Maria

Maria just got married, and being a traditional Italian, she was Still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous, but her mother reassured her "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you." So up she went.

When she got upstairs, Tony takes off his shirt, and exposes his hairy chest. Maria runs downstairs to her mother and says "Mama, mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest". "Don't worry, Maria," says the mother, "all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs, he'll take care of you." So.. up she went.

When she gets up into the bedroom, he takes off his pants, showing his hairy legs. Again Maria runs down the stairs to her mother "Mama, mama, Tony took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!". "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man - go upstairs and he'll take care of you.". So... up she went.

When she was up there, Tony takes off his socks, and on his left foot he's missing three toes. When Maria sees this, she runs downstairs. "Mama, mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!".

"Stay here" says the mother, "This is a job for mama!"