Hudsonian

August 25, 1990

It's all true, unless it's made up or exaggerated. In which case, the editor is not responsible, the reasons being obvious. If you don't like it, don't read it."

Liz Makes Onion Soup, Alexa Unimpressed

Liz Hudson, famous for her onion soup, prepared the dish for her house guest, Alexa wax. As Liz Prepared the soup, Alexa waited in anticipation. When the meal was finally ready, Liz put in the finishing touch, bread. When Alexa viewed the saturated concoction, she made one of those faces which shows discontent. Liz became angered as she was heckled because of the concoction. Alexa could only sip the soup once before pushing it away. Meanwhile, Liz was the devouring the soup as if it were her last meal. The saturated bread looked simply irresistible with the brown substance dripping off it. Little onion pieces floated in the soup, the pieces were big enough to choke on. I inquired where it is that one learns to make such a meal. Liz replied, "you're a jerk". Although hurt by the comment, I left the table with no reply. Alex will bring her own meal next time, can you blame her?

Northridge Begins Soon, We All Pray for Mary

Mary Hudson, the first quarter reject of UCSB, will begin classes at CSUN next week. She has purchased her books and appears ready to go. Her anti-climactic summer is coming to an end. Long days at the beach and nightly barbecues are things of the past. Mary will finally have to show a little responsability, we'll see how she handles it. One can only hope that she is not the only Hudson to fail out of college, relegated to a life of thievery and deceit. Everyone is behind Mary, she will need it.

Chris Gets Free Lesson. No Help

Chris Hudson, the stranger from stoner, received a pity golf lesson while looking at clubs last week. While at the store, he was asked to try out the club, see how it feels. When Chris proceeded to do so, an echo of laughter was heard throughout the store. The store pro was heard to say, "this guy don't need clubs, he needs serious help". After recieving a free lesson, the called Rob boasting of his new discovered talent, raw ability turning into perfection. Final score: Rob by seven strokes, must I say more?

Mom, Dad and Mrs. Wax go out.
Question- Where's Doug?
Mom Mentions that the chairs must be fixed.
Comment- Whatever

Grandma Out of Control on Wheelchair

This story has just been sent in, Grandma is apparently rolling around the house with reckless abandon, dangering all. The high speeds she reaches no only endanger lives, but all the furniture as well. When she finally does come to a stop, the chair is more often than not parked illegally, causing high stress for those who wish to go around it. How many times have you wanted to go through the hall, only to be stuck behind the chair with nowhere to go? Often Grandma will roll in front of the t.v, camping out there for hours. Grandpa was asked what he thought of the situation. He replied, "those things used to cost ten cents."