Well that was my relationship with Christine. God spoke to me many times very clearly telling me to follow Jesus but I could not. I did preach to Christine but she always had a ‘wise answer’ back. On evening God spoke to me and tell me to go to Christine’s house – I did and when I came there I talk to both her and her husband. I asked them what would they do if something terrible happen to them. I told them they need God. I gave them a chance to make right with God. Sarel, Christine’s husband said he make right with God every Sunday and its not Sunday yet. Christine just laughs and said nothing will happen all is well with them. After pleading more I left them. The next day Christine come to me and asks me to go with her to fetch her children. For some reason I was unwilling and let her go alone. Four pm that afternoon the phone rang and it was Sarel telling me that Christine rolled the car and she is in a bad shape. A helicopter went there to pick her up and took her to Johannesburg. I just pass out, don’t know how long I was unconscious. I remember later that night they took me to see her. She was on machines. But I did have hope. I started to pray like mad. I promised God everything and anything. A few days later they told us she is totally brain damage but still I did believe because I believed God could heal her. I went form minister to minister to pray for her. My relationship with God got better at this time and my mother leaned heavy on me for spiritual support. I remember praying asking God to not let my sister die because she would be lost forever. I reminded God that He send me to her to plead for her soul just the night before the accident so both God and I knew that she was unsaved I though I got God in a corner because she could not accepted Christ as her Savior because she is brain damage. So God gotto heal her first. God gave me the assurance that she would not die in sin and I was contended. Her health went from bad to worse but my faith was very high. My eldest brother also died in this time and my mother was my responsibility. I don’t know how we did get through this but we did. After time my relationship with God was so much better that I could trust to pray that His will be done. On a Monday God spoke to me and said that Christine is going to die that very same week. I told my mother and took her to spend the whole day to say goodbye. Hennie and I went to lead her to God. I read Psalm 23 and Hennie asked her if she could hear him she has to close her eyes once for a yes and twice for a no. This way she accepted Christ. After she closed her eyes for the final yes to accept Christ I asked her if she is sure that she will be with Jesus when she dies. The tears were rolling down her cheeks and I knew that she was saved. This happened on the Wednesday. She died 4am on the Friday morning. I was to late to see her for the last time. I cannot remember the funeral at all because I was on heave medication.
After this, I backslide again. My heart was broken and I could feel it in my body. Every time when a thought of Christine comes into my mind I blocked it. I did not give myself any change to work this out or get through it. I just ignore my feelings and my hurt. After a year I was in a very bad shape. I felt that God did not know anything about love and I tell people that God cannot be a God of love because He let Christine die. I stopped to go out and got heavily depressed. In this time I got a desire to paint a portrait. I got hold of some paint but could not find a small paintbrush. I tried first my make-up brushes but it did not work. The urge inside of me to create a portrait was so huge that I just had to do it. I use a needle and paint a ship that is in a very bad storm, in the night. But in the portrait there is a lighthouse too. After this I felt better, so I got myself the stuff and did another painting. This time I paint a broken reed also in the night. Someone even bought this painting and I did feel that I was moving on. My third painting was a thing (not a butterfly but something like that) that just came out of a cocoon to new life. Then God spoke to me, explaining the paintings. The first one was I lost in my problems but the Lighthouse was there for me. Second one I was like a broken reed in a very dark night. God gave me this: - Isaiah 42:3 A bruised reed shall he not break. The third painting was I coming out of the cocoon into new life with Christ. I did a few more “Prophetic Paintings, I never knew what I was painting until God showed me the meaning long after its finish. |
