?
The Merry Rogues were pacing the room, racking their brains for anything resembling an idea.
'Little Horn, couldn't you use your lightstaff to cut a door in one of the walls?' Lady Mirax asked. Behind her, Friar Tycho was murmuring something about 'Food, food?,' Jenique was murmuring 'Drink, drink?,' and Iliana was murmuring, 'Food, drink, food drink?'
Little Horn dutifully tried to cut through the stone, but it was too much even for his ample lightstaff. 'Noo!' He moaned.
Suddenly, Wes Scarlet cried out, 'Look!' In one of the cleaner walls a shimmering porthole seemed to open.
'Careful! I don't trust it!' Lady Rachel yelled, as Wes moved tentatively towards the glow. He had nearly reached it when he gave a loud yell and the hole seemed to suck him in!
'WES!!!' Lady Rachel ran towards the hole, and was sucked in as well.
'Ili! Did you see that? Lady Rachel and Wes Scarlet have disappeared!' Nat ran towards the hole, hoping to see what had happened.
'NAT!!!' Iliana yelled, but soon Nat had joined Wes and Rachel in their fate.
'Drink???' Jenique raised her head. The yelling had finally pierced the numbness that was her brain - but the distorted words sounded like 'WES-key' and 'SCHNAPPS' to her feeble mind. 'Alcohol?' She ran towards the sound of the yelling voices.
'JENI!' Iliana yelled - but to no avail. Ili was just about to try and go after them - if you can't beat them join them - but then, just as suddenly as it had appeared, it disappeared. And Nat, Jeni, Rachel and Wes were also gone.
Maid Hobbie buried his face in his hands. 'Things have just gotten a lot worse,' he moaned.
Meanwhile, a fair few miles from King Rickety's dubious abode, Commander Hosho was hunting dinner. He had just got the rancor in his sights when something crashed into the side of his head and knocked him senseless.
'Huh?' was all Hosho managed, as he collapsed to the ground, the forest spinning before his eyes. As he rolled over onto his back, leaves sticking to his robes, he made out, through a watery blur, a tall, darkish figure looming over him. 'Who the hell are you? No-one should have been able to surprise me!'
'But I did, and what you're doing is illegal. The rancor belongs to the King. And hunting the King's rancor is illegal.'
'The King is illegal,' Hosho muttered. 'I'm Commander Hosho.'
'Kell Tainer the Second. And don't forget the the. It's the most important.'
'Sure it is. I won't forget it,' Hosho said sarcastically. Now he could make out that Tainer 2 had dark brown hair and brown eyes, and he was smiling. 'I've never seen you before.'
'I'm new. I'm doing a survival course in this forest. Training exercise.'
'You're not doing very well. You won't eat well unless you kill rancors. And where's your weapons? It gets pretty dangerous at night.'
'I use these.' Tainer 2, a wide smile on his face, brandished his fists. 'And a certain amount of charm helps. One smile at the barmaid in the 'Bowblaster and Arrow' and I have myself an instant hot dinner.' Tainer 2's smile increased. 'That way I stay legal.'
'Like I said, the King's a load of Bantha poodoo. Serves him right.' Hosho rose and glared at Tainer 2. 'Well, I guess you've proved you can hold your own,' he admitted grudgingly.
Tainer 2 stared at Hosho. 'Wait, did you say you were Commander Hosho?'
'Ye-ah. Why?'
Tainer gave a disbelieving laugh. 'I have heard so much about you. My teachers constantly lavish praise upon you. Their finest graduate. I've heard you lived here for years, self-sustaining.'
'Uh-huh.' Hosho gave a wry smile. 'Must be getting old, if I let a youngster like you get the better of me.'
'Hey, no hard feelings, I hope? I've so wanted to meet you. Do you mind if I hang around, see how you survive?'
'Go ahead. I could use an apprentice like you.
___________________________________________
Tarris Vaal crawled out of bed, and popped some muffins in the oven. He glanced at his crono, and sighed. Nearly half the morning had passed, and his friend Christian was meant to be calling on him in an hour or so. He swept his dark-blonde hair out of his eyes and yawned. It was going to be yet another boring, uninteresting day.
When he'd eaten the muffins, he threw some logs into the firewood-pile and sat down upon a chair. He lived a lonely life in his little cottage, having lost most of his money fighting against the King. He still had some left, though, and was a careful saver. His money was a lifeline in some ways; often the only time he saw any of his friends was when they wanted money. Life was hard. He dozed off, dreaming that he was throwing a party and all his friends were there, and they had all brought him presents wrapped in shiny paper?
'Hello?' Christian waved a hand in front of Vaal's eyes. 'Are we awake?'
'Just,' Vaal answered.
'Good. Look, I know it's an awful pain but I desperately need some money. I was just wondering whether?'
'Yes. Okay.' Vaal opened his eyes and rose, aiming for his piggybank.
Whilst Christian waited, humming, he failed to notice the three figures creeping up on him?
Vaal pried open his blue ceramic piggybank and counted out some Sherwield creds, which he slipped into a leather purse. He half-fell down the stairs, and stepped into his front room. 'Here you go?whaaaat?' The last was a startled exclamation.
'At last we have them. At last we will have revenge,' Darth Stosh said in a deep voice, swishing his double-ended lightstaff for effect. He wasn't exactly sure why he would want revenge, but the words sounded good. He pushed Vaal into a sack to match the one Christian was in, and slung them both over one shoulder. 'Ooooh?My back!!!'
'Are you okay?' Prince Ackbar righted Stosh with two finny hands. 'My lord?'
'He's fine,' Sheriff Cracken snapped. He lived in awe of the Sith Lord. His comlink, safely stowed away in his back pocket, buzzed.
'Cracken here.'
'La Gar here,' the seductress said. 'The King wants the prisoners brought to him right away, unharmed, of course.'
'Of course.' Cracken said. 'Oh, and if you're free tonight?I thought we could fry some innocents?together.' He lingered over the last word.
'Oh, Cracken, you smoothie. Go on then.' La Gar's voice came back as a silky purr. 'See you later?and Stosh, sweetie, hurry.'
'Yes ma'am!' Darth Stosh straightened, but had forgotten to turn off his lightstaff. He jabbed himself in the foot.
'Ooh, my foot!' He yelped.
Inside the sack, Vaal shook his head. 'Amateurs?why???'
Lady Rachel groaned and pulled herself off the floor. For a moment she thought she was back in Sir Wedge's castle; that she had dozed off and fallen off her chair as she had been wont to do when spinning orange flightsuits. But no - she was in the open air, her whole body stiff from lying at a queer angle on the hard forest floor. Next to her lay Wes Scarlet, still unconscious.
'Wes?' She leaned over him and gently shook him until he stirred. 'Are you okay?'
'Fine, fine - just a bit stiff,' he said, rising. He had a hand to his head and felt rather than saw what was around him.
'Are you sure? I could fetch-' Lady Rachel began, but Jenique cut her off. 'Hey - Wes ain't the only injured one around here,' Jeni said crossly.
'Sorry.' Lady Rachel helped Jenique up, then Nat, who had just awoken.
Wes Scarlet blinked in the bright sun, his eyes not yet accustomed to the daylight. 'Hey - we're back in the open! Where's the dungeons gone? Where are the others?' The questions came pouring out of his mouth.
'I don't know?but we're free!' Lady Rachel said, ever optimistic.
'It looks familiar?I just can't be sure?' Wes rubbed his chin, which was in need of a shave, thoughtfully. He was alone in a forest with three women; he wasn't sure how desperate he was.
'If we can just get back to base?'
'Hey! I'm not drunk anymore. The air's finally cleared the fuzziness from my mind?'
'ILI!!!' The last was a heart-felt wail from Nat, who had just registered events.
'Do you need help?' Some thick bushes to Wes' right parted and a man emerged, looking concerned. He had a scholarly air about him.
'Yes, yes, we do?we have no idea where we are and-'
'Derek.'
'Huh?'
The man sighed. 'I'm Derek. I thought I heard some noise. My B-Dewback is parked just a few metres away and I thought I'd just check it out?'
'B-Dewback?' Lady Rachel, Jenique Loran and Nat all scoffed.
'Now, hey, B-Dewbacks may not be the fastest things around here, but they pack a lot of fire power and they're sturdy little things - and it's your only chance out of here, so if you don't like it I can always-' expostulated Derek, but Wes lay a calming hand on Derek's arm.
'We're very grateful, and are sure your B-Dewback has it where it counts,' Scarlet said, throwing a warning glance at the three women. 'Will you be able to fit us all in?'
'I think so. I've modified her so that she can carry up to four passengers in her back-pocket if needs be - use it to take the family on picnics, you know,' Derek said.
'Great!' Wes Scarlet said enthusiastically. 'Come on, you lot.' He put an arm round Lady Rachel's waist and pulled her along after Derek, who had disappeared into the thick shrubbery again.
'Great. I'm finally sober and there's no TV for me to watch hockey on,' Jenique grumbled to no-one in particular, and Nat absent-mindedly nodded in agreement. Then they, too, followed the path made by the others?
_______________________________
Meanwhile, Darth Stosh, Sheriff Cracken, Prince Ackbar and their hostages had reached King Rickety's palace. La Gar, dressed in a resplendent outfit, came out to greet them.
'Ah! More innocents,' she said, looking at the twitching parcels that were Tarris Vaal and Christian. 'Come in. And I will in turn explain how events are.'
They followed her into the castle.....are my old teachers??'
