A hungry stomach is not such a bad thing
I know of nothing emptier
Than a human heart without hope

1st October 1974

Untitled

I turned, and the sea covered my tracks
leaving no trace of my journey
I wish I could forget my past as easily

If I stand still
At least two prints then remain
But what more is standing still
 - than emptiness

3rd October 1974
 

Becoming a Man

When I think about the pain of forgeting you
I realise that I prefer the agony of remembering
The solace of my memories
Is the only company I keep

Exactly when I stopped enjoying the things of my childhood
I'll never know
I recall only echoes of them saying
He's becoming a man I see

Paul died on Saturday
Anne's gone away I don't know why
And some hijackers blew up a plane
 - Some people were killed

If maturity means
That horror and tragedy don't penetrate anymore
That feelings are hidden behind a guarded wall
Then I'd rather be a child again

Circa 1974
 

We all need love to live
But how many of us I wonder
Use life for loving?

11th December 1974
 
Be What you Are

To cast my mind free from all that surrounds me
Releasing the desires of my soul
Discovering the gaps in my state of being

Answering to no man,
Yet guilty of the God I often forgot
If I spoke nil save in answer
Would the world notice the loss

Man is at war with nature
I'd like to capitulate
But a flower leads a lonely existance

Date uncertain

Ive got the tight wild feeling
in my gut again
Only I don't want it to go away anymore
It's the only thing that keeps me going

Am I really better off, than the refugees in Asia
Are some born to be happy
While was destined to fall short of even some
obscure self fulfillment

Date uncertain

Why I hate rain I've never really known
Maybe because love is warm
Icy winds never inspired any passion
I can think of

I revel in the sunlight, whoever said
bad times make you enjoy the good ones
Must have liked fighting the elements
I wonder -
Did he ever tire of battle

Date uncertain

I don't accuse the ones in space of being weak
It's only the sadist, or maybe the masochist in us
Who enjoys listening to the news
We all have our escape plans
And who's to say
that some are wrong simply because they are afraid
Of what they do not know or undersatand

To me the psychadelic world is no more or less unreal
than memories, or the pub down the road
And who's to say that incense or those coloured lights
Don't spice the flavour of a good time

There are so many great things to be done
So much love and giving
But so few who do them
We are born and raised in a limbo of apathy
With living such a hypocrasy, is it any wonder
We turn out such good hypocrites

No man is an island unto himself
No matter how hard the rest
Try to make him one
I know of no surer way to kill a man
Than to leave him alone

Date uncertain
 

To you my life in Christ may seem
Like a fairybook success
But sometimes I have trouble believing

And believing, trouble trusting
And trusting, trouble acting
But I'll never quit trying

Circa 1975
 

Rain

Why I hate rain, I've never really known
Maybe because love is warm
Icy winds never inspired any passion I can think of

I revel in the sunlight
Whoever said bad times make you strong
Must have enjoyed fighting the elements
Did he I wonder, ever tire of the battle

Circa 1975
 

We spend so much time trying to impress others
That some of us forget
To fulfill our own dreams and ambitions

22nd May 1975
 

Untitled

Something more urgent more vital
than the love of a girl or the admiration of a world
Touches the breadth and depth of my soul
To keep on pushing
And it is so rarely, that somebody pulls
From up ahead

I guess that inside
I want to be one of the few
Who pull hard and constant
That the others behind
Might know their need

21st July 1975

Nostalgia is the keynote of the age
To me that means people are afraid to live
-with themselves
Terrified lest between highs, they might retch
Were they to discover themselves naked
Stripped of their props, their charades of existance
If only . . . . . . . . .

The rhythm of life
Seems to be beating to a different drum
Than the one I follow after

Date Uncertain

We spend so much time
Trying to impress others
That some of us forget
To fulfill our own dreams
and ambitions for our lives

22nd July 1975
 

It's a horrible feeling to get where you're going
And not know where you are

25th July 1975
 

Values

When I look around me and see confusion
-I turn to you Lord
Yet when I look within and see it again,
I am lost, I look away

Never knowing that what I see without, is only because
I am burning within

Show me your values Lord, I haven't a place to go
All I ask for is peace of mind

"You've got to forget the "if onlys" and abandon your pride
The path home is narrow, we cannot walk side by side"

12th August 1975

Image

Once, I guess because I wasn't too popular
I made a new image of myself
But after a while I became tired
Still too many people didn't like it
And anyway, nor did I

That made me sad, but I resolved to try again
So I made another one and then some more
The trouble was, none of them were ever quite good enough
And somehow I'd lost something along the way

So I backtracked, tried to find the original one
 - but it was gone forever, so I gave up altogether
Then God gave me a new one, it looked a bit simple
 - and kind of undersized

But I tried it on anyway, there was nothing else left
It had a few rough edges just to keep me occupied
Yet people admired it, called me friend
They said it was beautiful; I kind of like me too

20th June 1976
 

You claim to have a purpose in life,
Though you don't know where you're going
So tell me, how will you know when you get there?

20th June 1976
 

Despite all the sickness and madness
God is pouring sanity into this world
And you can have as much as you like

Circa 1977
 

In Leaving

If I was positive that the only way
Not to be hurt was not to care
Perhaps I never would have found
The good times you gave me

The past can be the vilest drug in the world
If we forget that it was once the present
Now that you have gone from my present
I can only hope you will go also from my past

Circa April 1977
 

No-one can live in the present
Until they can accept the past

Circa April 1977
 
 

The trouble with many churches today
Is that they are buildings full of convention
Instead of people full of love

6th June 1977
 

Can't You See Past Tomorrow

Don't you know there's a new world coming
Don't stand out in the cold, there's a new story to be told

I look at you and see, a promise of things to come
But unless you're gonna say yes, you know it can never be

Sometimes I almost give up trying, but then I look again
And I see you dyin' see you dyin'

Never gonna give up trying
Never gonna give up trying
Never gonna give up trying

Circa 1977

Gone

They've gone away, all gone away
faces I have seen, the people I've known
Sometimes it seems like
Everyone's home but me

There are so many songs I would have sung,
but someone walked out the door
I have poems you know, I've written
but no one will see,
maybe there isn't any more

11th February 1978

Untitled

To you, my life in Christ may seem
Like a storybook success

But sometimes I have trouble believing,
And believing, trouble trusting,
And trusting, trouble acting.

But I will never quit trying

Date uncertain

Horizons

I looked at the sky and I became lonely
Why can't they understand, his love is for them

"I wept and I bled, but you can't hear them mocking me
You cry and stand alone, the cold wind blows through you"

I feel like I just lost Lord
There is an empty I can't fill
I sense your hand reaching out to touch me
But I can't see
So come and destroy this ache in my soul
You know the whole story Lord
I stand at the first page
And wait for you to lead me through the ways
Where I am so frightened

So his Spirit comes, and like a tired man
laying down to sleep in the warm sun
Surrounded by the cool grass he comforts
And I am not lonely anymore

Circa 1978
 
First Discovery

I’m such a child. All my troubles seem to
resolve themselves into one big question,
"do you still love me?"

I am very insecure, so afraid of life, people.
I was not made as an outgoing party person,
a salesman or a leader.

God made me a solitary person,
who likes to poke around nature by himself,
ponder life, write poetry, share his heart,
fearfully; in pictures of words.

I was made for quiet, late night conversations
with intimate friends,
people who share my uncluttered, romantic,
emotional view of life.

I compete to gain self esteem, but
competition also hurts and frightens me.
In my fear of conflict I stumble into it
and am angry at myself as much as I am
at the other person.

I have molded myself to an image that men
might praise and respect me, but have lost
much of my true value and essence in becoming
everybody else’s person instead of
doing what I want,
and being who I want to be.

We are so critical, so defensive,
so unsupportive of each other,
and over the most insignificant issues,
things that don’t matter one drop
in the lake of creation,
don’t even make a ripple.

Why can’t we just take pleasure,
in giving love and support
when one in the family is hurting,
even, and especially
when they show their pain
with some kind of antisocial behaviour.

Why am I so afraid to tell you how I feel.
I am hard on the outside,
but like a marshmellow within,
not very brave at all.

Scared of wearing out your patience,
if ever I spilled all my fears and insecurities.

January 1995
 

Poem For Jacky

Where have you gone God,
I need you here.
You say that you love me,
But you don't seem to care.
You say that you see my heartache,
But you do nothing to relieve,
How is it that you can ever,
Expect me to believe?

My child, I see your heartaches,
I ache for you as well.
With a love more than any other,
How much yearning, no one can tell.
Just give me your sin and burdens,
Cast them all upon my Son,
And His eternal sacrifice for you,
Can relieve you of every one.

So come to me today, my child,
And put your hand in mine,
I'll never leave or forsake you,
I'll be with you all of the time.
I'll be with you to help and guide you,
When you are happy or terribly down,
I care for you, Jacky, and I'm longing,
To give you your smile, instead of your frown.

D.Brackenbury Date unknown   (thanks Dave)
 

Final Regrets

If I have regrets, they are for the one I sold short
The people I abused and cheapened along the way
By my self indulgence and desires

I cry not for the woundings I have given myself
For God has turned grievous harm to gold in my life
Those dark and dreary paths have led to a shady meadow
Where I lie in green pastures and rest amongst the toil

My tears are not of guilt for I have passed that hurdle
But ones of love for those so precious who imparted
A little of the gifts they are from God
And of the gifts he moulded into their souls

The tears I shed are for the scars I have brought
On the souls of these loved of God, who yet,
May not have come to rest in this meadow
Lord let not the limp I caused, prevent them
Passing the border into this blessed place

Methuselah   September 1997
 

Leaves

are smelly like potpouri
Crispy like prickly sticks
Different, like yellow, brown,
orange and red
Smelly, crispy, different leaves

Alyce aged 9  (Meth's baby treasure)

Garden of a Friend (for EagleWings)

Sometimes I am privileged
To be invited
Into the garden of a friend
To share the worthy task
Of tilling soil of their lives

What an honor one would trust
A big foot such as me
To clomp around their yard
Where long they have toiled

So forgive me where I stand
If sometimes I should not
I don’t always see the drill
Or strings you place to warn

Of places we should not
Be placing heavy feet
Where God has made a drill
Of flowers to bloom in Spring

I’ll cheerfully pull weeds
Though sometimes a flower comes too
Be careful where you walk
If another invites you in

8th October 1997