You know you were an 80's kid if: **You know what "Sike" means.
**You know the profound meaning of "Wax On Wax Off".
**You know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer".
**You can name at least half of the members of the BRAT Pack.
**You know who Tina Yothers is.
**You know who Max Headroom is.
**You ever wore Fluorescent, neon clothing.
**You could breakdance or wish you could.
**You wanted to dress like the Hulk at Halloween.
**Partying "like it's 1999" seemed sooo far away.
**You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.
**You wanted to be on StarSearch.
**You remember the night "Thriller" debuted on TV - all 15 minutes of it.
**You've worn a Banana Clip.
**You owned a doll with "Xavier Roberts" signed on its butt, or knew someone who did.
**You HAD to have your MTV.
**You hold a special place in your heart for "Back to the Future"
**You know where to go if you "wanna go where everybody knows your name."
**You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.
**You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good movie.
**You have heard of "Garbage Pail Kids".
**Punks actually "shocked" people
**You knew "The Artist", when he was humbly called "Prince".
**You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game.
**You own any cassettes.
**You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon.
**You remember and/or owned any of the CareBear glass collections from Pizza Hut, Or any other stupid collection of glass they came out with.
**Poltergeist freaked you out.
**You carried your luch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox.
**You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
**You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt (and felt stylish)
**You ever had a Swatch Watch, or three (and wore them all at the same time).
**You had a crush on one of the Corey's (Haim or Feldman).
**You had a crush on Bo Derek or Heather Locklear.
**You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
**You had WonderWoman or Superman underoos.
**You know what a "Whammee" is.
**You had a crush on Jon BonJovi, or knew someone who did.
**You have ever called 867-5309.
**You had a poster of Rob Lowe, Kirk Camron, or Michael J. Fox on your wall.
**You held the top score on PacMan.
**You had MALL Hair.
**You owned a T-shirt that said, "I shot J.R." or know someone who did.
IF you can identify with at least half of this list then you, my friend are a child of the 80's.
Sid and Barney head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes. Sid says to Barney, "Let's say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day." Barney agrees and they enjoy a great game.
After the 8th hole, Barney is ahead by 1 stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.
"Help me find my ball; you look over there," he says to Sid.
After 5 minutes, neither has had any luck, and since a lost ball carries a four-point penalty, Barney pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. "I've found my ball!" he announces triumphantly.
Sid looks at him forlornly, "After all the years we've been friends, you'd cheat me on golf for a measly five bucks?"
"What do you mean cheat? I found my ball sitting right here!"
"And a liar, too!" Sid says with amazement. "I'll have you know I've been standing on your ball for the last five minutes!"
This one is about HMO's!
Two doctors and an HMO manager died and lined up at the pearly gates for admission to heaven.
St. Peter asked them to identify themselves.
One doctor stepped forward and said, "I was a pediatric spine surgeon and helped kids overcome their deformities."
St. Peter said, "You can enter."
The second doctor said, "I was a psychiatrist. I helped people rehabilitate themselves."
St. Peter also invited him in.
The third applicant stepped forward and said, "I was an HMO manager. I helped people get cost-effective health care."
St. Peter said, "You can come in too."
As the HMO manager walked by, .............. St. Peter quietly added, "But you can only stay three days..... After that you can go to hell."
Texas Wisdom...
1. Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
2. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
3. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
4. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
5. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
6. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
7. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
8. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
9. Don't squat with your spurs on.
10. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
11. Always drink upstream from the herd.
12. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
13. There are three kinds of people: The ones that learn by reading, The few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to see for themselves if it's really hot.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteed anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others, If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a bigscreen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights."
If you agree, we strongly urge you to forward this to as many people as you can. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you should you not forward it. We just think it is about time common sense is allowed to flourish - call it the age of reason revisited.
A young couple are on their way to Vegas to get married. Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she has a confession to make, "The reason that I have not been too intimate, is because I am very flat-chested."
She continues, "If he wishes to cancel the wedding, it's okay with me."
The guy thought about it for a while, and says, "I don't mind if you are flat chested, sex is not the most important thing in a marriage."
Several minutes later, the guy turns to the girl and says, "I also want to make a confession, below my waist, I am just like a baby. If you want to cancel the marriage, its okay with me."
The girl thinks about it for a while and says, "I don't mind if you are like a baby below your waist, sex is not the most important thing in a marriage."
They were both so happy that they are honest with each other. They continued to Vegas and got married. On their wedding night, the girl took off her clothes, and sure enough she was as flat as a washboard. Finally, the guy took off his clothes. One glance at her husbands naked body, the girl fainted and fell to the floor. After several minutes she became conscious, her husband asked, "I told you before we got married, why did you still faint?"
The wife said, "You told me it was just like a baby"
The husband replied, "It is, it's 8 pounds and 21 inches!"
A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist. The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed.
After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh.
Doing so he asked her, "Do you know what I am doing?"
"Yes," she replied, "You are checking for abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"That's right," said the doctor.
He then began to fondle her breast.
"Do you know what I am doing know?" he asked.
"Yes," she said, "You are checking for lumps or breast cancer."
"Correct," replied the shady doctor."
Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her.
He asked, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
"Yes," she said, "You're getting herpes: which is why I came here in the first place."
One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the backyard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his lawn as much as possible, hoping for yet another look. Finally, he could stand it no more.
Walking to the front door of the new neighbor's house, he knocked and waited. The husband, a large, burly man, opened the door.
"Excuse me," our man stammered, "but I couldn't help noticing how beautiful your wife is."
"Yeah? So?" his hulking neighbor replied.
"Well, in particular, I am really struck by how beautiful her breasts are. I would gladly pay you ten thousand dollars if I could kiss those breasts."
The burly gorilla was about to deck our poor guy when his wife appeared and stopped him. She pulled him inside and they discussed the offer for a few moments. Finally, they returned and asked our friend to step inside.
"OK," the husband said gruffly, "for ten thousand dollars you can kiss my wife's tits." At this the wife unbuttoned her blouse, and the twin objects of desire hung free at last. Our man took one in each hand, and proceeded to rub his face against them in total ecstasy. This went on for several minutes, until the husband got annoyed.
"Well, come on already, kiss 'em!" he growled.
"I can't," replied our awe-struck hero, still nuzzling away.
"Why not?" demanded the husband, getting really angry now.
"I don't have ten thousand dollars."
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."
After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"
The young man waited and minute and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, why even Jesus had long hair...."
To which his father replied...."Yes, and they WALKED everywhere they went!"
An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both.
As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds,
"I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
"Come on God, give me a break!!" the man pleaded. "Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"
Fred's convertible glided to a halt on the edge of a lonely country road.
"I suppose," said his pretty but reluctant date, "you're going to pull the old 'out of gas' routine."
"No," said Fred, "I'm going to pull the 'here after' routine."
"The 'here after' routine-----what's that?", she wanted to know.
"If you're not here after what I'm here after, you'll be here after I'm gone!"
This older couple met their demise in an auto accident and were transported to Heaven. As they were waiting to be processed, they began to look all around at their setting for eternity.
The wife was amazed at the beauty, the peace and the contentment she felt and commented over and over about what a nice place Heaven was and how fortunate she felt to be there.
The husband sneered,..."If it weren't for you and your darned oat-bran muffins & all that health food crap, we'd have been here 15 years ago!"
30 reasons you know you are from Virginia:
1. "Vacation" means spending a day at King's Dominion or Busch Gardens.
2. "Going to the River" means any stream with water.
3. Down south to you means points farther than South Carolina.
4. Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.
5. Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.
6. You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
7. You've had to switch from "heat" to A/C" in the same day.
8. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Examples: "Where's my coat at?"
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave them both unlocked.
10. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
11. You have never been served tea without the waitress asking "sweet or unsweetened?"
12. You carry jumper cables in your car.
13. Driving may be better in the winter because the potholes are sometimes filled with snow.
14. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
15. The local paper covers state, national and international headlines in one page but sports requires six pages.
16. You think the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
17. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
18. You find 50 degrees F "a little chilly".
19. You know all 4 seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and highway construction.
20. You know if another Virginian is from eastern, central or western Virginia as soon as he opens his mouth.
21. You can spell words such as Mattaponi, Pamunkey and Chincoteaque.
22. Your favorite past time is telling West Virginia jokes.
23. Anyone who can't trace his or her ancestry back to at least four generations in Virginia is an outsider.
24. You entertain your kids on a trip by having them try to see which one can spot the most confederate flags on pickup trucks.
25. Red Man is the dessert choice of 40% of the men (and 10% of the women).
26. BBQ stands for "bobbycue".
27. The left lane of a divided highway is the "through", or driving lane, and the right lane is for passing.
28. "Going to the beach" means anywhere from Virginia Beach to Myrtle Beach.
29. The highlight of your week is a night without soccer, baseball or football games for the kids and no club, church or PTA meetings.
30. You actually get most of these jokes and forward them to all your Virginia friends.
Subject: Blondes
ONE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband asked, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."
TWO
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
THREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
FOUR
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
FIVE
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
SIX
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
SEVEN
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
EIGHT
A group of blondes in a class at Texas A&M were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape
measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures-the whole thing is just a mess. An engineer comes along and sees what they're
trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the blondes and
walks away. After the engineer has gone, one blonde turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer, we're looking for the height and he gives us the length.
Subject: How have you lived this long without knowing.....
Apples are more efficient than caffeine at waking you up in the morning.
Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.
A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.
People Do Not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.
When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop...even your heart!
Only 7% of the population are lefties.
70 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.
The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in line.
The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
The average housefly lives for one month.
40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
Eating breakfast cereals like "Fruity Pebbles" and "Cap'n Crunch Berries" will cause your stools to come out green.
Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.
About 20% of all adults in the US have or have had a cockroach that called their inner ear canal HOME. They enter while you sleep! (This rates a good 10 on the ewwww-yuck scale and right up there with the fact that many of us have eaten a spider in our sleep too, EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!)
The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.
The only 2 animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.
John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie".
Among the music that Michael Jackson owns the rights to is the South Carolina State anthem.
In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.
The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.
Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were seventh cousins.
If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.
TODAY'S LESSON....................
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children.
The teacher asked a little boy: "Tommy, do you see the tree outside?"
TOMMY: "Yes."
TEACHER: "Tommy, do you see the grass outside?"
TOMMY: "Yes."
TEACHER: "Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky."
TOMMY: "Okay." (He returned a few minutes later) "Yes, I saw the sky."
TEACHER: "Did you see God?"
TOMMY: "No."
TEACHER: "That's my point. We can't see God because he isn't there. He doesn't exist."
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions.
The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy: "Tommy, do you see the tree outside?"
TOMMY: "Yes."
LITTLE GIRL: "Tommy, do you see the grass outside?"
TOMMY: "Yessssss." (Getting tired of the questions by this time.)
LITTLE GIRL: "Did you see the sky?"
TOMMY: "Yessssss."
LITTLE GIRL: "Tommy, do you see the teacher?"
TOMMY: "Yes."
LITTLE GIRL: "Do you see her brain?"
TOMMY: "No."
LITTLE GIRL: "Then according to what we were taught today in school, she must not have one!"
"FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT" II CORINTHIANS 4:7
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured, and of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated! How did he do it?"
God shrugged and said........."Jesus saves."
Think you know everything?
1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
4. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
5. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
6. There are more chickens than people in the world.
7. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
8. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched".
9. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
10. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
11. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
12. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
13. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
14. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
15. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
16. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
17. There are only four words in the English languagewhich end in "dous"..tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
18. Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo De Nuestra Senora la Reina De Los Angeles De Porciuncula".
19. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
20. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
21. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
22. In most advertisement, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
23. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
24. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's A Wonderful Life".
25. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
26. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
27. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
28. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
29. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
30. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
31. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
32. Mr. Rogers is an ordained Minister.
33. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
34. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
35. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed only with the left hand.
36. Fifteen people have been crushed to death tilting drink machines towards them in the hope of a free can of pop.
37. An average glass of London tap water has passed through nine other people.
38. Before you die, you are likely to have blinked 415 million times, shed 19 kilograms of skin, and grown 28 meters of fingernails.
39. Coco-Cola was originally green.
40. In your lifetime, you will spend six months on the toilet, one and a half years stuck in traffic, two and a half years on the phone, work for eight years, and spend twelve years glued to the TV.
41. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
42. Research has shown that neither horses or rabbits can vomit.
43. Rats multiply so quickly that in eighteen months, two rats could have over a million decendants.
44. You are more likely to be struck by lightning than you are to be eaten by a shark.
THE GREAT WALL --An American Dream !!!!!...
Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Ladin and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Osama Bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afganistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afganistan.
"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks,"I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out---virtually impenetrable."
"UncleSam" says, "Fill it with water."
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