Well, where do I begin this time? Long long ago, in a garage in a town far far away..... Screeeeeeech. Ooops, too far. How about a little ways back Bud Boren decides he's itching to do the Hammers. Sorry Bud, I'll pass. Now don't get me wrong, I really do believe I could "hammer" my way through in my YJ. Just cause you're locked and lifted, don't mean you're ready for the Hammers. Needless to say, Bud never once said "You big pussy!" and also never said anything like "if you had a 'Real Jeep' like my bitch'n CJ." But I digress.
Anyway, Thursday night comes and I figure I'll call and wish him well. I get the answering machine. I hang up. I know better. So, I start up this nuisance (aka computer) in the back room we used to call my daughter's and ICQ the ol'fart. Now keep in mind up until I wrote this I said I wasn't going. I'd never even considered go'n and ride'n, but you know how ya say or write things without thinking? It went something like this,
2/12/98 5:48 PM MattnVicky
hey, I called but got the machine...I wanted to make
sure I wished ya luck before ya hit the hammers.
Take care of Donald while you're out there.
Honestly I wish I was ride'n shotgun with ya...we'd
have a blast. Now you're gonna have a blast without
me! Oh well, we got TDS and the Rubi yet!
Take
care Buddy....oh, and keep yer head above water! ;-)
2/12/98 7:24 PM Bud Boren
Hey! That's an idea! Why don't you go with me?
I'm
going alone and and have no rider. I don't want one
unless it was maybe you. Jerm's had to work. What do
ya think? I already have all the food and stuff. All
you would have to do is be here by 8:30 and get in.
It would be a blast and you would really like the
Bakersfield boy's. There cool for sure. Co on ya big
puss
2/12/98 7:28 PM Bud Boren
Quit discussing it and get your shit together. Ya
screwed off long enough. I had no idea you might
want to go with me on that trip. Common ya wimpy YJ
owner. You will get a chance to see how Pokey turned
out. Sinxce I don't know myself. Hahahaha!!!!!
2/12/98 7:34 PM MattnVicky
man, that sure put the minds into motion...my
concern is Bill and Mark. Remember Bill volunteered
to do Rob's SOA. And I'm the one who introduced
everyone...I'm think'n about call'n Bill and see if
he'd be mighty upset if I wasn't there...that'd
leave only Mark and Bill to do the SOA....you see my
dilemma?
2/12/98 7:37 PM MattnVicky
I know damn well if I call Bill he'll say go. And
that he and Mark can do the SOA....but man, is it
the right thing to do? SHIT!
2/12/98 7:41 PM Bud Boren
What delema? You ain't gonna do nothin but look and
suggest are ya? They don't need you there anyway.
You need to go so's ya can give em a first hand
account of me rolling. Hahahaa
2/12/98 7:42 PM Bud Boren
Yes!!!!! Do it. I'll console you for
three hour's
on the way there. I promise!
2/12/98 7:47 PM MattnVicky
I'm gonna call Bill...brb
2/12/98 7:50 PM Bud Boren
10/4 BRH
2/12/98 8:29 PM Bud Boren
WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2/12/98 9:17 PM MattnVicky
Wait a little my dad isn't here
2/12/98 9:18 PM MattnVicky
My Pa is bringing a case of corona In cooler or
box????
So as you can see, Bud convinces me in his usual delicate manner. Of course, by the time I said yes I had already warmed up the wife to the Valentine's day problem. It wasn't a problem of course until Brad Kilby, Bob Bills and Bud all decided to make it one! Oh and Steve Friend joined in on that one too eventually, around the campfire. Of course while we're out there Bud let's everyone know he sent my wife a virtual Valentine. I've got a billion excuses, but NO, I didn't even get her a card. What a Valentine I am!
Anyway, to make a short story long....
The next morning Bud and I load up and get on our way with Donald Clark close behind. Lots of stupidity on the way but this story seems to be getting too long already so I'll let it go. Well, most of it anyway. We've made it to 247 now and we have no idea how long we're supposed to travel this road before we turn off on Boone road which is the dirt road leading down to Means Dry Lake. Both of us are watching for the turn-off. As we're going along Bud's sure he recognized the Bakersfield Boys heading the opposite direction. Ha ha Bud laughs cause they must have missed the turn off. Several miles down the road we decide we've gone too far. So Budville is whipped around with Pokey in tow and now we're back on track. Many miles down the road, "There it was!" Bud hollers. Past tense you notice? So Budville does the hokey Pokey again and now we're travel'n about 2mph with a fuel truck breathing down Pokey's back and atlast we make the turn off. If you ever go, the reason Boone road is so hard to find is becuse the words "Boone Road" are on a sign that's about 3'x 4' (yes feet). But there's so much other text on this sign it would be like reading one of my trip reports. We arrive on the lake bed and the Bakersfield bunch are unpack'n and set'n up camp. I don't know if I could accurately describe the "Bakersfield Boys" (hereafter referred to as BB), but there's gotta be atleast 30 people. Ages ranging well beyond those on this list with everything in between. Everyone's tent camping. A huge kitchen is sprawled out on tables. The Jeeps vary in age like the BB with one exception, not one stinking YJ! Even a brand spank'n new TJ, but no YJs. (Don't let it go to yer head Brad, it didn't go on the Hammers!)
Steve shows up pretty much same style and form as Budville. Both pretty much break out a lawn chair and camp is set for them. Oh wait, Steve has the ladies with him so he tosses out a rug at the foot of the door. The fire is go'n, the beers are cold and the BS'n is brutal. Bud is wave'n his arms and Steve is having visions. You can't imagine how hard we laughed. That evening a fellow shows up and asks if Pokey is here. Bud hollers, "hey, ya look'n for Bud Boren?" Out hops Bill Cue and he introduces himself. Turns out Bill's on this list. His name wasn't familiar but his one post was. He's the guy that asked if anyone else was having a problem with the Dana 300 popping out of gear. Remember him now? Anyway, more lies are told, more laughing goes on. As Bill hops back in his Jeep to get back to his camp with the San Diego 4 Wheelers (SD4W) he says, "yeah, maybe I'll post a little more now that I know you guys aren't total assholes!" Bud looks at me, I look at him, "Are we assholes?" (Don't sweat it Bill, we know you were kidding. Right?)
Morning comes and Bob Bills, David Oh and another fellow show. More CJs. Jeez, Donald is the only YJ go'n. Ok enough, on to the trail. Steve leads everyone out onto the dry lake bed. The BB are a lil'bit slow into action but eventually everyone's on their way to the trail head. On the way, Bud's steering seems a lil'bit tight and he's wondering if these 35s may have been too much tire. We were well on our way to find out on the rocks. Or we were, until Bob Bills reports over the radio, "Hey Bud, your Jeep is puke'n!" I hop out look underneath and see anti-freeze spit'n out. The hood comes up and it looks like the overflow is "overflow'n." Uh oh, Pokey threw a belt! The BB goes into action, Bud has a smoke and the belt is in before Bud finishes. A trail problem to the BB is like steak to a lion. Get out of the way! It reminded me of what Jean (the leader of the BB) had said the night before talking about when he'd come across another stranded Jeeper on the Dusy, "I'd a cut my role bar out to help that fellow." To me, one of the coolest things I'd ever heard from a wheeler. So we get on down into the entrance of Sledgehammer. You can't see far into it. Several pretty cool obstacles and we stop a few times to watch as everyone gets through them. One thing for sure, Steve and Bud are in a class by themselves. Eventually, we come up to a Jeep sitting in the middle of the trail. Now up to this point. I'd say there wasn't anything harder than the Rubicon. Alot of rocks, but certainly not the sluices. I walk ahead to see what the hold up is and as I come around the corner I say out loud, "Now I see what all the fuss is about on the hammers!" First, there's two steps to get up. Both must be roughly 4' and the second is a 90 left turn from the first. Immediately after climbing the second it's hard right and up over many many big rocks as it sorta slowly turns right till you're clear. I got there just in time to watch Bill negotiate all but the last of the tough rocks. In front of him SD4W were assisting a woman through the last touch piece. CRACK! Yup there went a knuckle. Steve borrowed a radio and informed the rest of our group what was going on and it'd be a few hours before we moved. Lunchtime! This wise guy that David Oh brought with him breaks out champagne and glasses for him and his wife since it was Valentines Day. More harassment about me being such a great Valentine, more arm waving and more visions. I noticed Steve took time out to make a trail repair. Carefully applying the super glue, he managed to repair his daughter's nail and she was ready for the next obstacle. A few of us went up to see how SD4Ws were doing. They were just putting the tools away when we arrived. The Jeep that was broke was started up and attempted to get in motion several times but stalled. The driver got a little frustrated, gunned it and wound clearing the obstacle only to run into another rock and bend her drag-link and tie rod. She was winched into the clear and focus turned to getting an 80ish Toyota Land Cruiser through the obstacle. The Toy came up the second step on with not quite the right line and backed down on two attempts. About then the rain came! On his 3rd attempt the rain had taken away all traction and now he couldn't get back onto the second step. A report came over the radio from the front of the SD4Ws that they were gonna turn around because they couldn't get over anything now with the rain. So without much fuss, we turned around and headed back the way we came. Once we got off the trail we headed off to some of the dunes in the area to play around and eventually back to camp. Bob Bills, David Oh and his buddy aired up, said their good-byes and got out while the get'n was good. It wasn't long before we were all in rain gear out by the fire. As darkness set in it was clear this place had already gotten a lot of water previously because none of it was soaking in. The dry lake bed wasn't dry anymore and from a distance actually looked to be filling in. Up close it was puddled throughout but mostly just a wet mud all over. It was clear that if the rain kept up things could get ugly. Steve decided he'd get out since more than likely he wouldn't get the chance to wheel tomorrow considering the conditions. The rain did stop that evening only to be followed by some vicious wind. In the morning, the skies were clear but the wind was still there. Bud and I hung out till probably 2 or 3 in the afternoon and got out of there.
In summary, it was again a fabulous time. I didn't have my Jeep but I had a really great time just the same. Considering what the group went through, my YJ would have had no problem. But I would have really beat the piss out of it to get it over the obstacle we turned around before, so I feel my decision was sound. Just plain not enough lift. I met David Oh and Bill Cue, a couple of listers I hadn't met before and both are really great guys you should hope to meet. And Steve, this makes two we've turned around on, you're gonna get a reputation!