by Everett Reid
When I was a boy it was the custom of people of great importance and dignity that husband and wife should address each other as "Mr." and "Mrs." Mr. Perkins said "Mrs. Perkins, will you please pass the potatoes?"
Molly Button, who was a hired girl ("Maid" in high class homes) and worked for the preacher spread the word that this form of address continued into the bedroom. I don't know how she knew but we took her word for it. The Perkins had six kids, all of whom were raised so stiff and cold they didn't even fight with each other.
It seems to me that kissing was the prerogative of middle-class folks: those who didn't have to be as dignified as the upper crust and above poor trash. My parents fell into that category. I remember seeing Papa and Mama kiss, and other members of the family and relatives did.
With bitter disgust I still remember the visits of Uncle Charley. He kissed all little children, all women, and hired girls. He was probably the most lavish kisser in our family. He also dipped snuff and wore a beard. You can imagine how popular Uncle Charley was.
But promiscuous kissing wasn't the way of life in our family. I liked kissing Grandma who was short, plump, soft and smelled of violet perfume. I dutifully kissed Mama and Papa at bedtime.
Even the movies didn't go in for lip-to-lip smacks to much. Now and then I see an old time movie and I take particular note of the great restraint in the osculation department. Not too many years ago an actress was denounced because she kissed open-mouthed. Free kissing was pretty much confined to people whose races originated in the Mediterranean area. The French were great kissers. North Europeans and my own British were pretty cold.
Quite a few years ago I was waiting in a bus station. There was a man waiting whose dark complexion marked him as a man of Mediterranean ancestry. He walked nervously about, looked at his watch, rubbed his hands. His wife said, "For heaven sakes, sit down. He'll get here when the bus does.
Eventually the bus came. The man rushed out and stood on his toes in his impatience. A wizened, gray little man stood. Both men waved wildly. When the old man reached the door the younger man – his son, apparently – swung him off, canes were dropped and they were clasped in a grip of great joy, hugging and kissing ardently.
A woman sitting beside me said "How disgusting. Two men kissing."
I didn't find it disgusting. Suddenly I developed a bad head cold. I always remember that meeting as a matter of beauty beyond anything I had ever seen before.
How often in the last days of great suffering have I wanted to take my own poor little Papa into my arms and kiss and comfort him. No chance, in my class and ancestry. Such things just "weren't done."
And now all this squeamishness is ended. TV movies have everyone kissing everyone else – and much, much more. When a male and female meet on the screen they look like two dogs fighting over a bone. Now the Russians have men kissing. True they seem to be confined to cheek pecking but to see a Western politician go that far causes his constituents back home to regard him with suspicion.
The shy and tender kisses such as young lovers used to exchange. The boy, having brought the girl home, stood bashfully at the darkened doorway holding his fedora, teetering on his toes as he tried to make up his mind, will he kiss her or won't he kiss her? His girl was just as undecided. If she let him kiss her will it ruin her reputation as a good girl? And when the die was cast what thrilling beauty it was.
I guess young males and females still fall as thrillingly in love. What great beauty is lost when on first meeting a fellow and girl press their lips together and gulp like a pair of guppies. Can it be that the 50 percent divorce rate we have today is the result of the loss of thrill and beauty that went with an old-fashioned courtship?
When asked what teen-agers did a boy replied "Just stand around and suck face." How romantic!
Will today's freedom to kiss ever bring the exhileration I got that night I stood with her before her door and trembled as I wondered, 'Do I dare to kiss her? Or will she think I'm bold and forward?'
Of course, that all sounds pretty silly today, but on the other hand some of those shy first kisses didn't end in divorce.
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