Once outside, I continued running, tripping on everything, and sometimes even falling over things. Eventually I was lost, so I calmed down, found shelter from the heat, and made myself more comfortable. I set a nicotine dispenser on fire (did you know that over 80% of people who don't smoke die, whereas only over 60% of people who do smoke die?!), and sunk into my mind contentedly.

I could hear noises in the distance. Someone yelling about a naked man smoking in a church of god. Another man was asking questions like "How long has he been here?", and "Has he been like this the whole time?". Second guy sounded important, obviously an authority in his line of work--I appreciate people like that. I heard sirens, and the second guy talking to a third. Then there was some kind of struggle. Some poor cretan be taken away. I swear this world gets worse every day.

After awhile, I decided to go home, but I seemed to be in some kind of zoo. This was quite a pleasing development. I've always wondered what it would be like to be in a zoo, to have people appreciating the beauty of my existence. I think I have a lot to teach people. I don't restrict my life the way most do, so it's a constant adventure. Anyway, this well groomed man dressed in a sharp blue uniform was looking at me. He had a scowl on his face, so he probably was feeling pretty bad about himself--after seeing such a free creature as me and all. He was yelling all kinds of mean words, probably to learn from me what the correct response to this kind of behavior is. I showed him what to do, remaining very calm, and smiling.

He went away, returning a few moments later with a young woman. He opened up my cage and said I was free. I said that yes, I am free, and he could be too if he tried very hard. He made a funny face, but I knew I had planted a seed for his future growth. The woman said to me in a very gentle voice: "Honey, it's time to go", so I went with her--hoping to one day be able to return to the zoo and teach others. (End of part one.)

The car must have been going fast because we were soon somewhere I've never been before. A man in white robes greeted me and told me it was very important for me to continue my mission. He then gave me a moral extension--bringing me up to eight total. He obviously was a great ally.

I must have fell asleep at this point because the next thing I was aware of was our car pulling into the driveway. Cindy told me to open my door and step out of the car. Once this task was accomplished, I followed her into our dwelling--thanking the protector as I passed through the Door.

The inner chambers smelt the sweet smell of recognition. That smell is so unusual in these days of great change. My familiar chair beckoned me to its' quiet meditative possibilities. I couldn't help feeling very happy.

Cindy interrupted and said we had to talk. She said I couldn't keep doing things like this or she would go crazy. While I'm not sure what she was talking about (she gets that way some times), I knew that it would pass with time, just like all her other outbursts. So, I assured her that everything would be okay, whatever problems she was having would be cleared up eventually. She seemed to be in some kind of inner conflict for awhile, perhaps not accepting herself and her faults completely. No matter, she was young, and surely had great potential.

Besides, I couldn't think about this right now. My mind was still occupied by the idea of using a human zoo for teaching behavior. If you tell a man how to fish, he can tell someone else, but if you show him how to fish, then he can show someone else. And showing is always more fun than telling.

I retired to my study for the evening to research zoology (for my ignorant readers, the suffix "logy" means "the study or science of"), but didn't find anything about studies on humans in that environment. In fact, everything was about animals. It's very typical of modern scientists to ignore the human element in things.

As I was contemplating all of this, a stroke of genius came over me. I realized the only way that I could truly understand this personally, would be to view myself in a controlled environment. So I ran to the hall closet, got the camcorder, and ran outside. It was raining a bit, but is wasn't too bad. I set the camera up right outside of Plato's kennel, unlocked his gate, and told him he was free. As he ran off down the highway I realized that I was going to miss him. He had served me well, but I had important work to do.

I locked the gate behind me as I stepped through, making sure to swallow the key so no one could contaminate my research by letting me out too soon. It was vitally important for me to get a complete portrait of correct human behavior on camera. But here entered the fatal mistake. The camera--the axis around which this entire thing turned--was still switched off! How could I have done this! They say that the memory declines with age, so I guess it was just one of those things.

I tried for hours and hours to get Cindy's attention, but the storm (by now having gotten much worse) was silencing my yells. I was getting very exhausted from my efforts, and I guess the strain must have effected my body's immune system, for I started feeling very chilled. The walk out there had left me completely soaked, and I started wondering if this is what it's like to be the water in the ice cube tray as the ice invades through the surface and starts permeating the insides with that terrible desperate coldness. I huddled myself on the trembling ground, sinking into the most devastating place I had ever known.

The ground mercifully swallowed me. (End of part two.)

To be continued at some indeterminable time. If I knew that anyone cared, it might speed up the process. ; )

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