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And when the hourglass has run out, the hourglass of temporality, when the noise of secular life has grown silent and its restless or ineffectual activism has come to an end, when everything around you is still, as it is in eternity, then eternity asks you and every individual in these millions and millions about only one thing: whether you have lived in despair or not. -Soren Kierkgaard, "The Sickness Unto Death"
All below pieces of writing are copyrighted par moi, Erik Walle, 1998/99 (Except "A Morbid Kind of Sunday")
Some Guy in the Fucking Desert, ok? -"How cliché, he mused with
disgust."
Deer -"Love transcending love, adoration without measure."
Elevator -"Sanity taunted me, sitting on the edge
of my mind..."
It happened like this... -"I feel mildly insulted as he afterwards wipes his hands on his trousers..."
The Atheist -"The fear grew to a new pant-wetting level."
Joke -"In Jerusalem, and throughout the Holy Land, a great cry rang out in many different tongues..."
The Teardrop -Starring John Travolta!
A Morbid Kind of Sunday -"I drew in my last gasp of this pure air and my eyes rolled up into my head. She laid one last kiss on my lips."
A story by Heather Collins.
Blurb 1 -"Blah blah blah I'm so miserable blah blah."
Blurb 2 -"Blah blah blah More of the same blah blah."
My Poetry
Book of Dreams
Weekly Newspaper Column - JTMhDRLY
I’m replacing the two little blurbs that used to be up here because they’re getting to be old hat. I feel like bitching about how unhappy I am, but it’s all my fault anyway and no-one wants to hear it. So, perhaps I should regale you with some of my droningly obvious insights on life in general. Yes, that sounds good. Let’s go with that.
Life is tough, beyond the general annoyances of day to day life the major frustration is in being but one lost soul on a planet of over six billion. Everyone decries conformity while endorsing originality and trend-setting rather than following, but latter is a difficult state to transcend. While our individual minds vary, we are all constructed from a similar blueprint, all of the same species. We all go through childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and we all have peers in the same situation. With such a glut of bodies thrust into the same demographic, we can never realize our dream of each person being a truly inspired, unparalleled creation. It is therefore futile to do so.
Science. Technology. The field of technical advance should always be mankind’s primary focus. Any other endeavor is concerned with the tending of the species, taking out our trash and cooking our dinner if you will. Even art relies fully on technology as a means of alleviating stagnation, I believe if it weren’t for technological advance art would merely start cycling when ideas were exhausted, without a change of medium there’s only so much our artists can produce. For example, someone paints a bull on a cave wall, and it looks rather nice, but you will see an awful lot of bulls unless a sociologists show us that trees are important too, or a philosopher hypothesizes about deities in the clouds, or an Egyptian starts writing symbols on papyrus, or a lab technician forges a computer with a graphical interface. These are fundamentally scientific discoveries, designed to push mankind into a new era. Without them, we’d be completely indistinguishable to our ancestors of centuries past. The women and men who spend long hours documenting the reactions of specific metals to certain electrical currents, or the mating behavior of the Tsetse fly, their names are the ones that truly deserve remembrance. Art, while imperative to our functioning as a race, is at its root simply a maintenance program. It keeps us sane, entertained, and reassures us that life is worthwhile and we should keep going. People should admire their local R&D division at least as much as their favorite band, while both may be comprised of intelligent and productive members, it is clear which does a greater service to us all.
But alas, I begin to sound somewhat Nietzschean, preaching these ascetic virtues. What was my former topic? Oh yes… don’t you love stream of consciousness style writing? Anyway, after we’ve constructed our Ubermensch, we must come to terms with the fact that we are but superfluous divisions of the towering mass of humanity. This vision is my own greatest tragedy and source of sadness, sorry to thrust it on you like this. The feeling of supreme unimportance is overwhelming, I can’t distract myself from it often enough. Maybe I should try reveling in it instead. Sort of a big happy family feel. Wait, that's religion! Ewwww!
Actually, this is really just repetition of the crap I wrote earlier. Maybe a little less coherent. Well I was getting sick of seeing that on this page. It’s of little consequence, as about 3 people alive that I know of have read this. Wait until I get a strong, clear view on some topic, then I’ll plaster this page with it. Damn this apathy, takes so much effort to shake off. I can see the attraction to being told what to do and led around like cattle, must be terribly relaxing. I need to go on an anti-theist bender or something. Curses, must clinch. Ah, art will save me.
Full many a gem of purest ray serene
The dark unfathomed caves of ocean bear.
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen
And waste its sweetness on the desert air.
- from Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard, Thomas Gray.
Enough of your bleak, clichéd world view.