THE TRUTH MUST BE KNOWN
The Space Heads have been participating in FreakNik. They appear to be normal brothers and sisters, but one look through our special alien detector camera reveals who they really are. Pictured above is a sister viewed through our Alien Detection camera. To the normal eye, she appears to be a regular honey, but here she is exposed for what she really is: an ALIEN>
Appearently this is where they got word of Tupac. One alien, who prefers to be identified as "Nigel" had this to say: "We'd been going to Freaknik since day one. We felt that the flavor of the Black College students was something worth studying. Since then we have had our people posing as Black Teenagers and Black Young Adults in order to get inside the mindset of the average Freaknikker. We heard a lot of talk about Tupac; how good he is, how all of the girls like him, and how many women said they wanted to have his baby. At first, we were going to see if we could make a copy of his thug gene, but later decided it may be better if we could get him to come with us, thereby teaching all of us on Yilamhar how to be real gangstas first hand." The Yilamharians admit that they are a little low on testosterone. "The first time our warriors heard Tupac use the word 'beeiiiach'," said Nigel, "they KNEW it applied to them."
When asked what activities they have participated in Nigel read off a long list. "We've been posing for ghetto pictures, just like the real Earth kids; running trains on our own women and on Earth women; posing half-naked; drinking forties; smoking marijuana, and all in all, having a really good time partying and dancing as if we were one of you. Some times our disguises have actually FAILED, but the Earth kids are so damn high, they think that they are just tripping!" Space heads can be found posing, chillin', illin', taking pictures, grabbing buttocks, freaking women from behind--in other words, blending in with the Freaknikkers who may get a bit out of control.
How can you tell a real Hip Hop Head from a space head? "It's not easy" said Nigel. "If you meet someone at Freaknik and they are giving you a fake name, or you can tell they are lying about where they are from, then chances are, they are an alien. True, a lot of Earth guys do the same thing, but for some reason, us Yilamharians tend to get caught." Nigel also said that a space head "never seems to have any money, yet always has plenty of weed to smoke or beer to drink. What we do is send our participants down to Earth with a replicator that can manufacture all of the drugs they need. That way we don't have to worry about any of them getting locked up and thrown in an Earth jail, where they are sure to be found out."
The aliens have been trying to hide their presence at Freaknik for years. However, they were discovered during a recent misfortune. "One of our agents disguised himself as Tupac, and told an Earth girl that he had come back as Machivelli. He then proceeded to have sex with her without using any protection. Now, we Yilamharians are immune to all Earth diseasese; however, we are VERY fertile beings. The young lady was telling everyone that she was having Tupac's baby, but when the delivery came, she gave birth to a hybrid. The child did, however, have her eyes." Nigel then said that the aliens managed to cover up the incident by using memory manipulation devices on the family and hospital staff. The girl thinks that the pregnancy never occurred and has been programmed to tell friends and relatives who actually remember the pregnancy that quote "Y'all niggas are trippin'."
At the time of this writing, we at the organization were informed by other alien sympathizers that the Space Heads are continuing their surveillance of Freaknik and other Black activities. They are learning our slang and eating Soul Food and developing problems with their blood pressure and cholesterol. The aliens also think that Bill Clinton should not have been impeached. They are starting to develop a dislike for Republicans and are even considering kidnapping Rush Limbaugh and giving him an anal probe just for fun. The aliens are even learning how to do the Running Man, The Snake, and other black dances; are starting to get braids, afros, dreadlocks and hair weaves; have developed an appreciation for P-Funk and are even starting to have their own discussions about Good Hair and Bad Hair.
