I had a dog who wouldn't bark, his name was Alouiscious
I found him silent on the street some years ago
He was wandering around just minding his own business
And it covered him complete from head to toe
Well, any new tricks he was much too old to teach
But he could still lick the parts you'd wish that you could reach
But he wouldn't growl, he wouldn't bark nor howl,
He wouldn't move a jowl, except for food and kisses
I said "Stay, now bonny boy, but don't stay silent, Alouiscious"
One night I saw him sitting toward the TV facing
I must admit I had to laugh to see him stare
As huntsman, horse, and hounds across the screen were chasing
A fox who wandered foolish from his lair
I said, "Sit down, boy. You can't hunt with the pack."
He turned around, and to my surprise he answered back,
"You and your kind, you must be bloody blind
To think that for all time you can treat us as you wishes!"
I said "Stay, now bonny boy, but don't stay silent, Alouiscious"
"You call us man's best friend, but yet you kick and beat us,
Or make us chase our brothers just for sport
And in the Orient they say you'd kill and eat us
Our skins for fashion could be sold or bought
Or else you poison us with your scents and cigarettes
Or you breed us in cages until death
And we must obey, we have to sit and stay,
And if a dog e'er has his day, he's condemned for being vicious."
I said "Stay, now bonny boy, but don't stay silent, Alouiscious"
I had a dog, and he could talk, his name was Alouiscious
Though I must admit he never said goodbye
One day when we awoke, we found he'd up and left us
For that great, big kennel in the sky
And from that day on, he's never said a word
And people say that surely it was my own voice that I heard
But if I greet a stray dog on the street
Like an old friend that you'd meet, please don't look at me suspicious
I say "Stay, now bonny boy, but don't stay silent, like Alouiscious"
I had a dog, and he could talk, his name was Alouiscious...