February 2001
February 9, 2001
I'm 21, now. I'll have to update my info. I'll get around to it sometime.
I'm as hard as a rock when it comes to a particular subject. Unrelenting. I won't give myself (or anyone else) an inch. Well, maybe an inch, but definitely not more than that. I've known that for a long time. In fact, it's exactly the attitude I've cultivated in myself.
I couldn't just change to be this way without a reason. I do have one. But lately, I've been wondering about whether it's any good.
The story I've been telling myself is a fine justification. However, I've noticed that it really is only about half the truth. The reality is, I'm hiding behind this fabrication of mine.
I can't imagine how to fix things, though. I could force myself out into the open.. do the things that I have up 'til this point refused to do. But it turns out that the story really is a valid justification, even if it doesn't actually reflect how I feel. It is how I ought to feel. So I'm stuck. It's right for me to be this way, but I'm not this way for the right reasons. How do I change what motivates me in time to avoid permanently wrecking my life?
February 13, 2001
I used to hear music playing in my head, but I don't any more. I wonder if that means something?
Tomorrow is St. Valentine's Day. I suppose this makes some people lonely. I am not afflicted with this particular illness, thankfully.
February 26, 2001
You love me like no other
You have been the savior of my life
You know my weakness, but see me beautiful through your eyes
Hey, you're the one that I need,
The one who makes me complete
Hey, you're the one who is strong,
When I am crying and weak
And you're the one that I love,
The one who never gives up
Hey, you're the one that I need,
You're the one, You're the one
You love me like no other
You make it easy for my heart to live
And when I'm drownin', you're on the way to rescue me
Hey, you're the one that I need,
The one who makes me complete
Hey, you're the one who is strong,
When I am crying and weak
And you're the one that I love,
The one who never gives up
Hey, you're the one that I need,
You're the one, You're the one
I carry on without knowing how
I've never needed like I need you now
The One --Skillet
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Contact me: adam.stephens@ttu.edu