The Hudsonian

October 12, 1998
Volleyball Update-Nov. 13

Chris Upsets Rob in Two Battles

Christopher James Hudson, the father of two, took time out from his life as caretaker to pull two major upsets within one hour of each other Sunday afternoon in Calabasas. Joseph, the 5 month old prone to drool and spit upon any unsuspecting individual, was placed expertly on Liz's bed by his Uncle Rob for an afternoon nap. Realizing a rare opportunity, the 32 year old project manager announced, "I have ten minutes to defeat you in hoops." The hoop game, however, was temporarily postponed when Carlin refused to go for a walk with grandpa and proceeded to stand around the basketball court with no intention of leaving. She strolled around saying "my ball" and was not happy unless the ball was in her hands. At this point, the pale father started throwing the football at the hoop, and a new game was born. Chris defeated rob in a 7 game thriller, capped by the albino trailing by 6 points and forcing an historic overtime won by the former cello playing dork. (If you want the rules of this game, e-mail me and I'll be sure to respond) Finally, Grandpa, Grandma and Carlin went for a walk. The hoop game was on. Let me preface the result by saying, Chris plays two hoop games a year, both against me. These games are his life. If he loses, he lives with it for another year. His younger athletic brother plays hoops all year round, so these games mean little to the younger, more attractive son of an accountant and his wife from Brooklyn. The score was 13-12, when rob dribbled between his legs, because he can, and the ball nipped the garage, barely touching it. The slow-footed, aging father yelled, "the ball is out". It was, but that is not the point. The former roller hockey goaltending all-star somewhere caught a second wind, scoring 2 consecutive hoops to win. I feel good for my older brother, he left a happy man. I am not about wins and losses as I once was in my youth, I am all about the happiness of my fellow man. Congratulations Christopher, sometimes the ball bounces your way, on Sunday it did. By the way, the mostly uncoordinated Berkeley grad somehow made two left-handed shots in the game to the amazement of his younger sibling.

Mom Sets Table, but for Who?

As Dad prepared dinner on the grill last month, Mom set the table. Robert, who was reading educational materials as he is known to do, glanced at the table setting. To his surprise, 5 plate settings were on the table. Due to attend dinner that evening were, mom, dad, rob and grandma. Who was the mystery guest? The author noticed a doll laying on the ground, and placed it on one of the plates. Mom walked by and and asked, "why is the doll on the table"? Rob replied, "I didn't want the extra place setting to go to waste." Mom realized her error and proceeded to buy one of those memory building tapes they sell on infomercials, but we fear it may be too late for the teacher.

Rob's Unemployment all Part of a Grand Plan

I feel the need to explain my extended unemployment to my fellow Americans. I believe that being employed and discussing careers takes away from the individual. One cannot truly understand a person when all he or she sees is the career the person has or the job he does. The only way to see a person as they are is during a stint of unemployment. It is during these times that a person can forego all societal limitations and do as his heart desires. It is also the only time when a man can find a female who is not after his wallet. I have found that most females are simply after my fortune and will use my unemployment time to find the one girl who is not motivated by the almighty dollar, if in fact she exists in the world. Applications are currently being accepted, there is no deadline.

Grandma Still Working on Jigsaw Puzzle

The jigsaw puzzle grandma has been working on since arriving in California is yet to be completed. At least once a day grandma rolls into the living room and places one piece into the puzzle. It is estimated that the puzzle will be finished in the year 2010, at which time mom and dad will once again have the opportunity to use the living room table and invite guests over for dinner.

Other News

Mom and Dad eat more meat than the fans at dodger stadium during a homestand. Here is what I was fed this weekend: Bacon and eggs, Hotdogs, Cheeseburgers, Steak Sandwiches, and Sausages. This diet is not recommended by most health organizations.

Dad heated the pool for the weekend, it was 85 degrees by Sunday night. He yelled my name over and over until I finally agreed to go for a swim Sunday night at 10. Mom came in the room twice and told me that dad wanted me to swim. I was glad I did, the pool was great. I think dad wanted to invite the entire neighborhood over for a swim, but we were out of beer, so it would have been no fun.

Mom, dad and I were supposed to follow Chris, Motor, Carlin and Joseph from the restaurant in Pasadena to the Coliseum for the USC-Cal game. Chris left the parking lot and turned right, I couldn't find him and turned left. Dad had a semi-spaz attack, wondering how Chris could leave without us. It was reported that Chris had a similar spaz attack in his car, blaming us for the incident. Chris eventually sped by us on the 110 freeway, saving both Chris and Dad from simultaneously losing their minds.

Chris showed signs of his old self at the Cal game. A gang of young Cal hooligans were sitting in front of us, downing beer, making noise and acting in ways in which Chris had never acted. He looked at one guy and said, "sit down buddy", the guy turned and said "what did you say?", Chris replied, "sit down buddy". The angered young drunken cal bear turned and snickered at the old cal alum with his young son in his lap. Joseph staved off further complications with his presence. Some other guy was explaining every play to dad, who was polite for some time but showed signs of happiness when we moved to another section at halftime.

Here are the sporting events I've attended since becoming unemployed: Cal-USC football, San Diego State-Arizona football, Cal-Houston football, Jets-49ers, Padres-Mets, Padres-Astros (both home playoff games) and this Friday I will attend the King-Bruin game.