G'day again. You have arrived at the Golf page. I won't bother telling you what is on this page, because I think you can figure it out for yourself. So, read on.

What you need to play
 1. Golf clubs and bag
2. Goofy pants and a fat ass (Optional, unless you plan to turn professional)
3. A course to play at
5. The patience to play. A golf game can take a long time depending on how good you are.

A complete explanation of the game
This bit is for those of you who are a bit stuffed in the head and don't know what golf is.
 
Golf, outdoor game in which individual players use specially designed clubs to propel a small, hard ball over a field of play known as a course or links. The object of the game is to advance the ball around the course using as few strokes as possible.

The Golf Course
A golf course is divided into 18 sections, called holes. The standard course is about 5,900 to 6,400 m (about 6,500 to 7,000 yd); the individual holes may vary in length from 90 to 550 m (from 100 to 600 yd). Each hole has at one end a starting point known as a tee and, imbedded in the ground at the other end, marked by a flag, a cup or cylindrical container (also called a hole) into which the ball must be propelled in order to complete play at each hole. The cup is usually made of metal or plastic, 10.8 cm (4.2 in) in diameter, and at least 10 cm (4 in) deep.
Play begins at the first tee, a level area of turf, generally raised slightly above the surrounding terrain. From here each player tries to drive the ball onto the fairway or main part of the golf course, a carefully tended strip of land, 27 to 90 m (30 to 100 yd) wide, on which the grass has been cut to provide a good playing surface for the ball. On either side of the fairway is the rough, which consists of areas covered with long grass, bushes, or trees, and which sometimes contains sandy, rough, or marshy land that compel golfers to use additional skill and judgment in playing their shots. In the absence of such natural obstacles, artificial hazards may be constructed. Among these are bunkers, also known as traps, which are hollows dug in the earth and usually filled with loose sand; mounds and other earthen embankments; and water hazards, such as ditches, creeks, ponds, or lakes. At the far end of the fairway from the tee is the putting green, an area of closely cropped grass surrounding the hole or cup. The smooth surface of the putting green is designed to facilitate the progress of the ball into the cup after the ball has been given a tap or gentle stroke known as a putt.

Golf Strokes and Golf Clubs
In addition to the putt, the specialized stroke used on the green, two main types of shots are used in playing each hole: the drive, which is a long shot from the tee onto the fairway; and the approach shot to the green. Both types demand great accuracy. Shots of various lengths are played with different clubs, according to the distance to be covered and the lie (position) of the ball. A standard set of 14 golf clubs (the maximum that may be carried in tournament play), is divided into two main types: those known as woods, with heads made of wood or metal; and those known as irons, with heads made of forged steel, usually chromium plated. The shafts of both types usually are made of metal and sometimes of fiberglass. Formerly, each club was known by a distinctive name, but today most are designated by numbers. The woods are customarily numbered 1 through 5, the irons 1 through 9. The putter, an iron, has retained its name. In addition to the numbered irons are the utility clubs, including the sand wedge and the pitching wedge, used on medium-range shots to loft the ball well into the air and limit its roll to a short distance after landing.
The clubs are variously used in achieving distance, height, or accurate placement of the ball; the angle at which the striking surface is set on the shaft of the club determines the trajectory of the ball. For making drives and distance shots on the fairway, the woods (No. 1, or driver; No. 2; No. 3; No. 4; or No. 5) and the "long" irons (No. 1, No. 2, or No. 3) are used. For the initial drive of each hole, the ball is teed up-that is, placed on a small wooden, rubber, or plastic peg, known as a tee, which the players carry with them. This lifts the ball at least 1.3 cm (0.5 in) off the ground, allowing the head of the club to strike the ball with maximum force. For long, low shots on the fairway, the No. 2 wood is used, and for long, high shots the No. 3, No. 4, and No. 5 woods are employed. Other approach shots to the green, generally of a shorter range, are played with irons. For even shorter approaches, known as chip shots, the same irons are used but with a shorter swing. The putter normally is used only on the green or the apron (a fringe of less smooth grass) of the green.

Forms of Competition
Two basic forms of competition exist in golf: match play and medal play (also known as stroke play). In match play the player (or, if more than one player, the team) taking the fewer number of strokes to sink the ball into any particular hole-called "to hole out"-is the winner of the hole; the contest is won by the player or team winning the most holes. If each player or team takes the same number of strokes on any hole, the hole is said to be halved (tied). A final score of "9 and 8" in match play means that the winner was 9 holes ahead with only 8 left to play, sufficient to clinch the match. When the match goes tied until the last hole, the winning score is "1 up."
In medal play, now the more popular kind of play in major United States tournaments, the winner of the contest is the team or player taking the least number of strokes over the total number of holes agreed upon. Although a round usually consists of 9 or 18 holes, the play in championship contests covers 18, 36, 54, or 72 holes. In medal play, ties are decided by play-off rounds.
Par is the term applied to the number of properly played strokes an expert golfer would be expected to use in completing a particular hole without mishap; the aggregate for all of the holes is called par for the course. Par is based primarily on the number of strokes necessary to reach the green, plus two putts. Par for a single hole varies from three strokes for a hole of less than 228 m (less than 250 yd) to five strokes for a hole of more than 428 m (more than 471 yd). Occasionally, on a par-three hole, a player makes a hole in one-that is, drives the ball from the tee into the cup in one stroke. It has been calculated that the odds against any player doing this are 8,606 to 1. A score of one less than par is referred to as a birdie, and two less than par (for example, a score of three on a par-five hole) is called an eagle. Three strokes less than par is known as a double eagle. One stroke over par is called a bogey; two over par is a double bogey.

History
Some historians feel that golf originated in the Netherlands (the Dutch word kolf means "club"), but the Romans had a game played with a bent stick and a ball made of feathers that may have been the original source of the game. It has been fairly well established, however, that the game actually was devised by the Scots in the 14th or 15th century. The game became so popular in Scotland that in order to keep people from playing golf and football during time that should have been employed in practicing archery, a military necessity, the Scottish parliament in 1457 passed a law prohibiting both games. The Scottish people, however, largely ignored this and similar laws, and early in the 16th century James IV, king of Scotland, took up the game of golf. His granddaughter Mary, later Mary, queen of Scots, took the game to France, where she was educated. The young men who attended her on the golf links were known as cadets ("pupils"); the term was adopted later in Scotland and England and became caddy or caddie. (Caddies, once an integral feature of the game, have now been largely superseded by golf carts and buggies.) In England the game was made popular by the attention given it by James VI of Scotland, later James I of England, and his son Charles I.
In the 18th century the first golf associations were established; they included the Honourable Company of Edinburgh Golfers (1744); the St. Andrews Society of Golfers (1754), which in 1834 took its present name, the Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St. Andrews; and the Royal Blackheath (1766), near London, where according to tradition golf was introduced to England in 1608. The first clubs established outside Great Britain were the Calcutta Golf Club of East India (1829) and the Royal Bombay Club (1842). The first golf club established in the western hemisphere was Canada's Royal Montréal Golf Club, founded in 1873. It is believed that golf was played in America during the colonial period, but no documented proof of this has been advanced. In 1888 the St. Andrews Golf Club of Yonkers, New York, was established. Some authorities say this is the oldest continuously existing golf club in the United States. The popularity of the game in the United States and Great Britain reached great heights by the 1920s and steadily increased over the years, fostered by television. In the United States alone, more than 12,400 golf courses serve over 20 million people who play golf at least once a year.
Golf is also popular in Canada, South Africa, and Australia and underwent phenomenal growth in Japan following the end of World War II in 1945.

Rules and Regulations
The rules of play for golf are numerous and complex and include a code of etiquette for behavior on the green.
The game was originally played with a ball made of feathers tightly packed in a leather cover. About 1850 a ball made of gutta-percha came into use. Gutta-percha is a milky liquid, derived principally from Malaysian trees, that hardens after being boiled and cooled. About 1901 a ball with a rubber core enclosed in gutta-percha, similar to the ball in use today, was developed. The pitted surface of modern golf balls acts to stabilize flight. Golf balls used in the United States have a diameter of no less than 4.27 cm (1.68 in) and weigh not more than 45.93 g (1.62 oz). The British have traditionally used balls of this same weight but with a diameter of not less than 4.11 cm (1.62 in). In 1968 experiments were undertaken to investigate the possibility of establishing a single set of specifications for golf balls.

Governing Bodies
The organizations that establish golf rules for the world are the Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St. Andrews and the United States Golf Association (USGA), founded in 1894. Before 1913, golf in America was played chiefly by people of wealth. In 1913, however, after the American former caddie Francis Ouimet won a victory over two outstanding British professionals in the U.S. open championship tournament (open to amateurs and professionals), golf came to the attention of the American public in general. The Professional Golfers' Association of America (PGA) was organized in 1916, and annual tournaments were started during the same year. Currently, some 8,500 members of the PGA assist amateur players, mostly as club or resort instructors; and each year several hundred professionals tour the country playing in major tournaments. The Ladies Professional Golf Association (LPGA) numbers about 550 club instructors and tournament players. Major tours include the PGA (for men), the LPGA (for women), and the Seniors tour (for men over the age of 50).

Tournaments
Each year many golf championship tournaments take place. The most important of these for men are the U.S. Open (for professionals), the U.S. Amateur, the Masters (an invitational match for professionals), the PGA Championship, the British Open, and the British Amateur. For women the important tournaments are the British Ladies Amateur Championship, the U.S. Women's Amateur, and the U.S. Women's Open. International matches are also played, notably between teams from the United States and Great Britain. The Walker Cup Match (amateur) and the Ryder Cup Match (professional) are for men; the Curtis Cup Match (amateur) is for women. World competition tournaments for men include the Eisenhower Cup (amateur), the Ryder Cup and the World Cup (professional), and the Shun Nomura Trophy and the Francis H. I. Brown International Team Match Trophy (seniors). World competition tournaments for women include the Espirito Santo Trophy.
The most famous feat in the history of golf was achieved by the American amateur player Bobby Jones, who in 1930 achieved the grand slam of golf by winning the British Open, the British Amateur, the U.S. Open, and the U.S. Amateur. One of the greatest women players of all time was Babe Didrikson Zaharias, an American who competed both as an amateur and as a professional.

Other Forms of Golf
Because it is more a participant than a spectator game, variations of golf, many of which can be played at night under lights, are developed from time to time. Miniature golf, a putting game on fancifully designed courses, became popular in the 1930s. Special putting greens and driving ranges combine practice and recreation. Pitch and putt is a shorter version of the long game.

Contributed by:
Joseph C. Dey, Jr.
 

"Golf," Microsoft(R) Encarta(R) 96 Encyclopedia. (c) 1993-1995 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. (c) Funk & Wagnalls Corporation. All rights reserved.

 
As you can see, this is no simple game. It is quite complicated and there is a lot to learn if you want to play like a pro. But there are some good things about it. It is a relaxing sport, and when you are out on a good course, the scenery is almost always beautiful. I love golf and it is a sport that I recommend everyone should get into.

Golf glossary
Below is a glossary of golf terms.
Ace: a golf score of one stroke on a hole; also : a hole made in one stroke
Address: to adjust the club preparatory to hitting (a golf ball)
Approach: to make an approach in golf
Back (rear): constituting the final 9 holes of an 18-hole golf course
Balata: a substance like gutta-percha that is the dried juice of tropical American trees (esp. Manilkara bidentata ) of the sapodilla family and is used esp. in belting and golf balls; also : a tree yielding it
Best-ball: : relating to or being a golf match in which one player competes against the best individual score of two or more players for each hole _ compare four-ball
Birdie: a golf score of one stroke less than par on a hole
Bisque: one or more strokes off a golf score
Blast: to hit a golf ball out of a sand trap with explosive force
Bogey: one stroke over par on a hole in golf
Bunker: a sand trap or embankment constituting a hazard on a golf course
Can: to hit (a golf shot) into the cup
Carry: to pass over (as a hazard) at a single stroke in golf
Casual Water: to pass over (as a hazard) at a single stroke in golf
Chip shot: a short usu. low approach shot in golf that lofts the ball to the green and allows it to roll
Closed stance: a stance (as in golf) in which the forward foot is closer to the line of play than the back foot _ compare open stance
Country club: a suburban club for social life and recreation; esp : one having a golf course _ usu. hyphenated in attributive use
Course: golf course
Cup: the metal case inside a hole in golf; also : the hole itself
Cut: the elimination of part of a large field from further competition (as in a golf tournament) _ often used with miss or make to denote respectively being or not being among those eliminated
Dimple: a depression or indentation on a surface (as of a golf ball)
Divot: a loose piece of turf (as one dug from a golf fairway in making a shot)
Dogleg: a golf hole having an angled fairway
Drive: to hit (a golf ball) from the tee esp. with a driver; also : to drive a golf ball onto (a green)
Driver: to hit (a golf ball) from the tee esp. with a driver; also : to drive a golf ball onto (a green)
Driving range: to hit (a golf ball) from the tee esp. with a driver; also : to drive a golf ball onto (a green)
Eagle: to hit (a golf ball) from the tee esp. with a driver; also : to drive a golf ball onto (a green)
Fade: a slight to moderate and usu. intentional slice in golf
Fairway: the closely mowed part of a golf course between a tee and a green
Flagstick: the closely mowed part of a golf course between a tee and a green
Foozle: a bungling golf stroke
Forecaddie: a golf caddie who is stationed in the fairway and who indicates the position of balls on the course
Four-ball: relating to or being a golf match in which the best individual score of one partnership is matched against the best individual score of another partnership for each hole
Foursome: a golf match in which two players compete against two others with players on each side taking turns playing one ball; broadly : any golf match involving four players
Fringe: an area bordering a putting green on a golf course with grass trimmed longer than on the green itself
Front (forehead): constituting the first nine holes of an 18-hole golf course
Gallery: the spectators at a tennis or golf match
Golf ball: a small hard dimpled ball used in golf
Golf cart: 1 : a small cart for wheeling a golf bag around a golf course  2 : a motorized cart for carrying golfers and their equipment over a golf course _ called also golf car
Golf course: an area of land laid out for golf with a series of 9 or 18 holes each including tee, fairway, and putting green and often one or more natural or artificial hazards _ called also golf links
Greenkeeper: a person responsible for the care and upkeep of a golf course
Greens fee: a person responsible for the care and upkeep of a golf course
Groove: to perfect by repeated practice
Hack: to play inexpert golf
Halve: to play (as a hole in golf) in the same number of strokes as one's opponent
Handicapper: a person who competes with a (specified) handicap (as in golf)
Hole: a shallow cylindrical hole in the putting green of a golf course into which the ball is played
Hole out: a shallow cylindrical hole in the putting green of a golf course into which the ball is played
Honor: the privilege of playing first from the tee in golf
Hopelessly: in a hopeless manner _ used esp. as an intensifier
Hosel: a socket in the head of a golf club into which the shaft is inserted
Iron: any of a series of numbered golf clubs having relatively thin metal heads
Kid: younger or less experienced
Lie: the position or situation in which something lies
Links: golf course
Linksman: golf course
LPGA (abbr): Ladies Professional Golf Association
Mark (boundary): to pick up (one's golf ball) from a putting green and substitute a marker
Match: a contest between two or more parties

Match play: golf competition in which the winner is the person or team winning the greater number of holes _ compare stroke play
Miniature golf: a novelty golf game played with a putter on a miniature course usu. having tunnels, bridges, sharp corners, and obstacles
Name: an illustrious record
Nine: the first or last nine holes of an 18-hole golf course
Open stance: a stance (as in golf) in which the forward foot is farther from the line of play than the back foot
Overplay: to strike a golf ball beyond (a putting green)
Par: the score standard for each hole of a golf course
Pin: the staff of the flag marking a hole on a golf course
Pitch: to hit (a golf ball) in a high arc with backspin so that it rolls very little after striking the green
Putt: a golf stroke made on a putting green to cause the ball to roll into or near the hole
Putter: a golf club used in putting
Putting green: a smooth grassy area at the end of a golf fairway containing the hole
Rough: uneven ground covered with high grass, brush, and stones
Run: to make (a golf ball) roll forward after alighting
Sand trap: to make (a golf ball) roll forward after alighting
Sclaff: to scrape the ground instead of hitting the ball cleanly on a golf stroke
Shaft: the handle of a tool or instrument (as a golf club)
Shank: to hit (a golf ball or shot) with the extreme heel of the club so that the ball goes off in an unintended direction
Single: a golf match between two players
Sole: to place the sole of (a golf club) on the ground
Stroke: such a stroke charged to a player as a unit of scoring in golf
Stroke play: such a stroke charged to a player as a unit of scoring in golf
Stymie: to obstruct a golf shot by interposition of the opponent's ball
Swale: a shallow depression on a golf fairway or green
Sweet: skillful, proficient
Tap-in: a short putt in golf
Tee: a small mound or a peg on which a golf ball is placed before being struck at the beginning of play on a hole
Three-ball: relating to or being a golf match in which three players compete against one another with each playing a single ball
Threesome: a golf match in which one person plays his ball against the ball of two others playing each stroke alternately
Top: a forward spin given to a ball
Tour: a series of professional tournaments
Tournament: a series of games or contests that make up a single unit of competition (as on the professional golf tour), the championship play-offs of a league or conference, or an invitational event
Twosome: a golf singles match
USGA (abbr): United States Golf Association
Waggle: a preliminary swinging of a golf club head back and forth over the ball before the swing
Wedge: an iron golf club with a broad low-angled face for maximum loft
Wood (insane): a golf club having a thick wooden head
Wood shot: a golf shot played with a wood

From Merriam-Webster's Collegiate(R) Dictionary at www.Merriam-Webster.com by Merriam-Webster, Incorporated.

As I said before, this is no simple sport. But I do hope that you play it and enjoy it.

Some pictures of golf courses
I'm not going to explain this part. You can figure it out yourself. Click on an image to see an enlarged version.
  
  

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