Zimaths jokes

Click here for jokes in the first issue.

The Profs and the zebra

A bunch of distinguished professors were visiting the Hwange National Park. They drove out on the savannah in their jeep, stopped and scouted the horizon with their binoculars.

Suddenly the engineering prof shouted ``Look! There's a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle : A white zebra! It's fantastic! There are white zebras ! We'll be famous!''

The biology prof replied ``I wonder if its offspring have stripes?''

The physics prof punched his calculator and said ``It should take four and a half cans of paint to get the stripes back on.''

The chemistry prof quickly worked out a new paint formula that would make just four cans of paint sufficient.

The statistics prof added ``It's not significant. We only know there's one white zebra.''

The maths prof made his contribution ``Actually, we only know there exists a zebra, which is white on one side.''

But the Park Ranger with them said ``Oh, so that's where my horse went!''

The prof's age

Professsor: Given the age of the light as 3 x 10^8 m/s and the density of water as 1km/m^3, what's my age?

Student: I'd say about -- 46.

Professor: Excellent! How did you know that?

Student: You see, sir, my brother's 23 and he's only half-mad.

Trains and tickets

A group of mathematicians and a bunch of businessmen were travelling on a train. The mathies had only one ticket for all of them, while the businessmen, who had a ticket each, were busy having a good laugh about what would happen when the conductor came around.

Then they heard the voice of the conductor in the next carriage.

The mathies all dashed to the nearest toilet and stayed there till the conductor knocked on its door and said "Ticket please."

A hand duly popped out with a ticket and the conductor went on to the next carriage. The mathematicians then returned to the compartment where the much impressed businessmen were waiting.

On the return journey, the businessmen bought just a single ticket for the lot of them while the mathies didn't have any ticket. When they heard the conductor nearby, the two groups rushed to toilets at the opposite ends of the carriage.

But just before the conductor passed by, one mathematician went to the businessmen's toilet, rapped on the door and said "Ticket please."

(our apologies to Reader's Digest for the last one!)