. Some of the same
scowls turning on him again.
“Sorry...” he smiled, scooting over closer to Diane.
“If church isn’t the place to discuss religion, than could you
please tell me where is?” He shook his head. “I would think this
the perfect place.” He shrugged. “If we get stuck, we could ask
god personally.” His eyes went wide as he smiled at a livid Diane.
‘You are trying my patience,” she whispered forcefully.
“Patience is a virtue my dear,” he winked. “Best be as
virtuous as possible if you want to get into heaven.” He arched his
brow several times teasingly.
It was Di’s turn to scoot over to him. “I am never coming
to church with you again,” she assured him.
“Don’t you want to save my soul?” he chuckled.
“You are going too far Jack.” She held her voice to a
whisper, but she meant to make herself heard. “You may not
believe in god, but I do. And I would appreciate your not making
hurtful remarks about a faith that has come to my aid in countless
times of need.” Her face was flush and blue eyes flashing. “The
love I have for God sustains me. It fills me with a warmth that no
other source in my life can give me.”
“Not even me?” Jack asked, his expression only
semi-serious.
“Yes Jack,” she answered. “Not even you.” She touched
his face gently, her fingers quickly brushing his smooth skin then
moving away. She was in church after all. “But next to god,” she
assured him. “You are my best friend.”
Jack smiled. “Well thanks for that anyway,” he pouted.
“And here I thought I was the guiding light in your life...” He
smiled again, holding her gaze. “You’re really serious, aren’t you
sweetheart?” Diane nodded. Jack continued. “We’ve hardly ever
discussed religion,” he offered. “And the few times that we
attempted too, I never let you explain how deeply you believe,
have I?”
“No Jack,” she smiled. “You never have...”
“I’m sorry Di,” he frowned. “I’ve kinda forgotten over the
years just how strong some people feel toward their religious
convictions.” He touched her hand gently. “If you’d like,” he
offered with genuine acceptance. “We could discuss it more
often.” He nodded slowly.
“I’d like that Jack,” she smiled.
“Just be forewarned,” he admonished. “That my
convictions are not nearly as strong as yours. And I do tend, at
times, to be a little dismissive when it comes to religion.”
“Tell me about it,” Diane chuckled, her eyes glistening.
“But that you would put those dismissive tendencies aside in order
to discuss my faith with me, tells me just how much you care.”
“I do care love.” He leaned in close. “But lets not turn me
into a friggin choirboy here, okay..?”
Diane chuckled softly. “You are indeed impossible,” she
reprimanded with a smile.
She stood as the congregation began a hymn. Jack
remained seated.
The End
Unpublished Works © 1997 GJB
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