Who's polluting YOU?Filthy factories, chemical contamination, dioxin death, pervy polluters, and toxic tabbies. Heard it all before? Think it's all big industry doing the dirty on us? You'd be wrong. We can now revel that its us. 75% of the worlds pollution comes from America, we don't know how much but its probably over 100% of this comes from their lack of personal hygiene(*).
Who's doing anything. Not I. I'm going nowhere near the smelly gits. American PieWhat's are the Yank's doing about this? Well we can now report that they are dumping their waste on countries that can't afford to do any thing about it. Countries like the Arctic which has one of the lowest GDPs in the world. Canada has refused flight paths for this death bringing waste dirt so instead of using planes the toxic waste is been flung over Canada by using large catapults. This can be tragic when it goes wrong. Only last week, a Siberian town was destroyed by a pair of hypervelocity pants that over shot their target. Scotland ForeverScotland, once this vast continent glued to the scalp of England was famed for the peaceful folk who live there. It was a liberal place where a man could wear a skirt or even a kilt, and the people were all covered in ginger and only ate oats. But alas now they've all gone. Seals ate them after mistaking them for "Ginger Nut" biscuits and dunking them in their tea. Apparently the seals got the taste for biscuits after tonnes of polluted radioactive cookies were dumped outside their igloo. We must ask, why were the cookies radioactive in the first place? Maybe we'll never know. Were they made by dragons from New Mexico or even lichen? One thing is: when will America learn?
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Cheese smelting Y-fronts bellow out tonnes of dioxins every day, polluting cows and other woodland gods. Rotting armpits and finger cheese account for a huge percentage of CO2 emissions. Old socks, they're the real killer- 67% of two thirds of the mean weekly biannual emissions crawl out of these.