Dear Newt and Trent:  

Please put down that phone to the FBI. No, the White House is not behind this web page, and they have not asked me to do it -- so put your paranoia back in the box and close the lid. 

So then, I must be one of those radical liberals to have put this site up on the web, you think. Sorry, no again.  

Dearest Newt and Trent, I was born a Republican, raised a Republican, and voted solid Republican for 18 years before I voted for a Democrat. I never voted for Clinton, and yes Newt, I give money to your GOPAC.  

You two chuckleheads, along with Ken Starr, have made a mockery of every Republican commandment, value, and virtue I was taught and which I cherished.  

* THOU SHALT NOT WASTE GOVERNMENT MONEY. Well, just look at what Ken has spent on this. Money for private investigators, money for luxury apartments. It makes the pentagon guys blush, all they could come up with was toilet seats and screwdrivers.  

* THOU SHALL NOT CAUSE GOVERNMENT TO INVADE THE PRIVATE LIVES OF THE CITIZENS. I really didn't want to know the size and shape of Mr. Clinton's penis, and I really didn't want to know about his fondness for sex toys. I really didn't want to know that he likes a little phone sex once in a while (though he seems to occasionally fall asleep), and I really didn't want to know that he and Hillary have a rocky marriage. 

* THOU SHALL EARN THY KEEP AND NOT STEAL IT OR TAKE A HAND-OUT. Just look at the money that your buddy Mr. Scaife has thrown at investigating this president. Just look at the links between him and Starr, and the Republican Senators that ran Fisk out of town and replaced him with Starr. Look at the money Scaife has funneled to Paula Jones and Starr's key White water witness, David Hale. Even I see that this is a Republican Cabal out to overturn the 1996 presidential election. Sorry guys, if I lose an election, I accept it and work harder next time. I don't collude in a Cabal to steal it, or use a $45 million government handout laundered through Ken Starr to get it. Earn your keep, DAMN IT!  

* THOU SHALL CONDUCT THY BUSINESS WITH DIGNITY. Sorry guys, you have just plunged us into the gutter with all this nonsense. Now that you have opened up this Pandora's box, little Danny Burton, Helen Chenoweth, and Henry Hyde have had to 'fess up to their indiscretions. That's great: Clinton 1, Republicans 3 (not counting Newt's affairs). Now we will have to snoop into everyone's past and de-thrown them. Since Thomas Jefferson had sex with one of his slaves, we will have to dynamite his face from Mt. Rushmore, and rip up the Declaration of Independence. 

* THOU SHALL CAMPAIGN AND COMPETE WITH HONOR. Let's see guys, your rich Republican donor and friend (R.M. Scaife) finances an investigation and sham lawsuit to force Mr. Clinton to tell the world about his sex life or lie about it. That's a sleazy damned-if-you-do and damned-if-you-don't game. That's not the HONOR that I knew as a Republican, that's a COWARD'S GAME.  

* THOU SHALL FOCUS ON THY AGENDA OF ISSUES. Guys, what happened with the Budget? Mr. Clinton got his way with you. Your fellow Congressmen slipped $20 Billion of pork in at the last minute. Where are the Tax cuts you promised? You guys must have drooled so much over Ms. Lewinsky and the possibility of impeachment that you slipped in your own pool of drool and fell down the Capitol steps. Guys, get a grip! 

If Mr. Clinton needs to be punished, let Judge Webber-Wright do that in her court. We don't need to pull out an AK-47 to swat a fly. 

Most disapprovingly, 

Hal R. Yeager

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