Welcome to my Monthly Awards Page, where I call them as I see them. The monthly awards are just my barometer of human behavior, based on the stories I happen to see thru the media.

updated 22 May 97

NOTE to all: I'm sorry I have been delinquent in updating for the month of May. I've been busy getting ready for my move to DENVER, Colorado in July.
I'm sorry to say that I will not be updating this page until I am settled in with a new ISP in Denver. I have to devote my time to "WEAPON'S FREE", which I hope to put out in September.
Thanks for tuning in.

ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH: Someone who said or did something quite unacceptable.

Leading candidate for MAY:_______

***APRIL'S winner: FORMER Chief Master Sgt. Stella V. Bryant. She is now a dishonored Airman Basic and is out of the service with a BAD CONDUCT DISCHARGE (BCD) for cheating on her Chief's exam. She had a bootleg copy of the test prior to taking it. This is a blatant insult to the military personnel who study their asses off to make rank. Stella, you're a pathetic LOSER.
(For more on Stella, see the Idiot of the Month section)

(Yeah, I know I had the rapist up there in first place before, but the term "asshole" is a compliment to a scumbag like him.)

HERO OF THE MONTH: Someone who did something right.

Leading candidate for MAY:_________

***WINNER for APRIL: K-Mart for dropping Fuzzy Zellar's merchandise like a hot rock after his stupid comments about Tiger Woods?

IDIOT OF THE MONTH: Someone who said or did something really stupid.

Example-- The guy who put deer urine on himself to attract the Bucks. Yeah, he attracted them alright. He got the crap beat outta himself by a deer! (Jethro woulda never let that happen to hisself! He woulda capped that deer with an UZI! Oh, sorry, make that an AMERICAN made assault weapon!)

Leading candidate for MAY: _______

***WINNER for APRIL: Has to be our pal Stella again. She KEPT the bootleg copy of the test after she took it! Can you believe that someone who works for the Air Force Office of Special Investigations could be dumb enough to KEEP the evidence around?!!

SPORTSMAN OF THE MONTH: Someone who displayed class. It doesn't necessarily have to be an athlete.

Leading candidate for May: ______

*** APRIL'S Winner: Tiger Woods. He had nothing bad to say about Fuzzy, even though he deserved a bitch slap.

To see past award winners, go here.