Azian Killa'z Domain
Humor!!!!!
You know if your an Asian if...
Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.
Your dad is some sort of engineer.
Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.
You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing.
You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
You shop 99 Ranch.
Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from.
You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a
temple, forest or library.
Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
You drive mostly Japanese cars.
You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.
At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say..."
You know what bok choy is.
You've ever gotten little red envelopes around February.
Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.
You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every time someone calls you. (e.g., Jean- ee - yah! or Mary - yah!).
You have NO eyelashes.
Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular: ching chong woo bok
chi, etc...
Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin.
The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner.
Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher.
At least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses.
Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In Korea (or other native country),
we studied even more."
Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian.
An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?"
Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both.
Your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!"
Everyone thinks you're good at math.
Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "Ai-yahs and Wah's."
You like $1.75 movies.
You like $1.50 movies even more.
Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words
that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime green.
Your parents insist you marry within your race.
You never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation oriental food.
You either really, really want to go to UCI or really, really want to stay away from it.
Your parents have never kissed you.
Your parents have never kissed each other.
You learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents.
"You want a stereo! When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate.
You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle."
You have 12+ aunts and uncles.
At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway. It's still good."
The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses, thick glasses.
You will most likely be taller than your parents.
Your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin or both.
You get nothing if you do well in school, but get in big trouble if you don't.
When going to other peoples' houses, you always have to bring a gift.
Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.
Your family owns a tennis racquet, golf clubs, or both.
Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e., Michael Chang).
The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.
You have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine.
You own a rice cooker or two.
You buy soy sauce by the gallon.
Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native
country, and how much they still appreciated going.
Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come.
You know if your a Vietnamese if...
You look older than you really are.
Your parents are scared of anyone that is black.
Your parents dog on Mexicans.
You know you're superior to other Asians.
Your parents think you're 12 when you're really 18.
You hate Filipinos.
You beat any Filipino down if you see them stare you down.
Guys: you sit on your butt all day.
Girls: you do everything while your man sits on his butt.
Guys: you have a nice variety of white and black shirts, blue and black jeans and slacks.
You cuss out anyone in Vietnamese that gets you pissed off.
Your parents think you're the worst kid.
Your parents compare you to 4.5 nerds and call you stupid.
You watch Vietnamese translated movies that are 30 tapes long.
You listen to New-wave, Techno, Rap, Slowjams, and/or Eurodance.
You show your Viet-pride to the fullest.
You go to Little Saigon once in a while or every weekend or everyday!
While you are in Little Saigon, you always go to Phuoc Loc Tho where you head straight into that Asian Collection
music store.
You always take American friends to go to Bo 7 Mon (Seven courses of Beef) to amaze them with Vietnamese foods.
There's Chinese in your family line somewhere.
You live in the valley (SFV), O.C., or somewhere in the East.
You get along with other vietnamese even though they are total F.O.B.'s.
You're down for your crap.
You're loyal to ALL your friends.
You don't own an American car.
Girls: You hate all F.O.B.'s that go "Hey, babee, you cute. Can I hab yo fone numba?"
Guys: You enjoy getting slapped by the girls you try to mack on. Hey, at least she touched you.
You are the bomb at pool.
You like to wear Nike, Adidas, Tommy, or Nautica. If you're an F.O.B., you wear Calvin Klein and Guess.
You are always updated with the Asian style.
Guys: You either have high spikes or slicked small bangs combed back.
You highlight your hair.
You buy Levi's 501s and you slit the sides.
You played the piano once in your life.
You take 2 or more showers a day.
Your parents always boast about you to all the other Vietnamese parents, or your parents totally dogg on how stupid
your are to other Vietnamese parents.
After you come from the beach with a tan, they say that you look Cambodian.
No matter what you are, people think your Chinese or Korean.
Anybody will ask you to say something in Vietnamese. After you told them hello and how are you doing in Vietnamese,
they ask about the cuss words.
Your parents can only help you with the math assignments and no other subjects.
You like Durian.
When you get detention or demirits from school, your parents think that you are a rebel.
When your parents see that you get bad grades, they start lecturing about how they went through hell in school in
Vietnam. They would say that they would have gotten whooped in the butt.
Your parents always compare Vietnam and America.
When you are feeling ill, your parents think you're on drugs.
Your parents have the whole collection of Paris By Night.
Your parents always criticize you, criticize others, and criticize each other.
Guys: You love Acura Integras and 4-Runners.
Your parents want you to be better than everyone else.
Guys: you, one time in your life, had the regulation bowl cut.
You ate 4 bowls of rice, then five minutes after, your parents ask you if you want to eat 4 more bowls.
Your aunts always have a fro hair cut.
Your parents always compare you to those big buff white peeps.
In your house, there's always multiple pictures of your family and you when you were small, side by side in every room.
You have the last name or related to someone who has the last name: Nguyen.
Guys: You only go for only cute Asian girls.
Girls: You went out with or liked someone named Minh.
Your dad wears glasses and always has the good ol' hair combed to the side.
You only buy products made in Japan.
Your parents always remind you to greet every older person in Vietnamese if they're Vietnamese.
You always have pounds of rice around the house.
Your parents hate pets except for harmless, CHEAP goldfishes.
You collect all the coupons you can find.
Your grandparents always give you money.
Your parents know how to make Pho.
You're taller than your parents.
You have a computer.
Your parents only watch TV when the Little Saigon Television is on.
You put Soy Sauce on every food.
You enjoy Karaoke and/or you have the machine at home.
You can't date until your 60.
Your parents make you get married with only Vietnamese people.
You like playing volleyball.
