One day Tommy, my mischievous ten-year old, decided he was going to play hooky from school and made a V-line back home after I dropped him off. Of course Cluck Cluck our parrot, was delighted to see him and gave his usual "welcome home" fanfare.

Tommy had great plans for the day. His project included dissembling our 10-speed bikes and customizing them into exercise machines for each family member. He was ready to begin when he heard a rattling noise outside the house. Someone was trying to unlatch one of the downstairs basement windows.

Carefully peeking out from the corner of the blinds, he saw a tall figure fumbling with the screen. Tommy held his breath daring not to breathe less the intruder might see him. The figure got up and walked towards the front door. Tommy sneaked down the hall peeking up the stairwell, giving him a clear view of the front door. Slowly the doorknob turned left and right.

Torn between his own survival and his duty to his family, he decided he had two choices. First, he could stay hidden until the burglar left or risk detection by making a heroic escape to save his family's home. He chose the latter and made a wild dash out the back door, running as fast as his legs would carry him to the neighbor's house.

He pounded on the door frantically ringing the doorbell. Jill, our neighbor's wife opened the door and surprised to see him said,

"Tommy, what is it, you looked like you've seen a ghost?"

"I need to use your phone, a burglar's in our house".

"Oh my!" Jill gasped, as she ran for the phone.

Tommy dialed 911 informing the dispatcher of the burglary. Tommy thanked Jill as he scurried out the front door and up the street, hiding behind some bushes while waiting for help to arrive. He saw the blue and white racing down the hill from the north. The police car slowed, and Tommy quickly ran to the car, opened the door and jumped in.

The officer on duty, Dave, was his friend and often let Tommy ride around the block a couple of times when he would patrol the neighborhood.

" So Tom," Dave said, "what gives?"

Tommy really liked Dave. He was the only person who treated him like an adult and called him Tom.

As Dave listened to his story, he told Tom to hop out and wait for him on the corner until he could check out the situation. Dave gave him a thumbs-up sign and released the emergency brake, letting the car coast down toward the house.

Just as Dave eased the patrol car to a stop in front of the house, the burglar was slowly backing out the front door, unaware of the police's arrival. Dave got out of the car, unlatched his gun holster and with his hand on the butt of his gun, yelled at the burglar to freeze. He told him to raise his hands and slowly place them on his head. The burglar surprised by the sudden appearance of cops, did as he was instructed but not before tossing something in the bushes.

By now neighbors had congregated at the corner of the block to see what all the excitement was about? Tommy came running up to the house as the other officers were escorting the burglar handcuffed to the backup patrol car. Tommy froze. The burglar was his sister's friend, Josh.

"So, you're the little snitch. Just wait until I get my hands on you." Josh sneered as the officer told him to shut up and escorted him to the police car.

"Boy, that was neat", Tommy said as he came up beside his friend. Dave looked at him and held up a bag.

"Does any of this look familiar to you?"

Tommy took the bag and examined it.

"Wow! He took my mom's one-carat diamond dinner ring. She would have been mad if that was missing, yea, this is my mom's important jewelry," he replied, proud that he was able to be a witness to all of this.

Dave smiled and said,

"By the way Tom, why aren't you in school?" Not waiting for an answer he continued,

"It's a good thing you stayed home today because you were very instrumental in preventing a big loss here. Your mom will be proud of you and how brave you were. I need to call your mom and tell her what has happened. Do you have the pet shop's number?"

Tommy heart stopped! With all the excitement, he had forgotten his reason for being home. Tommy stared down at his sneakers, kicking a stone around with his foot, then sheepishly looked up at Dave and said,

"Do you have to call my mom?."

"Yes," Dave, said, as he put his arm around him. "Why don't you ride with me down to the station and we can talk about it there, okay?"

Tommy's heart sank. Besides getting in trouble with his mom, now he would be in big trouble with the police, not to mention Mr. Roylance, the school principal. He knew he disappointed everyone, especially Dave. He felt like a complete failure.

During the ride to the police station, Tommy was quiet and Dave, understanding what had happened, did not prod him. He knew the silence during the drive would be enough to give Tom time to think about the consequences of his diversion from school today.

Arriving at the station, Dave guided Tom over to his desk and motioned him to sit.

"I have to write up a report Tom, so I want you to tell me once again, in your own words, everything that happened. It is very important that you tell the truth and try to remember everything to the best of your ability. This guy has a juvenile record a mile long. You and your mother will receive a subpoena to testify in court. You are the key witness and the only person who can tell what really happened. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I think so," Tommy replied.

"Good, let's begin."

Tommy gave a clear, detailed account, including his part of playing hooky from school and was just finishing up the report when I walked in the front door of the police station. Searching for my mischievous son and seeing him with Dave, relief swept through me to know that no harm had come to him. After filling out the necessary papers, I thanked Dave and gathered up my son for our returned home.

A week later, I received a phone call from the DA.

"Mrs. Smith, do you own a parrot?"

"Yes," I responded. "I do not see what that has to do with anything."

The DA cleared his throat and continued,

"Well, it seems the accused said he rang the doorbell. He claims he heard someone yell to come in. He also mentioned that after looking around the home, expecting to find your daughter Jodi, he went upstairs. That is when he discovered the parrot. He claims the bird was talking up a storm. He said after seeing that there was no one home, he was in the process of leaving and shutting the front door when the police arrived.

" Laughing I said, "That is ridiculous. You read my son's testimony of what happened. Don't tell me you believe this trouble maker?"

"It's not for me to decide Mrs. Smith. Does your parrot have a name?"

"Yes, his name is Cluck Cluck, but what has that got to do with anything?" I asked.

"Well, this case is based upon the fact whether or not Polly Parrot can talk and told the accused to come in the house."

"His name is Cluck Cluck, not Polly Parrot," I interjected, "and he does not use those words in his vocabulary."

"What words does he use in his vocabulary?" the attorney asked.

I had to think for a moment because Cluck Cluck did have a large selection of words. After giving Cluck Cluck's repertoire to the DA, he asked a few routine questions and said that he would be in touch.

Several weeks later we received the subpoena from the courts. There were three. The first was addressed to Tommy, the second to me, and the third to Polly Parrot Smith at our address. I could not believe what I was reading! Having little faith in our system, I still could not believe they would be so frivolous as to waste the taxpayer's money in this manner. I thought you had to be a US citizen, and of the human species to receive mail, especially from the courts in the form of a subpoena. It was too late to call the courthouse to see if this was a mistake.

After dinner, I pulled Tommy aside to show him the court documents.

"Wow", Tommy exclaimed, "this is so cool. Do you think I will get to testify, being sworn in and all?"

"Looks like it to me sport," I said, "you're not the only one who has to testify in court." He looked at me and smiled,

"Mom, I know you will have to answer some questions too, I mean, being my mom and all, that's okay. I understand these things."

"Well, I certainly don't understand, I replied. "It looks like they have subpoenaed Cluck Cluck to testify too." Tommy's mouth fell open.

"You mean they actually want Cluck Cluck to testify in court? What is he going to squawk about that has anything to do with the case?"

"I'm afraid I don't have an answer for that, son."

"Wow, Tommy said, "I can see it all now as the deputy calls Cluck Cluck, who then flies up to the witness stand.

"Deputy: "Please place your right claw on the Bible. Do you solemnly swear to squawk the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you Birds?"

Cluck Cluck: "Help, help, help."

Deputy: "Please remove your claw from the Bible."

Then the lawyer approaches to where Cluck Cluck is perched on the railing by the witness stand, splintering the wood with his beak.

Lawyer: "Please state your name and address."

Cluck Cluck: "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy."

Lawyer: "Where were you on the day of January 5, 1979, around 9:00 a.m. in the morning?"

Cluck Cluck: "Shut up, dumb dog, shutupshutupshutupshutup!"

Lawyer: "Did you hear the doorbell ring or a knock on the door?" The lawyer then proceeds to knock on the tabletop.

Cluck Cluck: "Hi ya beautiful," (wolf-whistle)

Lawyer: "Have you ever seen the man sitting at the table to my left?"

Cluck Cluck: "Looking good, prettyboyprettyboyprettyboy."

Lawyer: "Did you invite Mr. Dylan inside the house on January 5th at approximately 9:00 a.m.?"

Cluck Cluck: "Here kitty kitty kitty, herekittykittykittyherekittykitty."

Lawyer: "Your Honor, would you please instruct the witness to answer the question!"

Judge: "Will you please answer the question, Polly Parrot?"

Cluck Cluck: "shutupshutupshutup (squawk)."

Judge: (banging his gavel) "Order in the court!"

By now I was rolling on the floor with laughter. Tommy had a way with stories and would certainly give any comedian a run for his money. As it stood, Tommy, Cluck Cluck and I prepared for the approaching court date.

CONTINUED