Nuclear Power

Is it really dangerous or just a bit of fun? We look at the facts.

History

In the 1940's US scientist were trying to build bigger and bigger bombs. Bombs so powerful they'd knock the socks off the evil Nazis. There first idea was to use a Helium bomb. Unfortunately, the Helium tended to leak out and made the Allied airmen speak in funny voices. If the Germans managed to capture them, they just thought they were silly. After this method had proved fruitless, one them, probably called Fermi or someone else, prayed to his sun God Apollo who injected the idea of nuclear fission into his noggin. They then had the know how to build a hydrogen bomb. At first the scientist couldn't get their atom smashing bomb to work. The atoms came out pretty dented but it wasn't any thing a good panel beater couldn't repair. Then on the 16th of July 1945 some one realised Americans only use 110V ac, and not 240V. A minor correction was made to their transformer and boom!!! they blow up a place called Trinity, which was a college at Cambridge in those days. Human kind had entered the nuclear age.

Fermi drawing Apollo symbols on his black board while trying to teach a class of students physics.

During the fifties there was an explosion in the use of nuclear technology, sometimes quite literally. Nuclear power stations sprang up all over the country and when the therapeutic health effect of radiation became known people from all over the country flocked to these new health giving spas to bathe in their coolant waters. People painted their houses with nuclear byproducts, it helped keep down energy costs and lighting bills. In 1958 a new political lobby group was formed to demonstrate the environmental benefits of this new nuclear power and became known as the Green Party because of their strange unearthly glow.

But in the 60's things soon turned bad for this new industry. Babies dipped in radioactive slurry to keep them warm at night started growing new things, like more heads or worse. Most unfashionable at that style conscious time. In one case a poor postman was attacked by a dog. This dog didn't just bite him but pummeled his body into a twisted corpse of death with high speed cabbages from its mouth like some perverted episode of the A-Team. The press where having a field day and so they didn't notice until later.

The Now

Death warp slurry, mental radioactive burble juice, and monkeyed Earth fart, these are all common names today's press calls radiation. Does it hurt? No, only sticks and stones will do that. Has nuclear power and the bomb brought world peace and clean cheap power? Or are we all changing into mutate death zombies with strange powers and in all probability we'll end up working for Lucifer's army of the night? Yes, we think you will.

Watch this space for the forthcoming info pack: "Radiation screwed me up and I want revenge: A beginners guide to crazy voodoo and Satan."