ARTIFICIAL DISSEMINATION - EPISODE 008B - I WORK EIGHT HOURS, AND WHAT DO I GET?

Breaking news: New top ten! The vignettes aren't ready yet, so I'm not calling this a new episode, but this top ten idea popped into my head, and it was so delicious I just had to run with it.

008B is finished. World Championships of Philosophy results are up, for both of you waiting with baited breath for those results. I even have teasers for two upcoming vignettes up.

The big AD-sponsored tournament is up, as is another "very special" vignette. As always, if you want to take a look back at parliamentary democracy inaction, the CHSF site is still archived here. You can also take a look at the old Artificial Dissemination, if you like.

I want to prove that I have some creative talent and marketing savvy. I'd like to show those Hollywood fatcats that I can make movies that'd sell like hotcakes. So, in that spirit, here are...

TOP TEN IDEAS FOR ROMANTIC COMEDIES


10- Return to Sender "Sometimes the mailman delivers a 'special package'."
9- Weekend at Bernie's 3 "Necrophilia was never this funny before!"
8- Men at Work "It's better if you have the same equipment."
7- The Love Canal "Because chicks dig it when you go down on them."
6- Home Alone "A movie about the right hand not knowing what the left is doing."
5- Playing the Ponies "Those bastards kick HARD."
4- The More, the Merrier! "If three's a crowd, what's thirty-seven?"
3- Put Down that Sausage, Mrs. Jackson! "What more can we say?"
2- Fire in the Hole "Proctology just got interesting."
1- Sleeping with the Enemy "Who knew Stalin was hung like that?"

I grow tired of thinking of effective ways to explain what's below. If you can't figure it out by now, you're stupid.

It's a final cry for help. It's called "Why I want to kill myself". You are forewarned.

John steals some source code, lifts an idea, and joins a club without authorization. All this and more, as I finally write "My Allfella Biography". As if you needed to know even MORE about me.

Check out Tory defections. You'll be pleasantly surprised.

John pines wistfully over his "Ideal Woman". Pray to God it's no one you know...

ESPN14's Skip Eisenreich and Jeff Jones guide you through the "World Championships of Philosophy" recap, giving you all the results with 30% more instant replays and witty banter!

Read the Preview show for the World Championships of Philosophy!

In the spirit of new additions to old traditions, take a gander at Things you should probably already know about me.

It's all over but the cryin'. And, uh, pilfering office supplies. Take a loving look at my last AD feature of this run, Johnny gets canned!

Take a look at how the "Win a Date with John" contest turned out, and get to know the editor-in-chief just a little bit better!

A Baseball Analogy.I'm such a tool.

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Archeology and Disillusionment.


I've created this many text tube babies...
Last updated May 12th, 12:08am I have a horrible admission for you, Chris, if Jeff didn't already tell you. We lied to you about Karl winning. It was my idea of a practical joke.

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