Index
How to use this index: Oh, look, just read
it, it's not actually a serious index. You people! Bold text indicates
issue number.
10th Anniversary, Overblown plans for 9
Back To The Future II 6
Bastard, I am such a 6
BBC sitcoms, 'Amusing' 11
Beechwood Place, Lack of customers in 3
Bestiality 3, Sum96
Blair, Lionel, tap-dancing his way into path of passing car 7
Bugle 5
Castle, Roy 7
Central News South
crapping themselves over goat jokes 1
informing country of heroin threat Sum96
Chasseuse, Beef 3
Chechyna 10
Cheltenham, Best-kept secret in 8, 9
Chumbawumba 11
Continuum, Space-Time 3
Crapness, Trembling hands of 11
Dead people, Worrying jokes about 5, 6, 8,11
[twice]
Dr Doolittle's particularly crap apprentice 9
Echo
Displaying dangerous right-wing tendencies 1, 10
Journalists rolling around floor like baboons 2
Edwards, Eddie 'The Eagle'
Compared with the devil 7 [twice]
Frightening naked ski-jump plan 8
Ill-thought-out (yet surprisingly successful) plan to find on Internet
8
Included in longest sentence 6
Most famous person in 'celebrity' golf tournament 7
Over-optimistic Olympic hopes 1, 9
Pencil-crayon rendering on video cover 2
Saving entire TV station from disaster 10
Several life-size replicas of 3
Evans, Chris, After seeing success of TV show joke I wish I hadn't made
about 6
Famous People, mocking of
Branson, Richard 9
Brothers, Outhere 10
Carrot-Haired Bespectacled idiots 6
Davies, Sharron 4
Davro, Bobby 7
Edmunds, Noel 8
Ginuwine 10
Harmonica Man 3
Jones, Nigel (MP) 2
Lipcombe, Mr & Mrs 6
Lloyd-Webber, Andrew 3
McCririck, John 6, 10
Nostradamus 10
Oik, Pubescent 2
Police Force 2, 3, 7, 8, 10
Smith, Wesley 6, 10
Stoppard, Miriam 6
Stringfellow, Peter 11
U2 10
Who, some bloke from the 10
Williams, Robbie 2, 6
Williams, Tudor 1, 2, 3, 6
Famous People, vague supporting of
Arafat, Yasser 2
Christ, Jesus 11
Gadget, Inspector 10
Harmonica Man 7, Sum96
Innocent, Mr 4
Jones, Brian 3, 5
Ranks, Shabba 3
Wardens, Traffic 6
Fuck first instance of 7
Gabriel, Angel 4
Girls, Bitterness over 9 [seven occurences], 10
Goats, Central News South jokes about 1
Guess-The-Headline Competition 3, 4, 5, 6,
7, 8, 9, 10
Halfords 2
Hawking, Stephen, possible appearance on Krypton Factor by
4
Hitler, Adolf
contemplated by pensioners 5
wins 10 pounds in photo competition 2
Huge pile of animated dung Sum96
Internet
possible pretensions to 8
half-baked attempt to be part of 10
Late
reasonably 4, 6,11
ridiculously 7, 8
Letters, Late realisation of down-side to capital 8
Mad Professor solves traffic mystery 4, 5
MB Games 10
Middle East, Slow but steady development of democratic system in
2
Money, It's A Licence To Print 1, 7
Monsters
Worm- 4
Snake- 4
Not my bottom, Madam 3
Odeon pushing its luck 8
Old People
Amused by me falling on arse in snow 2
Diving under tables 10
Inability to recognize obvious danger 4
Intricate plans to dispose of 5, 7,11, Sum96
Partaking in unfortunate pre-war modelling experiences 8
Playing games with central heating 5
Pursuing futile dreams of life-long happiness 11
Smashing into buses 5
Suffering at pedestrian crossings standing next to 8
Wandering aimlessly around neighbourhood 11
Writing tedious Echo letters 8, 9
One-Legged Man Causes Traffic Chaos 6
Orgasm 8, Sum96
Party, Noel Edmund's House 8
Pedestrian crossing, Over-long story based on 8
Personal News
Abuse-through-car-window confusion 8
Alarm-clock devastation 5
Argos pen devastation11
Bad joke 3
Bad music taste 8
Bad old joke 8
Embarassment at hands of ex-girlfriend 9
Embarassment at hands of Partners cashier 2
Embarassment at hands of poncy restaurant 3
Embarassment at hands of Safeway cashier 1
Fell on my arse 2
'Jaws!'11
Making twat of self at work 10
Making twat of self shopping for tracksuit 10
Mouth failure 4
Looking both ways on one-way street horror 1
Pepsi-Max related thuggery 1
Punching wall during sleep 9
Something vaguely exciting involving criminals 7
Piercing sine-wave which will immobilize in seconds 8
Pigeons
panes of glass hit by 10
pieces of bread thrown aimlessly by Sum96
Really Useful Show, The 8
Religion, disassociation with 4, 10
Retrospect, CU story which makes least sense in 9
Riot, MP's insignificant role in preventing 2
Salt Museum 3
Scooby-Doo, Police Force adopt tactics of 3
Sorted joke 9, 10
Spitting, Echo story concentrating mainly on 1
Spunk, English 1
State-The-Bleeding-Obvious 2, 4, 9
Statistics, Joke that didn't work because it involved 10
Steak, Dressing up as giant 6
Take That, reminder of the people in 2
Tewkesbury, Aluminium toilets in 10
Travelator, Confusion over spelling of 4
Tubercelosis 10
Twiddling some old bloke's knob 7
Universal Contour Wrap 9
What A Picture! 1, 2, 10,11, Sum96
WHSmiths
jokes made at expense of before I was employed by 1, 2
jokes made at expense of after I was employed by
Williams, Robbie 2, 6
Williams, Tudor
Cuts through the shit 1
Ends up a bit angry 2
Goes mental 3
Possibly seen on TV though I strongly doubt it 6
Womens problems 6
in old people 10
X-Files 1, 2, Sum96
Yeah..ha..r..ha...yeah, then I could go...then I could drive the car,
can't I? 4
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