"The Cow's Lament"

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since 2nd Feb, 2000



"The Cow's Lament"

Though I've just given birth to a heifer,
And of milk & of pride I am full,
I am sad to relate
That my lacteal state
Was not brought about by a bull!

I have never been naughty, I swear it,
In spite of the calf that I've borne,
Like Farmer Brown's tractor
I'm Virgo Intactor
'Cause I've never had a bull by the horn.

How dreary the fields & the meadows,
The sheep yards are gloomy & grey,
And the one bit of fun
In the year's long run
Has by science been taken away!

I know that the farm is a business,
In which we must all pull our weight,
But I'd pull & I'd pull
For a strongly built bull
For this phony arrangement I hate!

You must not think that I'm jealous -
There are many things that a cow should not say,
But these land army tarts
Who handle our parts,
Still get their's the old-fashioned way!


"Authored by an un-named West Australian Liberal politician travelling west-bound on the Indian-Pacific railway, early 1980's & presented to our friend, Rosemary who passed it to me"