I suppose each of us will have different reasons for remembering the 2000 version of the G.A.S.P.  New faces, different golf courses, and some hideous weather on Sunday will certainly stand out in my mind.  We can only hope the latter will not deter Al, Sean, and Rob from joining us again in 2001.  However, with two of the new players on our tour forced to tow home the 15 pounds of timber we call a trophy for winning, it would not come as a surprise to this writer if they gracefully decline.  (As I heard Al remark as he left after Sunday’s round, “I played in shitty weather and spend $200 bucks for this!?  Thank God I don’t have to keep it!  Trish will kill me if I have to store this in the house for more than a week or two!”)  Sorry Al.
 

Here is a recap of the 2000 tournament.
 
 

It wasn’t the same without Jack, Mal, Alvin, and Mark, but we can only hope they return soon.  With Doug and Dave planning the festivities next year, including lessons with the “Pro” below, things are in good hands.  (Joe suspects a lot of shots will be close to the HO after the lessons.)  Let’s see if our good friends at Enhanced Energy can top the challenge from Pamco/EFX for best prizes ever.

24 - If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong.  We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
25 - It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
26 - No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
27 - Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  All comments become null and void after 7 days.
28 - If you don't look like the girls on the front of a romance novel, don't expect us to act like the guys in the romance novels.
29 - If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
30 - LET US LOOK!!  We're going to look anyway; it's genetic. 
31 - Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
32- You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done, not both.
33 - Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
34 - Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
35 - Women wearing Wonder-Bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
36 - More women should wear Wonder-Bras and low-cut blouses.  We like staring at boobs.
37 - The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
38 - All men see in only 16 colours.  Peach is a fruit, not a colour.
39 - If it itches, it will be scratched.
40 - Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
41 - If it's OUR house, I don't understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet/attic/basement.
42 - We're not mind readers and we never will be.  Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
43 - What the hell is a doily?
 
 

If you are looking for that perfect birthday or Christmas gift, have our raccoon stitched on shirts, hats, golf towels, etc.  Just take your stuff to Logos Embroidery on Dunmore Road and tell them you are part of the GASP tournament.  The cost is around $6 per item - it looks great!

(AP)  A shocked Mr. B (who, to protect his identity, will be referred to as Mr. Bader in this article) revealed to the world last week that the recent baldness cure developed in his laboratory had produced frightening results after the unauthorized use by local “lumber”jack.  This came days after one Mr. Faichuk was found wandering the streets in tattered clothes, reeking of beer, and endlessly babbling about his recent golf game.  After local police determined this was his normal state, they asked him to explain the appearance of facial hair, especially that under his ball cap, not present since his first driver’s license.  At this Mr. Faichuk burst from the officers on foot to make his escape.  He was captured, exhausted, fifteen seconds later.