Team S&M's Top 10 Favorite Gods of Roman & Greek Mythology

You have to love ancient mythology. It's like a massive, sweeping, epic soap opera, but with lightning bolts and mutants.

Here are the faves, in no particular order:

1. Bacchus - The original happy partying alcoholic. The inspirational figure behind Team S&M's Nitrous and Toga parties. Refuses to enroll in a 12 step program.

2. Zeus - The Big Guy... Head Cheese... Top Banana... El Padron... The Man With the Plan... Basically, only slightly more megalomaniacal than your current boss...

3. Hermes (a.k.a "Mercury") - Known as "Speedy" to his friends. Wears winged sandals, a winged hat, winged underwear... uh... Yeah, Herm, we get it... you're fast... really, really fast...

4. Atlas - Think you've had a tough day at the office? Try schlepping the whole freakin' planet around on your shoulders for a living...

5. Pan - Mostly human in appearence, but with goat horns and feet. Resembles every guy at a Metallica concert. Spends the bulk of his day dancing with woodland nymphs and playing the pipes. Atlas really hates this guy...

6. Daphne - A daughter of Peneus. She was stalked by Apollo until she went nuts and got herself turned into a laurel tree to escape him. She might have overreacted a bit... then again, restraining orders hadn't yet been invented.

7. The Graces - Three daughters of Phorcys and Ceto. They had only one eye and one tooth between them, which they shared. Chairman Picklebutt used to date the good looking one.

8. Icarus - Great pilot. Bad navigator. Be thankful Boeing doesn't use wax to hold their planes together.

9. Achilles - Y'know, if you're going to walk around calling yourself "Mr. Invunerable", make sure you actually are.

10. Actaeon - Was turned into a stag by Artemis for peeking at her while she was bathing. He was subsequently torn to pieces by his own dogs. Today, he'd be labeled a sex offender, and would have to attend gender sensitivity training with Apollo.